Show Volume 39 Utah State Collead' AnrII I 195? Communist Capers Curbed Capricious Council Caught BY IMA REDD Campus Communistic capers were believed curbed with the announcement by Otis Newbold Morris fearless campus cleanhad been nabbed up man that tlu-eThe three were captured individually over the weekend after investigators were certain they had cases against them John Carlisle student council president Jo Anne Clifton editor of this year's Buzzer and Keith Anderson president of the Independent Student Association were named by the FBI (Fine Bunch of Indians) as those under e ring-leade- Red-hand- rs Cooing Billing Condemned ' fdifors Resign Staff Gazette Gefs Aggie Men Selected Cooing and billing in the main building has been abolished in a recent step taken by the Adminis- tration In declaring the new policy Pres Angry son stated: “All this has been going on under the noses of the faculty for years and something must be done to stop At a late hour Monday night Rod Yinsen Duane Kristensun BY W IIHNVA QHTTEX it” and Ross Fish & Game telegraphSnerd right-rea- r Mortimer Hon J the circuit rider Despite fierce opposition from jThe Safamous editor of STUDENT LIES Tuesday announced his ed COLLECT to STUDENT LIES Deans Joseph Swimmins and I that they have accepted editoi ship Beenwon Daniel (present mem-beStagnation as editor effective with the “LIES” issue of the National Society of Mortimer announced that he has been offered an attractive of the POLICE GAZETTE Animal Lovers) President Angry-so- n lb as 25th assistant janitor at the Kansas City Star “Plenty The thiee resigned their special inaugurated his new policy room for ad ancement” the on STUDENT with these words: “I'm tired of positions writing s editor opined all these little love-birLIES when they discovered Dean having over BULLETIN-'Vern “Take Me For Granite” my head to find a going takis Lew were Martin and Jerry place to roost From now on all Jirble chairman of the publica- -' business of this type will be conns council announced that ing over Dr Myers Returns trolled through my office pigeon they had twisted his arm “We feel secure In our new an Martin and Jerry Lewis Dr Chester J Mjeis Europe-boun- d positions” they stated “With our hole” lould take over the editoisliip When questioned by reporters head of the speech and broad know ledge on so many sub- at a “We are glad to see Mortimer press conference as to his mo COLhave trouble we should tment ind his statf leave” drama phoned reason jects depai for opposition the presithe stony rest here for the i airman announced dent said: “It isn’t the billing and “Martin and LECT to STUDENT LIES late in holding jobstheir statof our lives” telegram taw is will do a bang-u- p cooing that I mind it’s just that that he was return- ed job" the little pests keep dropping In I Martin and Lewis taking quick Monday night ing to Utah State at the most awkward times” sold of their duties Immediately The tiiad plan to form & new The resolution was activated t up an organisation Rose Marie He was to have boarded the conservative policy for the magachicken w’ire was placed when V’right will remain on the staff and a and his zine family but changed publish “Queen around the tower of completely f is paperweight John Roderick was mind at Mary” edition home the last minute apparold main However the pigeons appointed as sassiety editor to re- ently due to illness 1 New subscription headquarters thus barred have been Invited by jilaoe the paperweight school f Mac Gardner Said he n his phone call: “I will be established at room No 1 Dean ICultivatum of the boy managing “editor will retire Wasptoria Hotel New of agriculture to drop in at the among the del- - would lather be homesick than Hilldoi f Timbuctoo (Continued on Page 12) Yhiniums and sell seed for the heresick ” Banges 2 jlBurp Seed company Andy Havs sports editor jumped out of his ichair when he heard of the resig- 'nation and v ith waving in the air dribbled his knees down Ithe hall yelling “YIPPEE— now I can accept that position as tech- nical advisor to the scouting movement with the Burmese rural district” When Martin and Lewis caught glimpse of F Pond Reese business manager in swimming trunks they assigned him as is J - We-pant- be-bu- se 1 I'-- suspicion Carlisle was first suspected by valiant student council member when Carlisle inDave 'Gittins corporated whole sections of Karl Marx’s “Manifesto” into the new school constitution Lorin Wheelwright Salt Lake City printer put the FBI on Miss Cliften’s trail when he discovered that “PRAVDA” had been selected as the title for this year’s BUZZER A much more difficult time was had In pinning down Mr Anderson Being a sly politician by nature he was more careful In his moves to introduce “'Communism among the Independents Utilizing “swarni” powers he learned during military service he was able to infiltrate personally the minds of ISA members and thus convince them of the great benefits of Red living STUDENT LIES also came under condemnation from the Investigators who heard reports that it might be READ Investigation into the subject matter was being expidited Carlisle converted all Student Council members except Gittins Investigators uncovered Communistic tendencies at a recent meeting STUDENT LIES photographer jvas on hand when the council was found and the picture appearing on this page was snapped Gittins fvas awarded a HERO (Continued on Page 5) Alaskan correspondent Croft and Eleanor (both girls) plan to set U a department at Lund Hall Applications for are being accepted Cards ie available at the IBM room but must be signed by deans advisors president treasurer alumni secretary and head of the veterinary department e Special writers Rod Yinsen Kristensun and Ross Fish and Game stated at an hour that they had variousearly irons in the fire The Editors were still saving space on page 1 at a late hour In hopes that definite wotd would be obtained on their futures Check elsewhere on Page 1 to see If they made it Other staff assignments are doomed to remain as they are sed on the masthead Martin nd Lewis stated (Masthead on page Barbara Knowles baby-tendi- sit-le- is Du-an- 2) “I rX In the midst of m — Caught member of th college Student Council and assorted livestock A complicated system of underground espionage activities was broken by the Fane Bunch of Indians |