Show STUDENT LIES APRIL 1952 — 3 1 PANSIES rv-- 'C by r aun Owe vuhin’f to tht- -e lows and lows f t Z X- y Queen Hendrix I’ I - P for anollier Inief escapade Into ttie BsiiGT (lurinj' this episode of Tansie' Di 177 pi" 0 gl this column with aome writing rie- 7 later on Right now we dedicate oursehes to filhng the rest of the apace with some Jfine jokes gags and uks fl fiom the pages of several tliousawl volumes In the Utah State liln ai y ' Befoie giing out with a legitimate anecdote we heard about an interesting couple the other night the duo in question being Duane Chadwick and wife the former Pa Daynes 0 They happen to lie 'landlord and lady" at Lund Hall The first time Pat met Duane so meiee department i Pluto lluinr he ! he g rxliury a hal a rn'autiful unifoim Cf Pat remarked “Iok at all that Gold Diaid Do you bug juice commit! Dimhlehy was the on dl ifniembn nu command the Xaal Hae or something Admiial?’ who caused bo much iucku about 1 m Gosh in blushed Duane no Admiral just a bellhop at the Erdos Hotel In Logan": m lw d ago ‘‘Then what do those six gold striies on vour sleeve lepiexent” Pat asked" ‘‘years of service?"! fol J)e l5u)tr piriu Then came the quit k leplv "No iliamhermaids I've j p tiaj'iied in the linen closet" wig stitf collar and fancy woild of li'eialuie Immoital prose is in for author f no little note are due prominent jTwo a o lejim-natio- 2 1 2 2 i VGrrill pjs h-- SmCSRSiJUti Bui ( lt J11U I and lia hinted he wiU glae )p put ji Btima committee if u Hi With still a little room left we pay allegiante to the top joke contribution of the week pietuie not used He hat olfeied 0‘ “ actmn thusly A young lady and her aunt returning home from work on pay day wete' 10 ‘M'lanaiion relieved of their money by a stick-u- p man Ttie young lady rushed over to the nearest police- gavt them my buck thiity man and exclaimed: ‘Tve leen loblied of my pay and my aunt's pay" Cut out tile pig Latin and tell nte what hapfiened” the copper otdered 1 ling a9 w te mn unouth'd ihrnuciipi a dale a'‘ipt l v rt and m vu'd h You m advamand n up! aonli-- l immi'p his two i“ai !vm !M-t- i h hit Him M Dr Merrill 6r jS r- 7 K eminently qualified to assist him in thi tole When qui iond ai to what mad him decide to forsake hi i carei college cated that tr a a I rm I MERKIIl Inn ill indi- w ! rt h a J4i up i tll 1 )u he has been an unhappy worried and frustrated man lince someone pilfered his lectur-lr- f pencil Kffoits of the college officials to gt him to remain have been to no atail Another aod man has succumbed to the lure of the moie capital State "You kb' hm goodnight and In tiiinks Jnu ic Mill'lla lUUdc lit tenOB'V to git: JOU icfuso oii know Do Fraternity Frank: anil 011 never dale auM'iu- - in that nis biotin I' tiie secret of populatity? dat- house again In lint jmi SCOII1 ton liilllt 1111 out til be Soiotity Sal- Yes but mother to Laid I houkln't alumni a the blind dale sh-- i iil You Iim voui-sek So oan old mud with canaries and cals "I at I the next time veil tni'U- -i the I'hn-" ' -HIA1IA HAN'T A lATi: THIS VYIIK! N1 “How do you do? I'm an a an a'"ui neve ud because v I doe-n’- g-- e - Mm a kaI IZf sst's t I man" “Shake iZi " 1 ' jaar paper'towel-drying- f frt JOBFALLSTOWATTERS I- :nrj ce -- r Try L Ztt L ACS U asj te t a yu c 2lf Aiked to comment on Ids new appointment Matters with his typical modesty simply aid "Ah hux It ain’t nothin’ my staff deseive all fbe i :or i t It 11 “iJiy up Watteix!” With this admonition fiont the Boaid f Ttuste s Ray VVatteis Chief Potentate of the Phjs Kd Department has taken over the job of ducting the Paper Towel-Dtjln- g Iiivislon As one of the College’s new economy’ inasuiM tis new d‘partmnt has been establish! It ii ill be saved xpected that approximately $C5(K)17 Annually This is to be accomplished by on initial expenditure of 320 for the special w tinging Apparatus with its appu tenances This equipment being established In I he swimming pool "bch has been permanently drained for this jiuipoe l credit" I I I lf fidm-cr- lev-l- Is to be const meted behind take care of the numerous auimminK A new notatorlum Lund Hall to Clares I Li n'- - Rark ago ami a date- - two week ou call a we k abend fin In's biis house five nunulex caily she aii1' a! minutes late: oii anive five miimti late Kc-- i h-- r v ailing on the potch foi bait an Imui she's oti'te a flnf "You snak to one of her friends eak and vou'ie a snob You iien Ho- ear don't fail lo iIhoi Miu'ie living lo look at hei legs n vou'ie not a gentleman oe-"You a k where she wants to go and you'ie ll ou lans t hoiigli t foi not having made Ini juii'ts taking tic to our fialeimiy house i she flunks voti'te iniimidi-- ale for not asking white she waliU In go Aflet aiming at ttie party aha starta a w some of uur pais You don’t uu te tl'inks vim don't caie about liei fool inteiiuU ou'ie a - late mitiu! to con ail m h h'-i- n a feu rmnut‘ arid mad an onmg d t' at biothei ’Yot ptid 'k hi a his f u think on’i becu (ln't you’re Miotp t n tter than tli op atj Ym wait ni him tu spring oil car dxi and h tfiinLx uai’i mJ! I u mi w!ii by youivlf ou't e unniiih m you want to go ou'i a f!ommi mg vonin u diUi’t aie whn y u g you say sweetly that has e o or ig nality Vh-aime at the party u smoe at lux mi ignore lint fiateinty knotlier- - and youic a wiih him all them s ou’i e a snob Yu fliru' dmc with ne t m ning vu'ie unpopulai he's hui t brutliei Tarty Ponper ! lik f:iiy t "lie t a headache and ym niMIod he g your fault bcau-!ng It out toiUKlil You suggest KdiriK hull" h thinks time vmi flnn’t ne ntum you'll- - not tiavng a vou’ic tin- nm-- t tlmuinlcss Kill at I tali jou'ie outdone Ilachclnr 'Yci I vou'ic a stc t" lao li'iir vmi iJ! date ntii car brxs in pi lailaui Mail Tou you i‘ h“i ft b IhiU Ks ft- ht ti a woman wc called on a coniiim‘d bululur Ankr t !U( aic his fiini the Militaiy d'pailmenl Not Major a 0I-Ini- ' ' !intiTr1 miIim is hw a lot of com nent f ina boili eviv dav Wt mad up m mind lo tty the mtuation b nulling jMmo to rrv'UHli hidi - fil'd ht on th uhjM f tut plu ( i i etch lid Thinl so ric(ndirg th '! FiH'u fig mt i uctnp par vcllonr die Ycnr fauces Ieaj v 1 P If UIMKIl-n- PH i five" Diinbleby glow led" and lliat'a enough” d In piotesting tli fellow’ action the publication committee aaid that it la contrary to Umrer poln-- to ue plioto of Pledge Plot attired In apparel they "A pledge apilla a eoke on tier dreaa You abnuld iludenl wear Dimblcby not have known lie was going to do that You liavo do U noimall)a hi own lawt-who serving known the pledge all of three daya and knew L case disagieed was a elun- - oat so why didn't ou wain her about in the her evening him? It's a'l jour tault jou've nnn-“You eem to arbitrarily taka Y'ou take tier home but ou should have known the position that no picture can she didn't mean it be published in our yearbook If "You I ty to knx her goodnight and ahe alapi ou the person photographed has any alii-'You don't try to kisa hei foi being' attite or accessory which he doe a blundeiing idiot all night not alw insulted You've wfii” lie (aid You've don’t know how to handle women jou ‘mined jomself witli Htis gill So jou nrver call Although the publication com 1 lie mittee i aeeklng legal advice in than evei site hale moie and hT agam jou the matter obseivei dose to tba fust thing jou know it' all over the campus Your fiatermly ku k scene have expressed doubt that du1 vmi social aie a what - I Jimhleby rlously Intends to sue vou out and jou’ie foie d to leave school m disTo force publication to pub any next time pick the tip jiu giace So ask vouisrlt THIS CAII RKAILY MifliS- - list nuUeiial it does not Wish to the jtune accept is in violation of fieedom SAHY ?" Iieause of the ties tl was pnnlcd out man ” j r a b-- en monroe dagmar Hurry! 225 Shopping Days Left jM Plus 14 Hours 25 Minutes And fout-p)r- ll'h s GET BOOK SHOP JOBS Seconds VI I joW fujiy oignnired with unpuid-ucolh-glal- p e last I’lesiding up Your Tanner of 2u0 tht-lit liciio clidcr of Inter niwt-in- g (or Idle! Kiljoy held it lnegular turn Ram Inner Club tiighl in the Kloik “Put were at Grundy at the umber party Duke” Gardner Dojle Td uie like to” and Tied “Pimpy” Pendleton v men (rexenl weie Hakell St anger Gen "Golly I feel” Jolly Harold “Stinky" raxlor” Fainxworfh Jetty “Glad “pasvionale nd Glen “Star Spangled no Howell" MBiide Amorg the tioiotiou Banner on lap (2?c Top item of monkey businex of Mnrlljn Dagmar wa inlei the viewing gallon) Monroe and Sally Rand for future employment in the I’aed Book Exchange One rabid Kiljoy wit err down heard to lematk “We’ll b looking up lo them for help?" ’ |