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Show u J4&l Slice of Life l By JUDY JENSEN .. . 9 If the dashboard lights speak, we had better listen Wouldn't it be great if cars had gauges that told the truth? Never before in the history of the world have so many people been a slave to the assorted lights, buzzers and needles on their dash boards... and most of the time those items are lying! Take the gas gauge for example. Have you ever known anyone whose car was actually out of gas when the needle was on the "E?" No! Cars run out of gas at will. Some are empty when the needle shows one-quarter of a tank. Some lucky drivers (and they always push it) claim they can "Go another 50 miles," after the gauge shows empty. And still other cars run out of gas at will depending on their mood. Instead In-stead of a gas gauge, they have a "guess-gauge." And what about the temperature gauge. If you're lucky, you're driving driv-ing a car old enough to have a needle that actually rises as the car heats up. Newer models have lights indicating in-dicating varying degrees of trouble. The first warning is a red light on the dash. Occasionally, the red light will have some writing on it, but it is impossible to get close enough to the writing while you're driving to read it. Experts have explained that the first light says, "check temperature," the second, "engine hot," and the next, "stop." Since they're all red lights, it's hard to know what action to take. In addition to the red lights, there are various "amber" colored lights. One of them reads, "Alt." What is an alt? Have you ever needed your "alt" fixed? If you're driving a German car you could assume it means "Stop." I don't know what "alt" means in Japanese. Equally confusing is the "gen" light Just exactly what is a "gen?' And what do you do when your dashboard "cries wolf." My husband hus-band found that out the hard way. He actually knew what a "gen" was, but his "gen" light kept com ing on and nothing ever happened. He just assumed it was another malfunctioning "warning" light. The car was working perfectly until that "fateful" day at the carwash. He had driven forward until his car was attached to the mechanism, a point from which he later found out there was no return. He happily put down his power window and handed the attendant his money. The car had already started into the tunnel of doom at this time, and the attendant was taking care of the next car that was following closely behind It was just as the car reached the first fine mist of the car wash that Jay realized he was in trouble. The "gen" light was telling the truth. The power window would not go up! Appalled at his predicament, Jay frantically tried to get someone's attention, at-tention, but it was too late. He was already being "washed". Now on some cars, the damage to the driver might have been minimal, however Jay was driving a Buick Riviera, and half of the side of the car is window. By this time the brushes were slapping him in the face, and Jay flung his arms over his head to try to protect himself. The force of the water in the rinse cycle left him with "water pocks." Finally he reached the "dry" cycle cy-cle where he had only the giant chamois to fend off. Bruised and bartered, he emerged from the "house of horrors" a repentant driver, vowing to always pay homage to the "dash light gods." And so we will all remain, slaves to the "little lights" on our dashboards. The fact that we don't speak their language doesn't matter. The fact that they "toy with our emotions," doesn't matter. All that is really important is that we realize who or what is in charge. When the "lights" speak, we'd better listen! |