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Show A Weak Defense. Senator Burton was talking about the defense put up -by a certain corporation. cor-poration. "This defense," he said, "is very funny. It reminds me of Blank. "Blank, after a lot of Christmas shopping and so forth, sat down on a curbstone and fell asleep. "A city missionary shook him by the arm and said: ." 'What's the matter with you, my son?' " 'Been shoppin',' said Blank tired and sleepy.' "'Shopping!' said the missonary reproachfully. re-proachfully. 'But I saw you come out of that saloon.' "Blank looked up from the curbstone' curb-stone' in surprise. " 'Do you hie know who I am?' he said. " 'No.' " 'Then,' said Blank, 'how hie did you know it was me?'" Out of the Frying Pan. David Starr Jordan, at a peace meeting at the Hotel Astor in New York, said to a reporter: "Half the -world at war, and the counsel we are getting is that we must arm more heavily. That counsel coun-sel reminds me of the African king. "An African king feasted a white explorer royally. Then, at the end of the feast, 300 girls were led forward. for-ward. " 'Choose from among these 300,' said the king, 'a wife.' "But the explorer blushed and stammered: " 'Oh, but if I took one, then the remaining 299 would be jealous.' " 'That is easily remedied,' the king answered. - 'Take all.' " Self Denial. "Ernest," she gasped, choking back her tears, "father has lost all!" . "Father has lost all," she reiterated, reiter-ated, sobbing. "Not all?" he exclaimed 'Yes, all." "Never!" he said, bravely, pulling himself together. "You, Miranda, ..still are left to him. I could not be so cruel as to take the last of his wealth." "Ernest!" "No!" Firmly he held her off. "Tell him,, Miranda, tell him from me, that his generosity towards me demands that I leave what little lies In my power!" Chronic. Small Boy (to charitable lady) "Please, mother says she's much better bet-ter of the complaint wot you gives 'er quinine for, but she's awful ill of the disease what's cured by port wine and chicken broth." London Tit-Bits. Inherited. "What superb teeth she has." "Yes, but they are false. "Why do you think so?" "She told my sister that she inherited inher-ited her excellent teeth from her mother." |