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Show Family History. Miss Curley kept a private school, and one morning was interviewing a new pupil. "What does your father do to earn his living?" the teacher asked the-little the-little girl. "Please ma'am," was the prompt reply, re-ply, "he doesn't live with us. My ,' mother supports me." "Well, then," asked the teacher, "how does your mother earn her living?"' liv-ing?"' "Why," replied the little girl, in an artless manner, "she gets paid for staying away from father." Sure of His Victim. "Johnnie!" "Yes'm." "Why areyou sitting on that boy's face?" "Why, I " "Did I not tell you to always count a hundred before you gave way to passions and struck another boy?" "Yes'm, and I'm doin' it, I'm just '! sittin on bis face so he'll be here? ' when I'm done countin' the hundred." ' Houston Post. Chance for a Rake-off. A doctor was accosted by a womam whom he remembered to have seen,.. but whose name he did not know. ' "I BuppoBe," said the woman, "that yer gettin' a good fee, sir, for at. -tendin' the little 'Smith boy?" "Well, yes, pretty good, but why?" :; "Well, I 'ope yer wont forget that ' my little Algy threw the brick that '' 'it 'im!" ...... . . Luxury. "Those Bullions simply roll . in V wealth."- "Don't they? And say, did you ever see Mrs. Bullion's set of state teeth?" "State teeth?' "Yes the ones she wears at receptions recep-tions and dinners. They're made of diamonds, rubies, pearls, sapphires ' and emeralds in succession. Why, one-of one-of her smiles is worth $S8,000." j Taking a Chance. Louise had made loud and repeated; calls for more turkey at the Christmas Christ-mas dinner. After she had disposed a liberal quantity she was told that too much turkey would make her sick. Looking wistfully at the fowl for a moment, she said: "Well, give me anuzzer piece an' send for the doctor." Knew a Saloon. "Was it your craving for drink that brought you here?" asked the sympathetic sympa-thetic visitor at the jail. "Great Scott, ma'am! Do I look so stupid as to mistake this place for s saloon?" Washington Star. The Pace. "Reggie is going the pace that kills all right." "Nonsense! Why. he does nothing from morning to night but lounge around the club." "Well, that's the pace that kills-time." kills-time." Chicago Herald. The Other Place. "Do you know where the little hovs go who don't put their Sunday school mcney in the plate?" Boy 68 mt 1116 movics "-Acrican Her Fean. "Cholly, I'm worrlful about you " ' Bah Jove! Why so'" "You're so awfully English that J ear it may be construed as a vio'-v tion of our neutrality " r nu,.ii'J Courier Journal. LoulsWlle A Hard Knock. Lawver-So you want to make a case of It? " s Farmor Yes. by jiRi' , ofrorpd . ottle by fair moans, , W1 , ! So , decided ,'d hire Illwy,d have him took Into court. |