'.'j I ., MOST ANYTHING. " A WORD FROM JOSH WISE. ip y .Th' man thTs afraid VSvt' trouble trouble gets . 'fSft f troubled a. good deal : j!) by it. . i -' v "Can you give me a receipt' for a vegetarian vege-tarian dinner? Tell me something, I can . substitute for meat." .--- ' "Suppose you try canned beef or bone-; bone-; less ham.". lriXE OPENING FOR SMALL BOY. J When picnic crowds by tummy paints are fV bent and twisted double, 0 k No more do ' doctors say that pink ice J eream has caused the trouble; ' But every time a well filled crowd by some sharp pain Is stricken The-wise old. medics shake their heads and blame the potted chfcken. "Sap Green is a modest fellow, especially espe-cially so for an artist." "Yes. he's so modest he won't wear a Windsor .tie or long hair." "Do you think we should have a lock canal across the Isthmus?" "Of course. I do. If we don't what's - the use of having Key West?" ONE OP THOSE NEW MEMBERS. "So you are a member' of the House of Representatives?" "Yes, I had the honor to be elected a member of the present Congress." "I. suppose you know Uncle Joe Cannon?" Can-non?" . "Yes. I know him, though I can't say mine is a speaking acquaintance." "I never saw a sleeping car porter so attentive to a passenger as Uiat fellow Is to you. He's at your elbow every minute." min-ute." "Yes. you see I am a coal operator." "What has that to do with It?" "Why, he expects me to give him ten or twelve shares of stock."; However, the csbles haven't told much about Mr. Alice Roosevelt Longworth. " - "Gas" Addicks still says he'll go to'the 3- United States Senate. "Gas" Is the only optimist In his class. - - PLAIN TALES FROM THE HILLS. Several of the young people attended the baptizing at Georges creek last Bun-day, Bun-day, and all report a jolly time. i Okey Thomas has gotten over his scare , and went to see her again. ' I ' We see Curtis is -able to be out again. Net had him at the baptizing Sunday. . We think there will be a wedding over ',