Show happiness depends on honesty in marriage writer advises JEAR T DEAR DORIS DENE I 1 am 10 1 0 twenty nine years old and am in love with a girl who is more mote intelligent tell igent than I 1 am in many ways she is very sensitive and I 1 respect her and love her deeply we have known each other for three years and I 1 have often been unfaithful to her she now wants to know the truth and I 1 am afraid to tell her since I 1 think I 1 may lose her she is absolutely obsessed with the idea of fidelity and something has put a suspicion into her mind I 1 dont know how to handle the situation and want above everything else not to lose her R 11 al ANSWER it the girl is sensitive and imaginative the odds are against her being kept in complete ignorance as to the wild oats you have sown she will meet friends of yours who may be in a reminiscent mood and if youve deceived her with some artistic lying the shock may be greater to her nervous system than you have any idea of there are dozens of times when the truth is far better left unsaid when a calm acceptance of the facts of life is I 1 in order and ihen deception is kinder than cruel fact but bur it if a woman is so s 0 constituted that knowledge of her future husband s infidelities is absolutely necessary to her happiness it if is wiser to take no chances about reading her a book of pretty white lies and so R H M it if your lady demands the whole sad story give it to her now let her know the truth before youve both crossed a bridge its di difficult fr c ul t to since she has insisted on this confession you have no real right to decide that shed much better be lied to T TOM DAI atwould it would be a happy experience for me if I 1 cocu could hand anu out a recipe to people like you whose lives have become completely tangled up with a series of mistakes if I 1 could say comfortably do this and that and you will suddenly find yourself divorced from the wrong girl and married to the right one over and over again these piteous stories come in of misunderstandings and lack of faith which led to hopeless marr marriages i ages and then 0 of reconciliation and love too late and then the eternal cry what shall I 1 do how shall I 1 get out of my marriage which has lasted 14 years and resulted in several children so that I 1 can marry the girl ive always wanted believe me we always have to come back to the same old theme song however dreary the sound of it that unless two people married to the wrong mates can break away cleanly secure a divorce and start life over again there is no happiness nor any hope for the love they bear each other men and women undertake more than just living with each other when they marry they ancon ly sign a contract which is far more binding than it looks when you read the divorce statistics they form form associations and habits together they are bound by a million infinitesimal ties 1 and 4 rid so eten eien when blinded by a great loie late and dazzled by a radi ant hope of happiness they stand back fearful to make the great break and too weak to give up the new hope of happiness and the lite result of that is miserable uncertainty uncertainly for two lovers and the utter demoralization of 0 two wo households since bince affairs of this kind dont stand still tom I 1 should advise you to take some step yourself your infatuation and hers has reached a pitch where very little will be hid bid den from the world in a few weeks you must be strong in one direction or the other you must give up this dream of a new life or else you must give up entirely the old established order of things prepare to do without the life which has meant respectability and campara com para tive contentment for so long 0 B bell syndicate service |