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Show fkl.PhiIlipr GLOBAL CLASSIFIED ADS NOTICE: Change of management. Elegant inn overlooking Alps will reopen soon under new management. manage-ment. Jewish cuisine. Write Berch-tesgaden Berch-tesgaden Catering company for details. de-tails. WILL SWAP: Mein Kampf in all sizes and colors for headache powders, pow-ders, spirits of ammonia, ham sandwich sand-wich or what have you. Fritz, General Gen-eral Delivery, German Empire. JOSEF. What has happened? Prostrated by your sudden coolness. We seemed so happy together until now. Please phone or wire. Winnie & Harry. FOR SALE Emily Post Book oi Etiquette; also "How to Win Friends and Influence Marshals." Might consider con-sider exchange for blunderbus, hotfoot hot-foot and instructions for serving cold cuts. General Stack and Dahlquist, AEF. WOMAN, victim of sad mistake, wishes to make friendly contacts most anywhere with most anybody. Race and creed of no consequence. Germania. TO RENT. One of the most famous fa-mous villas in Austrian Alps; formerly for-merly had southern exposure, but is now exposed 013 all sides and from above; ventilation perfect; all rooms now on same floor; this also goes for the furnishings. Ideal place for a man with a shovel and broom. Phone Berchtesgaden and ask for G.I. Joe. WANTED: Rat and skunk trappers. trap-pers. We give you photograph of Himmler and others; you do the rest. Allied Armies, European Zone. NOBLE ANCESTORS. Yoo hoo! Have I overestimated your influence in the tough spots. Answer at once collect. Nippon. NOTICE. Will person or persons who saw me shoved into an impossible impos-sible position between outgoing and incoming express by an emotional paperhanger in a terrific hurry to get out from under get in touch with me or my attorneys. Karl Doenitz. ANNOUNCEMENT. Numerous high military gentlemen who spent all their hves in murder and destruction de-struction now wish to retire to ways of peace; closing out fine line of struts and swaggers; also used batons, ba-tons, monocles, chest ornaments, etc. Kraut General Staff. SUMMER OFFERING: Doghouses, all shapes and sizes, especially designed de-signed for former dictators, fuehrers, reichsmarshals, rulers of the earth, creators of new social systems, etc. Truman, Churchill & Stalin Corporation. Corpora-tion. VANISHING AMERICANISMS "Prompt Service Inside. "Clothes Pressed While You Wait." "We Aim to Please." "Phone and Get Immediate Attention! Atten-tion! "Come In in a Week for a Try-On!" "There can be no tax cuts until Japan Is licked." President Truman. Tru-man. As soon as that, eh? TOP PROBLEM Momentous is the question that Today afflicts one's reason Oh, will last summertime's straw hat Hold out another season? As we get it, the attitude of the Big Three is "Now that we have been such good chums in war why can't we settle down and become friends?" "Fire in Restaurant Routs 1,000 Diners." Headline. We just don't believe it. We have been observing restaurant crowds lately and it is our conviction no fire could disturb them even mildly in their determination to get fed. The hoseman could walk up to a foursome that has just managed to get a table and cry, "The place is afire! Beat it!" and just get the answer, "Okay. bud. Just play the hose on us while we eat." Ford and General Motors promise a low-cost car "to suit the average purse." Observing the present orsry of spending we would say that this means a new car will be priced at around $8,500. AWAH-H-H! OPA announces hold your breath that it has set ceiling prices on what auto repair stations may charge for jobs on your rapidly de-j de-j teriorating bus. Copies will be post-' post-' ed in all service stations and the j public is asked to insist that f,e ! scale be adhered to. Okay, Mr. Bowles! We are going to buy an Iron helmet, a bazooka, an asbestos vest and, walking right up to our j service station, demand that the boss stick to OPA rates. |