OCR Text |
Show Kathleen Norris Says: Unfaithful Husband Is a Problem Bell Syndicate. WNU Feniurea. "He told our little Sarah Lee that Mommy was just cross and not feeling very well." By KATHLEEN NORRIS FANNY OLIVER is 36. She is handsome, affectionate, capable. She has two sons, aged 12 and 14, and a small daughter. She and Jack Oliver always have lived the fortunate life of millions of Americans beginning simply, sim-ply, sacrificing for home and children, emerging into prosperous pros-perous and comfortable days. Jack has his club Thursday nights; he and Fanny belong to an unpretentious country club. They are hospitable people; peo-ple; their children are a great joy to them. Three months ago Fanny discovered discov-ered that Jack has had a mistress for more than two years. Jack has business interests in three nearby towns. To one of these towns he has made a weekly overnight visit for many years. Sally, to call the other woman that, was for a while his stenographer stenogra-pher in his own town. Then she moved to the most distant of the other towns, where she is assistant office manager. Fanny knows her, of course. Sally always has seemed fond of Fanny's children. To discover that she and Jack were maintaining main-taining a separate establishment was a blow that all but shattered Fanny. An anonymous telephone message gave her the whole story and after the most superficial super-ficial Investigation on her part, both Sally and Jack admitted the truth. That Jack would terminate the affair af-fair instantly and take an apologetic attitude was the least Fanny expected. ex-pected. But Jack has done nothing of the kind. She told him not to come home until he was willing to set things straight. He came home anyway and was agreeable with his children and apparently unruffled by Fanny's grim silences. Nonchalant Attitude. "He told our little Sarah Lee that Mommy was just cross and not feeling feel-ing very well," writes Fanny. "When we are alone and I burst out about Sally, he just says patiently, patient-ly, 'Too bad, dear, I'm sorry you know.' When I demand that he tell me what he plans, insist that he give up that woman, he says quietly, 'No.' "Then you intend to go on living liv-ing with us both.' 'I'm sorry he says, 'but I cannot make any change.' "I immediately- consulted my brother," the letter continues, "asking "ask-ing about a divorce. Paul is fond of Jack. We have had happy times together with our families of chil dren and he is troubled deeply by the situation. He says, of course, I can get a divorce, alimony and my children. But the boys are devoted de-voted to their father. They have only a hazy and indifferent idea of the seriousness of the situation. I have not discussed it and I never blame their father to them. It would break their hearts and little Sarah Lee's heart to be taken away from their father and the home they love. My own life would be but a bitter and frustrated thing. "After 16 years of harmony, companionship com-panionship and confidence, surely this is a cruel awakening. I seem not only to have lost a dear and trusted husband, but something Is gone from my relationship with my children. Sometimes I feel as if I had lost myself, too. The present situation is absolutely Insufferable, but no argument seems to reach Sally was his stenographer ... INFIDELITY What would you do if you suddenly discovered that your husband ivas having an affair with another woman whom he refused to give up after you desperately pleaded ivith him? Fanny Oliver poses this problem to Miss Norris. She is the mother of tivo sons and a daughter. Her married life with Jack was a succession of joys and happy incidents until she received an anony-mous anony-mous telephone message informing in-forming her of Jack's infidel-ily. infidel-ily. When Fanny approached Jack about the clandestine affair, af-fair, he readily admitted that it was true and nonchalantly refused to mend his ivays. Miss Norris sagely advises Fanny to play a waiting game. The mental anguish and heartbreaking heart-breaking agony resulting from a legal settlement would not justify the ends she would achieve. Jack. I am afraid that Just for my own dignity and pride, I will have to leave him." Fanny, I say in answer, sit tight. Don't dream of breaking up your home and going in for a lot of recriminations re-criminations and legal settlements Nine times out of ten. boys of your sons' ages sympathize with Dad rather than Mother, without getting a very clear idea of what it's all about. He's Not Truly- Happy. The chances are that Jack Isn't much happier than you are. He knows he's doing you and the chil dren a stupid injustice, no matter how gallantly he tries to bluff it out ! Your acceptance of the insult with dignity and silence, your concen tration upon your children's lives, your restraint in making no further reference to Sally will have a tre mendous effect. Jack won't like his freedom so much, once he has it without question or reproach. Move into in-to the guest room, keep busy and cheerful and wear out the storm. Once he begins to weaken, weak-en, to tire of Sally's favors and he will, you will hold the tiller. He will explain, apologize and grovel. AH you have to do is still be serene. Of course, your happy confident love as his wife has suffered a deadly blow. But then that has happened, hap-pened, no matter how you solve the problem. So play it high, wide and handsome and take him right off his feet. Don't stoop to anything like retaliation, but when Sally begins to fret him to get a divorce and she will and he begins to wish he never nev-er had heard of Sally, you will have as real a satisfaction as this shabby situation ever affords. One more hint. A man can keep a Sally and have a certain shamed loyalty to a Sally and still want ' yes, and need, depend on, admire and love his wife. These are no years in which to break up any home or disturb the confidence and security of children for any mere personal grievance. Jack is all wrong; Fanny is right. But higher considerations enter tn. Civilization is not built upon- mere cold injustice, but upon character, self-sacrifice and courage. |