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Show 1-173 On the I j Funny Mm Side TO BE FOOLED Vife Now, John, dear, my sister, Bell, and her steady are coming to call 'on us tonight So you must act the part of an Ideally happy married mar-ried man. She's not quite sure of him yet. John (savagely) Leave it to me! That lohster trimmed me in a polcer game once. This is my chance to even matters. Just leave it to me! Border Cities Star. Safe at Last "What is there to console a man (n prison?" asks a lecturer. The thought that he hasn't got to get up in the middle of the night to see if there are burglars In the place-London place-London Humorist. A Self-Starter Doctor Don't let your husband drink strong coffee. It excites him too much. Wife If Ids coffee is not strong, he gets excited of his own accord. Koinische Illustrierte. Was It Monday? The Bosun Why didn't you report re-port those signals from the flagship? The Rookie I thought they were just hanging out their wash. Brooklyn Brook-lyn Daily Eagle. Gob Humor Mess Cook McGarry (at football training table) How did you find the meat? Clemens By looking under the potato. U. S. S. Holland Hollander. Doesn't Bother Him "Jackie, this is terrible. I have to scold you all day long." "Don't worry, mummy, I am not a bit sensitive." Hamburg Hummel. OTHER NRA7 For merchants: N0 i,n counts. Ruinous J For showgoers: No Rak a ' . jor church c,ubs:NoRc, For snappish couples; v ' marks Acidulous. 1 For the wets: No Rotten Ale for girls next door; v0 ,7, , ArIus.-IJc.ston Transcript. C He'. Been Told It , Irate Father-How can that vn man do a day's work after $ J playmg and yoking tilf' Marion-He says four hours' . is all a man needs. Irate Father-Who told him , , a man needs ?-Brooklyn Ea Lack of Interest ! "That stunning blond has -"i looking at you all evening 'i says she wants to meet you" "I know it, but there's not, doing." "Come, old man, you owe hr!l apology." "No, I owe her alimony "-r t Transcript. 00 T " :it improvement (r Tom I want to marry a clrl'r $20,000. k '.;, Dick I shan't marry for nun ' shall marry for brains. ;o' Tom Naturally, we're both it ' what we've least of. Border itf Star. j t; .ji How It's Done "How is it that that wizard " tist at the circus side-show car' 8 teeth so painlessly?" Sa( "A brass band blares out so S ly at the dentist's signal tlia1 audience can't hear the victim ' he hollers." Pathfinder Ma-aj; 0 M No Pride in. He I know where I can Veen good second-hand car for tlire jnn She Oh, Tom ! Would you get hurt in that kind of a car Cor :er Want! Triple FFF Jena "A piano? Yes, sir. A )U piano ?" j ri "Grand nothing. I want 8 w nificent piano." -r, a ; :kot. |