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Show sments Children learn art of selective hearing a grassroots t "" i Copyright i f r- I i,i986 V v" f ' I Becky 1 v I Grass J j Jnson WYs by BECKI GRASS JOHNSON Not only is the audio process "of children baffling, it can down right drive a person crazy. I call it "selective hearing." Children don't hear parents say things like, "Pick up your toys and go to bed." They can't hear you say, "Don't do that one more time!" They won't hear you when you say, "Turn off the t.v., supper is ready." Go, ahead. Say it 50 times. They won't hear you. So why is it then that when the radio is turned up full blast, the dishwasher is chugging away, and the vacuum is roaring, every child in the house can still detect the merry chimes of the ice cream truck three blocks away? I sometimes wonder if the kids don't listen because I nag them too much. I question whether they've heard a single word I've said. I worry that perhaps they really are hearing impaired. But then, when the little angels are tucked in at night and you think they are asleep, you should see them fly out of bed the minute I rustle the potato chip sack. There are several things that cause children to come running from will hear you and let you in. What children can and cannot hear never ceases to amaze me. The minute the telephone rings and I make one move in its direction, I am trampled by bodies in a "flurried free for all" over who is going to answer it. I have sustained head injuries and pulled muscles while wrestling the telephone from the three year-old'. As we tussle with the extension cord, she tells the caller that her mother was a gorilla for Halloween and that the cat had kittens in the closet. By the time I have pried the receiver from her fingers, who ever it was has hung up. On the other hand, if I am in the shower and the telephone rings, it is another story all together. The phone can ring 47 times and no one seems to hear it. I yell things from the bathroom like, "Get the phone somebody!" The phone continues to ring. "Hey, you guys! It's probably the Easter Bunny calling!" That doesn't work either. I have screamed things like "If this family wants to eat supper tonight, some one had better answer that phone!" The phone continues to ring, I finally trudge from the shower, tracking puddles and shampoo through the house just as the phone. rings for the 47th and last time, I have often wondered if "selec-- Jett( tive hearing" is a learned behavior- in children. One evening, attest ir exasperating day, I turned to HOT as we were watching T.V. ''D)ig6oo$ think that when the children .jPfJehrbo what I say, they are exhibiting! learned behavior?" Hubby changed channels and saia, "Huh?" 1 I asked again. "Do you think W the kids' ability to tune me out, conditioned response?" J Hubby mumbled something w missing an instant replay changed channels again. I "Selective hearing" n learned behavior, I concluded." hereditary disorder! , I don't worry abou emg a car accident. I doubt 1 11 succ from heart attack. a My family won't taw to barrassed by the last words J lips. No one will know what m were. They didn't hear them. I will probably die of old age am yelling from the bathroo' another roll of paper. ; every imaginable place in the house. Children can hear, in their sleep, the whooshing sound made by a can of pop being opened. They are adept at zeroing in on sounds made by candy wrappers, burger cartons and cookie sacks. They can hear the chewing of gum two houses away. Just don't ever make the mistake of stepping outside in your bathrobe to fetch the Sunday paper. The baby might lock you out and you could spend the rest of your life pounding on the front door hoping one of them |