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Show ' JUST FOR FUN ' The Tap Test. Proudly the attendant at the County Coun-ty House for the "Mentally Defccllv thowed the band of visitors over the premises. Everything the heart could ceslre was there a gymnasium, hi' liard room, smoking lounge, even a cricket club, which toured tho cour-try cour-try under the title of "Tbo Wanderers."' Wander-ers."' "And this, gents," said the attend-cnt, attend-cnt, opening the bathroom door, "i v. here we test 'em to see if they're fit to let out." 'Oh, and bow do you do that?" In-Quired In-Quired one of the party. "Why, 84r," explained the official, 'wo Jest turn the bath tap fall on, give 'em a bucket and tell 'em to ball the water out." "Still," pursued the perplexed gentleman, gen-tleman, "I don't see how that te9ia j them." "Don't yer, 6lr?' returned the attendant, at-tendant, with some contempt. "W'y, them as ain't barmy turns the water off, of course!" Answers. j Spoken With Feeling. Greatly to the pride and pleasure of his father, Lord Roscberry s sec-end sec-end son, Nell Primrose, was recently elected to Parliament for a division in Cambridgeshire. During the contest, however, reference refer-ence was constantly made to Lord Iloseberry's opposition to the budget, vhlch his son supported.. V. . Op one occasion the-candidate was asked whether this action on the part of his father did not amount to "hitting below the belt." "Exactly," said Mr. Primrose. "But when one's father dues hit one It Is generally below tho bolt." Youth's Companion. One Chance to Lose. ."Now that the Democrats are crow ig over their prospects of winning the Congressional elections," said Representative Butler of Pennsyl-AaDla, Pennsyl-AaDla, the other day, "I am reminded f what good old Ike Hill, assistant frtrgeant-at-arms of the House, used to say on tho eve of an election. Iko was a Democrat through and througa but be was a philosophical Democrat. Demo-crat. "When anybody asked him how he thought tho vote would go he would Invariably reply: "'By Gosh! I think we've got 'cm, If thoy don't buy us off.' " Popular Magazine. No Necessity, John, with grip in hand, was about to depart for a week's stay in tha country. "Now, do promise mo, dear, yo i won't drink a single drop while you aro away from me." "I promise," answered John, as he vent down the step3, "You see, I won't have cause to." lYoung's Magazine. Large, Airy Room. Prospective Summer Boaider -Rather a peculiar apartment. Isn't It? Rural Landlord Well, ye see, I'm Hie town constable, an' the Jail bein' tmpty this time o! year, I thought I night Jest as well make a little ex try money durin' the summer season. sea-son. Puck A Law-Abldlng Child. A health officer recently received the following noto from one of the lesldents of his district: "Dear Sir I beg to inform ou ihat my child, aged S months, Is suffering suf-fering from measles as required by act of Parliament." Tit-Bits. Scriptural Precedent. Jonah stepped ashore. "I left my records In the whale," be observed. "Anybody who wants to see them can go after them." H was noticed that none questioned his exploit. New York Sun. Terrible. "What name?" asked the maid, "Just say to the young lady that George is here,'' answered the caller. "Yls, sor; but if she asks mo which George Is It, what'll I say, sor?" Chicago Tribune. Way It Goes. "I was run over by an automobile diiven by a pretty actress" "Some men have all the luck. Th 3 only time 1 was ever run over was ly a garbage wagon." Kansas City Journal. |