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Show JUST FOR FUN Working Overlm. "I eee you claim an hour's overtime, Bill." said the master of the mill. "How's that? I thought no one worked work-ed overtime last week." Bill passed a horny hand across hla mouth. "Quite right, gov-nor," he replied. "One hour's me due," The master regard him busplc-iouflly. busplc-iouflly. ' Come, when was It?" he Inquired. "Last Thursday," responded Bill. "I was sent up to your own 'ouee to 'elp shake the carpets." "Yes; I remember that distinctly," Cut in the "boss." "But you got off at C sharp." "Ah, that's true, guv'nor, as far as it Koes," absented the man. "But your nJsisus give me 'arf a meat pie to take 'onie, an' that there hour is for bring-in' bring-in' the dish back." Answers. Discipline Must Be Preserved. General Nelson A. Miles tells this story to illustrate the results of carrying car-rying military discipline too far. Thero was a certaiu colonel who, In the middle of a campaign, was seized seiz-ed with a sudden ardor about hygiene. He ordered that all the men change their shirts at once. The order was duly carried out except ex-cept in the case of ono company, here the privates' wardrobes had been pitiably depicted. The captain of this company was Informed that Don? of his men could chango their ehlrts. tlnce they hod only one apiece. When ho reported this fact, the colonel hesitated a moment, then said firmly: "Orders must he oboyel. Lot the men change shirts with one anothrr." Youth's Companion. On the Pension List. Colonel W. P. Brownlow, secretary of the National Soldiers' Home, said at a dinner In Brownsville, Tenn.: "They are great wags, the old soldiers sol-diers in our Johnson City home. I heard ono of them describe the othr day a very fierce and famous action. Two hundred men had been pitted against 300 men, and after the fight ing only sixty bravo fellows thirty on each side remained alive. "The old eoldler paus&d solemnly. '"Of that sixty, boys,' he said, there only survive today "Overcome, he blew his nose violently. vio-lently. " There only survive today, by actual ac-tual statistics, 417.'" lyiuiavllle Times. Not Very Accurate. Senator Root at Senator Dpew's farewell dinner in his honor in Washington, Wash-ington, said, anent his coming European Eu-ropean tour: "Well, I hope I'll gather over there moro accurate information than that which Lady Salisbury's housekeeper used to give her American visitors. "Lady Salisbury had a housekeeper who, In shoeing American and other visitors over Salisbury Castle, would always pause before a painting' of Catherine de Medici and say: " 'This lovely painting Is a portrait of Catherine de Medici, sister of Venus Ve-nus de Medici.' " Washington Star. Simplified Spelling. "Why did you take Elmora away from school, Aunt Mahaly?" a lady I asked her cook one day. Aunt Mahaly I snlfffd scornfully. " 'Cause the teacher ain't satisfac-, satisfac-, tory tuh me, Mis' Malty. What you reckon she tell dat ihllo ylstlddy? She 'low dat IV spell four, when even n Id jut 'ud know that it spells Ivy." Youth's Companion. The Ax. Studio Bore (patronizingly) I think those thistles in your foreground are superbly realistic, old chap. 'Pon my word, they Reem to he nodding in the breeze, don't you know? Ungrateful Artist Yes; I've, had one or two people tell rno that they would almost deceive an ass. Exchange. Ex-change. An Accompaniment of Fame. "I have just been reading Boswell's teminlscences of Dr. Johnsou," said the bookish man. "What'" exclaimed the man who Is not bookish. "Has some college given the colored puflllst a degree already al-ready ?" Washington Star. |