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Show JUST FOR FUN Out of the Way. Mrs. Gotham You arc going down town, are you not? Mr. Gotham Yes, my dear. rg- g. Well, 1 wish you'd drop into Sllke, Ribbon & Go's, on your wav and match the Mrs. G. (hurriedly) I've got to see Jones, and that will take- me some distance from Sllke, Ribbon & Co.'s Mrs. G. Well, Mr. Jones office i8 only a short distance from the Imported Im-ported Finery Bazar, and that will do Just as well. Take this and ask Mr. G. (hastily) After leaving Jones, I must see Smith, who Is in the opposite direction from the bazar, you know. Mrs. G. No. matter. Cheape, Bargain Bar-gain & Co. will do. They are near Smith's. , . Mr. G. But I've got to take a roundabout way to Smith's in order to see Brown. Can't pass Cheape, Bargain Bar-gain & Co.'s my dear. Mrs. G. (impatiently) H'h! Where are you going after you leave Smith's? Mr. G. (helplessly) I'm going up in a balloon. New York Weekly. He Just Simply Asked. An orator with long whiskers was eloquently making a free silver speech. "Gents." paid he, "our country's coun-try's welfare demands that silver be kept at its face value. If the government gov-ernment marks a dollar a dollar it follows that it must be worth 100 cents." '"Excuse me may I ask a simple question?" spoke up a man in the rear of the hall. "Certainly, sir," said the orator. "Then," sald the man. coming forward, for-ward, "if the government marked your whiskers hay would a mule eat them?" Ladles' Home Journal. Rockefeller's Best Story. Rockefeller's favorite story Is about two Irishmen, who were discussing him and his wealth. Rockefeller tells It as follows: "Do you know," said Pat to his friend, "that this Rockyfeller la the richest man in the world?" "Yez don't say!" answered Mike. "Yis, he Is, and Ivry tolme that clock ticks off a minute ho Is $1,000 richer." "Ee Jabbers," replied Mike, "git me an axe and Ol'll smash the clock." The Real Thing. "Oh, May! Jutu and Bill fought a duel over me!" "How romantic! What happened?" "It was terrible. I came Into tho room and those foolish boys were pointing pistols at each other!" "Pistole? Heavens! Were they loaded?" load-ed?" "Not a bit. Thoy were both sober!" Cleveland Leader. Prevention. "Do you believe that muslo prevents crime?" "To a certain extent," replied Mr. Slnnlck. "When a man keeps both hands and his breath busy with a cornet cor-net you know he can't be picking pockets, attempting homIcid9 or slandering his neighbors." Washing ton Star. Modern Advantages. . Little Evelyn had received many pretty birthday gifts. "I think you are a fortunate little girl," said her aunt. "When I was a little girl I was thankful to get even one birthday birth-day present." "Oh. dear," replied Evelyn, with a shudder. 'Tin glad I didn't live in Bible times." Nuf Ced. "Now, professor, you have heard my daughter sing, tell me -what I ought to do with her?" "Sir, if I told you what you ought to do with her the law would hold me a6 an accessory." Houston Post. A Fallen Idol. "What makes you so sure the American Amer-ican public Is fickle?" "The reception a player who used to be on tho home team gets when he comes vlsitlug;' Washington Star. |