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Show Dorothy Dix Talks I WOMEN AND WEDDINGS Bv DOROTHY DIX, the World's Highest Paid Woman Writer Why are mothers always anxious to hays their daughters marry, and loath to havo their sons marry? There's never any trouble, at. a wedding wed-ding to tell which is tho bride's family, fam-ily, and which tho bridegroom's. The wriest stranger could pick out which Is which without the slightest rhancn lof making a mistake. Th bride's inother is wreathed In smiles nnd j wears tho complacent and trlnmph-'atit trlnmph-'atit air of the eat that has Just eaten tho canary, while the bridegroom's mother has the depressed and done-for done-for expression of the lato deoeased bird. I'rom the tinrjo a r jr 1 baby is born Iter mother begins t. plnti fpi her vfoddlng. She holds marriage up before be-fore tho girl o.s the Chief aim and Mid or a woman's life. While daughter Is still In pigtails. F, begins cultivating callow kids with a weather eye tr thdr being possible futuic BOn-irirlawSi in n they groft up And when the girl finally makes herj debut, thothei rolls up her sleeves rind, y.i- on the husband hunting Job In I earnest, and never rests until she sit.sl bar-k with a titth of contentment in I the front row In church, and listens, to tho wedding march, that to her is: a paeon of victory. For it marks h i j triumph in getting Mamie, or Sadie j married. Far otherwise does a woman feci about her son's marriage. She doesn't, tout matrimony to him She warns, him against It, and she keeps him out Of It as long as she can. She doesn't .encourage young girls to come around, the house unless they are so homely, and hopeless she knows son couldn't; be hired to show them anj atlfentiohJ IShe picks a thousand flaws In every 'maiden son fancies, and whan; at l ist I In spite of all mother fan do to pre-j . v-nt it. son gets married, the wedding' J bulls ring dirges in her heart. I Gf course mothers will deny tlicsei (Statements, but they are true, never- jthclcss. Else why does the mans, mother always wekp at a wedding,) while the girl's mother wears the grin that won't come off? Yet one would think the reverse of this would be tho case. One would, think that every' woman who had, her-; self, known wifehood, and mothei-' I hood, w ith all that they Inevitably i lining of risk, and suffering and sor- j row, and anxiety to a woman, would: hold her little daughter back from the altar almost us she would hold her back from death itself, if the could. For in marriage it is women who take their lives and then happiness in t heir i bands, and chance it all on having got the right man instead of a rounder, lor a husband. They do not know, as a man knows, What they are marry-, inw. And their mothers are so anx-t lous to get them married they do not look the gift-horse in tho mouth, or even ask for his pedigree and record Of past performances. Strange and incredible in-credible that a mother onid te par- j ticular about the character of the girl . her son marries, and utterly indifferent indiffer-ent as to the character of tho manj her daught r marries! A mother albo knows how completely complete-ly a woman's life is in her husband s hands, and how easily he may break her heart, and make her miserable. He need not bo a bad man to do it 1 1 e I may be as moral as the- Ten Commandments, Com-mandments, yet wreck his wife's hap-; piness by stinginess, by temper, by sur-i iinets, by utter lack of tc-ndernes, and understanding No man with a mean wife, is In as hard luck as the woman with a mean! husband, because the man has his ca-1 reer. his outside Interests, lu can get! away from his wife, but the woman Is bound to her home, and its Ipter-J esls, and she must find her content with life there, or else miss it entirely. entire-ly. Knowing, then, how much greater risks her daughter runs in marriage than hoc son, why does a woman drive her girls to marry, and ht-r boys to iVa- single? The old answer ued to be that, matrimony was a matter 6' money SO far as girls were concerned. Pare.hts wished to shift their expense on hu-' bands, arid inveigle aOm'e man into) Supporting them. This argument hasi no force now. In practically every family in these days, where a daughter's daugh-ter's meal ticket and clothes cut any I figure, the girl is self-supporting by tin time she is old enough to be married. mar-ried. Sh? not only is not a financial drain on the family purse. lut she contributes to It far more liberally than does her brother. Another reason given for mothers d siring their daughters to marry, but not their sons, is voiced In the old saw that Says, ''MS son's my son "till he gets him u wife, but my daughter's my daughter all of her life." Undoubtedly this is tru.- to a large extent. Women soldfsm go Co their I husband's Camiliea Men nearly always al-ways go to their wives' families. It is the dauphteis who care for the old parents and more men aro supporting support-ing their in-laws than are taking care of their own fathers and mothers, t But I think that tho reasons mothers moth-ers feel 5-- differently about theil son's and daughter's marriage is because no woman ever iiulte loves her daughter as she does her son. Between mother! and daughter is the repulsion of the same si-;:. Between mother and son Is the attraction of difference in sex. Mothers and daughters clash becausa their interests and occupations are the same. Mothers and sons live in harmony har-mony because their lives flow in separate sep-arate channels. Besides, a mother understands un-derstands that the love her daughter gives a husband Is not the love she gives her mother but no- wotmn can comprehend that her son gives his wife a different affection from that hs bestows upon his mother. Thus it is that mothers are consumed with a frantic and futile jealousy When they sec the manchild the) have borne arid worshipped, putting another woman (efore them in their hearts. Tho chief reason, however. why women are eager to marry off their daughters Is because they are still bound by the old superstition that a girl Is somehow safe and sheltered fipm the storms of life when she gets married, Much evidence to tho con-trary con-trary does not $ecm to shake this childlike faith in matrimony, though probably no two weddings In a hundred hun-dred en, like the fairy tale "and they lived happily ever after." Possibly mother's own marriage ic nothing but a bitter warning against the perils of tho holy estate, nevertheless never-theless she is eager to hae her girls try It on the off-chance they may happen hap-pen to draw a prize In the lottery and not a blank. Very often a woman offers of-fers up her daughter as a living sacrifice sacri-fice to her pride. Sho feels that there li a certain stigma to her daughter being ;n old maid that it shows that the girl lacked charms and attractions that other girls possess, and so she nags the poor creature Into marrying the first man who comes along. Many women frankly say that a bad marriage is better than no marriage mar-riage at all. They have no idea of life apart from domesticity, und Imagine Imag-ine the woman without a husband and children arc miserable. They do not know that it is only the exceptionally exceptional-ly fortunate married woman who la as happy, as prosperous, and as free as her unmarried sister, who has her career, her good Job, her financial independence, in-dependence, and her million and one interests in the world. No one can argue for a moment that the kind of marriages that are made in heaven the real mating of a man and woman whom God Intended for each other, and who give to each other oth-er a love, and sympathy, and comrade-hip that never fail is tho happiest hap-piest lot in life. If every mother iould secure that for her daughter, (ho would be right in making every effort to get it for her. But why Want her to marry, Just to be a-marrying? And if the rewards of the Ideal mar-Irage mar-Irage are so great, why not be equally keeu on them for son',' Nobody know-. Not even the mother moth-er herself. She only knows t hat us she bends abo e Mamie's cradle she Is deciding that she will have her married mar-ried In brocaded whito satin, n.id real lace, and that as sho walks Tommy With the colic she Is hating the unborn un-born girl who will some day be his wife. For that's the way with mothers. |