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Show When a holiday falls on a weekend week-end grade crossings work overtime. This year has added umbrellas and raincoats to the necessities of life. There Is one really International word today. That word Is "dollar." A "hick" town Is one where there are only three Ailing stations to a block. This hurts me more than It does you," said a father to the rug he was beating. Meanwhile the man who Is captain of his soul will order his next winter's coal early. Women are now wearing their hair short They don't wear It any particular particu-lar way long. Just what have the young ladles who carry swagger sticks got to swagger about? One thing that can be said of ths army worm is that It knows no such word as retreat. Between a gabby barber and a fair customer getting a bob, who Is entitled to the last word? The man who thought of air navigation navi-gation probably was an autolst trying try-ing to find a place to park. It seems to be an appropriate time for springing the old wheeze about disarming General Humidity. By the time that bobbed-hair bandit completes her ten-year sentence they may be wearing It pompadour. The scientist who Insists that nobody no-body Is altogether sane Is necessarily taking himself Into account also. There Is also the young woman who will wash the dog but who wouldn't wash dishes for a million dollars. A straw hat to withstand rain Is announced. an-nounced. But why doesn't somebody bring out one that won't sunburn? A number of women have been made soviet generals. Oh, well I They should be used to the smell of powder. This will probably be remembered In history as the season when women's wom-en's stockings came In such ugly colors. "Walk for your complexion," woman's page advises. It becomes necessary when the drug store won't deliver it One of the saddest sights of nature Is a Smart Aleck of eighteen trying to give the impression that be la a hard-boiled hard-boiled egg. Washington reports a drop In living costs, but sayr nothing about the possibility pos-sibility of any slump In vacation expenditures. ex-penditures. The Insanity pleas offered In mod- era murder cases constitute a dreadful dread-ful libel against the occupants of the Insane asylums. It does no harm for a man to think he's running the government if they don't let him slip Into some little old utiles and act that way. The Chinese are protesting to Tokyo against Chinese exclusion In Japan. Bveu the Orientals haven't gotten oriented on the question. To show how speedy It can be, the divorce mill sometimes turns out engagement en-gagement announcements even before it grinds out the divorces. |