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Show j Dorothy Dix Talm j By DOROTHY DIX, the World s Highest Paid Woman iW SELF vs. FAMILY The most difficult question on earth to settle is how much one owes to one-self, one-self, and how much to one's family. Possibly it Is one of the problems that ",n ever dn-- solve satisfactorily, for no answer Is ever juat tho right answer to the riddle. Your guess al-1 al-1 ways seems the wrong guess, and no ! matter which course you take, you are I apt to wish thud you had taken the i other one. j Of course, to those with an in-' in-' growing, or to those in whom the do-j do-j m OS tic affections are very strongly devolpcd. the first Impulse la to lin-molate lin-molate themselves un tlx- family ai- tar. They sacrifice theh lives, their happiness their talents, their ambition-, everything, to their husband i or wives, or their parents, or their children or their brothers and sie- i tors. They do not feel that they have ! any duty to themselves, or any right 1 to their own lives They consider I that they were created merely t' be I the slaves of their families, and to spend their lives ministering to others, oth-ers, and doing the work that others are too lazy and trifling to do. And the family always accepts the sacrificial goat. Let any member ot a family show a willingness to be a burden bearer, and he or she will soon find the whole family load dumped on his or her shoulders Let any member of a family deny himself or herself to give to the others, and ho or she will bo held up and robbed ruthlessly of every penny Let any member of a family begin putting others before himself or herself, and ho or she will be permanently reb-gated reb-gated to the back seat. This Is not because families Intend to be unduly cruel to the poor family martyr On the contrarv, they real ly are fond of the one they are persecuting, per-secuting, but It Is one of life n tittle Ironies that wo treat those we love worse than wc do those we hate, nnd that the closer wc arc to people, the less consideration we show them Also it is a porfeetlv natural and human hu-man thing to walk all over the person who makes a doormat of himself or herself, before you. Now abstractly self-abnegation, and the putting of others before ones. If is a very wonderful and beautiful, and shining virtue The only trouble with It Is that It ruins those upon1 whom it is practiced, and that it seldom sel-dom accomplishes any good end Nine-nine sacrifices out of a hundred are absolutely useless, and harm rather rath-er than help those for whom they ure made Iook about you and observe how selflessness works out In reol life Look at the man who works himself to death for his family. He never takes a holidav He never indulges himself In any pleasure He i always al-ways on his Job. night nd day. making mak-ing money for his family to spend In extravagant living- They have fine clothes. They have automobiles. They travel. The children go off to col-ort col-ort ;il ctfr. ....... ...... , . t. , o- iii in societv He Is nothing hut a bill payer Did you ever know a man of that kind whose wife really loved him or whose children had any affection for him. or pride In him? Never. Did you ever know the children of that kind KM1'," t0 tUn oul to b anything but wasters and spenders? You did not Doesn't your own common sense tell you that If such a man had ht"J?ht" of "'""'elf more, and his octtcr for all concerned? It Is the women who bear their part of the family burden, not the parasitic woman, who are dev. .ted wlveV f i the children who knovv what it Is to rdwomhemak ,fo ES cakes and pies better thtSH ! cook's; w ho wears the casi-oftiH family, end eat-- tin n?ck ,.id l&H '(if Hp- lib k'-o, ami the tOSgH the chops, w ho 9'ts up halt tl -wing tha Mamie m ijr hH many tucks in her petticotiH '.b ei- i " n I ::, -i tip tOCS Sfl duing the housework of a tsV so as ., I,.' u from v. tktag gS Did you ever know that kisfl woman v h" had a hust-and SH proud of her. or wanted to tsH ; about with him or who dldsH her with contempt? Did JH 1 know- that kind of a mothSB Children ever showed her aftJH . ration You iuv"r did. XobOSM Tlo n lui-'o hu?btg children Live .md admire tMH th" ...vert ho demand ifl themselves, and who make tSH II les (;o llftv-fil'tv With thfgH p'To,llN)tr s life, as Vll MH s And I''-, perfectly loCH I husband and . h.l.hen ire ( I love a woman they don't rnpsH v ou i r.'S,,', t any humtsH who h.i-n'i back l.one enougB , up for his rights. J The most piteous sacrlNesjB those which noble hearted irMBjB men make to a.'. r.nd hrlplaH man iv ho hi- the niakinf OfjH in hloise'f fi"-ve up IM portunltles the big world ofnH tay .it home and help fulB . the pul.Krie V W.: -Ine?, da' .borer or-, on :he oMflV A gifted "ir! vlver- up nerlBV roor or sacrlfiiw imirriaff, SV mother's rheumatism, or n tifl I Of her orphaned nieces and iHa land their sacrifices are In VHJ b..raus. If th'-v had foHoWSmBJ own destines thn could Ulfmm helped tho-. '.!,. -a-ere trvlaf-Bj But wo can nevrr settle thBM of what we owe to our ev"isBW wo ow e to others until we koOfrnVl most vaiualil". we t-unnot know until l'Bj Dorothy Iiiv s rtlrlej Pl'jJ every Momlar, W nnd Friday m |