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Show V 'LL A Better Understanding. "Do you il.lnk yim will III ma JufI aa well." .he ake.t. "wl-n I tell you my hulr In iiveil ?'' "Yea. ili-nr," aimwiTi-d her eMerly lover. "I ha-.p l-m.wn It all the tiino. Will you think any Hie lens of me when I roiifii-. that my hulr la a wig?" "Not at all. I knew It wan, the flmt time I ever naw you." After whleh ihe hilling and eoolng went on with even greater tenderncas than before. The Woea of Cupid. "Men la aho' fleklit." eald Mitt Miami Mi-ami Ilrnwn. "Iioy goea baek on you on de allghtrat provocation." "What't been happenln'T" asked Mlna Ollna Jefforaon Tompklna. "Mr. Mantua I'lnkley rome aroun' try-In' try-In' to klta me, an' ao aa not to teem too wlllln' an' audaeloui, 1 .manned 'lm wlf a flatlrun, an' )ea' foh dat he Jilted me." Ootclaaaed. The heaillonn horaouian waa recently recent-ly observed standing on the Tarry-town Tarry-town bridge. "Ureal Heolt!" he exclaimed, aa an antornobllii whirled by. "I'm out of flnto. The proper thing la to be a htiravleaa hendnnian." Just then the rliH'k, atriiek twelve, and he Jumped Into tho crv k with a howl of donpiilr. Organized Labor. "Ton are not a worklnmnan." anld Uie curbntono orator, "ur you wuuldn't talk that way." "You are wrong, air!" flprruly answered an-swered th. man who had Interrupted him. "I am a member of a Drowning club, and If an Institution of that kind lan't organised labor, I dun't know what It la!" A HOT COME-BACK. Weary I'm afraid I'll Injur, my teeth If I ent this pie. Kind Lady 1 11 lot you understand, air, that 1 made pie before you wor. born. Weary Thla muat be on. of them. No Embarraaement. "I It true that I'lker I financially vmbarraaaed ?' "He la awfully In debt, but It doeant teem to embarrass him any." A HOT ONE, Ixird Pe llroke You have aw nn natural curiosities aw over henh? Mlaa Cutting Illuti No; w. Import them. Not a Ploatura Trip. "1 auppotn you an let me have a decent room for a few daya," auld tho Kaatern man. "Hiiro, for aa long aa you want to ft&y" replied the Chicago hotel cierK. "I'll need It lonccr than that. I don't waut to sin) In this town ten minutes, but I'll have to stay a week at lout." Aa Others See Us. Tat rid yet Iver notla how thltn Oytallana aro nflhcr wavln' Iholr hunda an' shnkln' ave their heads whin they're tulklu'T Mlko Kallh nn' Ol hove. Th.it do be th' only way tho Jablierln' fnrrlners ran mako alch othur underntliand. I'hwat they'ro tulklu' about, b'gurry, 1 dunuo. Wild Que... "There, thank the atara. that'a the lu.t load! lly Jvc, I hope we don't have to move analn for 2U years!" "lxiok, Ooorge there' a man with a camera! Bee, he la aottlng It up. What do you auppose he wnnta?" "Oueaa he' after moving picture, my dear." Between Friend. Clara Mr. Clumsily paid me a queer compliment last evening. Maude What waa It? Clara fie eald I reminded him of ugnr. Maude Well, dear, you certainly have your share of tand. In the Crowded Car, "Biiueeie along a little, will your "Don't you toe I'm right up against a big. fat man?" "That'a why I aUe.l you to squeeie along. He can bt compre.niHl u.-Wrly a foot more. Bnueeiu aloug " In After Ytart. Wife "You once suld 1 waa the only woman In the world." Husband "Yes. and I ought to havo beau aeut to an ltinane asylum before It was everlastingly too late." Sparkling Sermon. 1 Moband-I don t believe you heard a wonl of the nernion today. You were looking the whole tlmn at the diamond, ihut woman In front of us wore. j Wire Well, there are sermon In atones, you know. I'ui-k. 1 Got In Too Late. Ilrlcgs "I did not aee you at rhurch lant ftunilay " llrngga "No; I didn't get In until you hud gone to aleep." Two Points of Vltw. I "You can never tell what will turn up In polltlct," observed th. ward l.eeler. "Yea, that lan't the worst of It," rejoined re-joined the ei-caudldule. "You can never trll who will be turned down." Quite Friendly. "When I want to borrow a dollar, I never go to a friend," ho said, aa If he were leading up to something. "Ah! well." replied the othur, rx-lendlug rx-lendlug hi hand, "let u be frlenda." The Worm Turns, Utile Tnmpl.ln Ion hln dlrnlty. Vnrle. I've I n a good husband to you all the;e .:! m. have been putlcllt. and hnve put up with every homll'a-thin, homll'a-thin, but." fiercely. ' 'he worm has ! turned at ln-t you nhnll not hnve wiy ' son's trousers cut down for me. Ouaranteed Cur. "la hard cider a temperance drink V ask the visitor of the farmer who la pouring th. apples Into th. elder press. "It Is." say th. farmer, while a reminiscent smile flit across hi face. "It Is. I reckon that after a man sober so-ber up off of hard elder h. la fuller of remorse and readier for th. pledg. than after aurroundln' almost any other oth-er kind of Juy producer." Vicinity Counted. "I have come to th. city with my on, who la about to enter th. loft rhool. The II rut thing la to find a hoarding plaie. Ho you know any place that you can recommend?" "Well, no, not ne:ir tho law arhool. Hut 1 know a good plueo near th. niedlial school." "Indeed? Then I II have hlin study mcillcitie." a The Wise Deacon, "Dcaeon," began the old colored parson, "do yuu obeh say '(lit behind me, Sutnn?' " "No. bruilduh, Ah do not." said Deacon Dea-con (Ireen. "i:f Ah told HaUtn to git behind me he mli'.ht stick me when Art wa n't luokln'. Ah keep him right In front whnh Ah kin aen blm." Unfortunate Remark. 11. (pleadingly) Why cau't w. b. married right away? Bho (coyly) -Oh, I can't bear to leave father alone Just now. Ilo (earnestly) Hut, my darling, he has hud yuu such a very long time. Bhe IfrcezliiKly) Sir! The New Potter Clrl. "Mint Serelrnf suy that the was called 'The Poster Cilrl at the resort where she npent the summer," r marked MuiiiIp. "Very appropriate," replied Mamie. r "Bhe was up auulnst the wall moat ot the tlmo, I noticed." A TIP FOR HIM TO 00 HOME. tTT Kdlth Hint You must not play with Mr. Ilorrm'a new hat, Willie. Willie Why not? Kdlth Hints You might hurt It or lote It, and he'll waut It In a few minutes, , Really Unkind. Softlelgh "Yaw, foh two whol. y I aw wa alon. on th. bound-lens bound-lens pwalwlo alone with m thoughts, donchcr know." Mis Cutting Poor fellow! How you rtust have suffered fiem ennnl." A Fatal Case. "All la at un end but ween us." .aid the haughty maid with the lemon-tluted lemon-tluted hair. "My love for you la dead." "Another cneu of heart failure, eh?-j eh?-j urled the young man In th. cane. |