Show Historic Britain Is IsA A Different Picture Castles Dukes Monarchs Curfews and Their Traditional T Traditional radi- radi High Spots of English Life Have Passed Passed- Rare Roast Beef and Luscious Fruit Come from prom U U. S. S S and Curfew Replaced By New York Jazz Band By Dy II JESSIE JESSin JES IE rime fhe New cw Yorker Abroad i Special Dispatch to The Stand Stand- Examiner ard-Examiner Copyright 1927 1127 Consolidated Press Association LONDON LO DON April 2 You 2 You or orten orten ten cn million Americans ns who are aro expected ex expected ex- ex expected to bounce soon onto the tho shores of Britain with one bil bil- billion billion lion dollars of or vacation money in your our fists I ts aro are In for a n. general shaking up of ot your pre conceived Ideas about England Ins Do you expect to see a castle on every other hillock a monocle In every other eye a n duke in ev ev- every every ery cry other taxicab Rare flare old English Eng Eng- English English lish roast beef see sec current fic lie fiction fiction tion apple cheeked checked milk maids in lanes full of ot tho the rather prim prim- primrose primrose rose roso see sec Shakespeare curfews tolling toiling the knells of at parting days see seo Elegy a n. huge whale of ot a turret called the tower ot of Lon Len Lendon London London don tho the best dressed d men in the world thatched roofed Inns with fires roaring on the hearth a a. pub on each corner a tub In each room and ond not a a. snitch of humor from the tho Shetland to the Scilly Clot Clot- Clotted Clotted ted cream luscious fruit fruit but but but en en en- ough ouCh More Moro than enough Its It's all nil wrong TRADITION SHAKEN KEN For a stab at tho the very ery heart of cherished tradition Both castles and monocles are alro on the decline and no new ones seem to be In process of at manufacture though here and there a n. surviving sur men still gladdens the tho face ot or na na- nature ture The decline of the monocle Is 15 due to Its talent for tor getting stepped on The decline of the tho castle is due duo to senile decay and new workmen Since the British stone atone mason has so arranged arran ed mat mat- matters matters matters that It Is Illegal for tor him hint to tolay tolay tolay lay more than a n. few tew stones per week the castlo owner sees seM his battlements fall aU down faster taster than titan they can be propped up And you'll catch an American in every other taxi but not a duke A glanco glance at the meter will explain this Moreover Moreo rare old English roast beef Is right theres there's nothing rarer thanks 5 to Chicago and the Argentine Ar If H you dis ills discover discover cover a milkmaid maid in a n. lane shell she'll be an nn electric one in a n. lane Inne fill fill- filled ed with more motor cars than primroses The knell of or parting day doy Is U tolled by a a. Jazz band from New No York Wl U SUSPENDERS Ha Un What's that square factory with the four little cupolas The Tower of or London my dears I ears And n 1 what's that Dont Don't be he frightened that Is a well dressed d English English- man Its It's good goods to be sure lIure but if a n. suit isn't throe three times too big it doesn't cIo nt fit Those funny funn things that Kato huo h c slid 1 down don n under his coat sleeves are armlet of or elastic like dear grandpa used useLl to year wear and if IC hed he'd only remove his hi vest wo we w could coult see that hat his trous trous- trousers trousers ers enl arc are held up under his arm arm- armpits armpits pits by Now about these Inns Inn's with thatched thatch d roofs roofs roofs-It If you OU can locale one they the hold the damp and sup sup- support support port tho the Investors of ot cures for lor rheumatism And Its lis usually the guest who Is roaring on the hearth the fire doesn't do ditto until you e paid from a n. quarter to 75 cents extra The Tho pub is sUll still on on the corner and open when war wartime wartime time rules permit Tho The tub is half halt halfa a mile down a bleak corridor and bring your our own soap Bring your our own clotted cream too unless youre you're spending 81 the summer in Devonshire And if It you'd like some t fine tIne luscious fruit you'll find It at the grocers grocer's In American cans Perhaps youre you're planning to take a n. house In the country Dont Don't forget then that running hot wa wa- water water water ter comes when the chambermaid runs upstairs with it There isn't any an Ice box what would you ou Did Queen Elizabeth ElIzabelh have an Ice box Consequently there is t any an Ice ice- man mo Why Wh then come to England say you jou its it's the most res ul country on this th fevered earth to to- to day Because Its It's honest cour cour- courteous courteous and aware ot or the tho neigh neigh- neighbors neighbor's neighbors neighbor's neighbors neighbor's bors bor's rights Because Its It's packed with history like a n. watermelon with seeds Because Its It's pervaded by a n sense of ot humor subtle and delicious Because the tho gorse Is a yellow ellow flame on tho heath and till the heather is 11 a mauve mauva cloud on the tin cliffs above o tho the sea Because Because- oh v. v v ell because its it's England |