Show I A PL Protect Man Vr J I f et i ie e a I It t 1 f a Ae g ae Vyt r I II r I Y Yr Yr ir q r rt rt t s 1 rt sl y t J I I II ail 1 I 1 r I IT T 1 1 I 4 1 I I t 4 I II 1 i u i k ry 4 f fill filli 4 6 i I a is Je r t i 1 b t s y I Ir r t l r a ti i st t N I IN A view in a movie theater as it will look iF young Mr Firth Firths idea u is carried out V Handcuffs Armor and Oiher Novel i gj e ep sr ie f 34 p u A e b dons d ons for Preventing k 0 e t firs f nl 0 Their Being Accused z of Undue Interest y b r I II is d dr dr the Women I r r ea r Sitting 4 k k jp n Next to Them at Pe Per r 2 Y 0 31 i 1 41 athe the r I u rr y xe 1 i a r a II f d I I nn q n 1 l r r sImple place for 4 fir t do droner do you 3 1 asked ask ed but I r hk rJ 0 ti 1 e t j I she sho had hac hung I i I up I i Jv 3 x 8 s d f 0 j That was I 4 tt 1 disturbing but fA the neat ne t day I ze when hen I receIved p I I e of t j x t Y i n na a most terrible I 4 pv w letter from her herI I I r v A sia r rr r k t J 5 father r ut w Ma 7 e fir you Joung I e w- w y s y v a at ar t A r 1 4 c puppy and end end- end gars dare If s up you l x pG 4 s 1 d f f Ka 1 up to marry cur daughter before i M s she IS twenty twenty- i ir Clinton Futh her mother r a fie K f fone one plan for protecting his and I WIll cut cuther fellow men from unscrupulous or too emotional women her off with a awas was born of his own recent embarrassing experience dollar w h y SS ELVA WALLACE was sit sit- sitting sitting M MISS ting at the mo ies in a dim theater in New York City with Ith her bare arm extended along the back backof backof backof of the empty chair beside her After n a afew afew few minutes Mr Clinton Firth young attractive and alone entered and took the vacant seat beside Miss Wallace At that Miss Wallace withdrew her bare and shapely arm from the chair where hele I it t rested Mr Firth beheld the movement and smiling graciously inclined hit hi head in a gesture of civility and begged the lady no not to disturb her arm Now ordinarily this simple simpio request would not have led to aast a vast Last chain cham of large and embarrassing events for the young man But in this case the sImple request did for hardly had the words e escaped Mr Firths Firth's mouth please dont don't dIsturb your arm than Miss Wal Wal- Wallace Wal- Wal Wallace Wallace lace shot out her hand smacked Mr Firth sharply upon his shapely cheek with the full force of her stiffened palm and then broke into an indignant ques ques- questIon question question tion t How dare you Insult me sir Miss Wallace asked of lI Mr lIr r Firth as soon as she ahe had administered the spontaneous physical chastisement Now as any sym sym- sym r reader ader of these pages ages mu must t agree if this had been all Miss Wallace did to Mr Firth it would have been quite enough In fact it would halo o fully enlightened Mr Firth as as to Miss Wallaces Wallace's sentiments toward to him But thIs was only the beginning of the stress stress- stressful stressful ful steps Miss Wallace took for tor in the tho next moment she dashed from her seat out to the street and returned accompanied accompanied panted by two ho sympathetic and puffing I 1 policemen We arrest you in II the nam I of tho 1 laws law said the policemen What did I dot do ask asked d Mr lIr firth rrth I Iwas c c was only polite to the lads lad al alI I I J 11 i 1 yr S s F Fd d then You You insulted her ar t luck of the proverbial that's what Sou JOU vou did reI rees re- re reV remarked V es attractive young man marked one 0 of f the of of- of Beers ati was mine I didn't leers and dont don't you say anything s tl z f a ea I want to marry many that anything no tore more Savo Save it z girl but as Miss Vial Vial- Wal f It for the judge L a ac r y lace she had forced me meSo So in short order they rode Fb r r ry y s into a very compromising rode off to the police station 1 v c i iy iy y M y tz v S 11 a situation and to court Miss court Miss Elva w v p r And EO so having met ox- ox f ex-f Wallace Mr bar Clinton Firth y y even before I met mety and flu the two patrolmen jav 11 The A sequel 1 01 u c 1 f fw w j v e b b Liss Wallace on that painful day dayall all who ho read the papers remember I have a few sug suggestions Adams y at t the he movies Judge Ra Rayfield field of the Adams y a a p y r t to offer for the Sheet Police Court in Brooklyn w of men in movie theaters s young dismissed the thc case with Ith a compliment to tok k q I 1 would suggest far for instance that MIss Wallace y j 9 1 hn i be installed in Ladies Ladles as beautiful as you he told her mu must t expect to be bo a temptation to ardent and impressionable young J oung men menThe The defendant here saw your charms but he did not realize that you ere militant Next case officer 1 So Miss Wallace and Mr Firth left court each dissatisfied For Miss Wal Wal- Wallace Wallace Wallace lace announced that she bhe had not received Justice she she wanted something to be done to Mr Firth Mr Firth Futh announced that maybe maJ be some folks might say any that he had hal triumphed in that he had not been fined or punished or sent to j jail ll or anything but that he considered he bore away a 01 hollow victory VIC VIC- VICtory vic victory tory For nothing had been done to MIss Wallace for all she had done to him As for Miss Wallace she said that ne never neer er again agam would she take a masher to court She sand said instead sho she would be her p own court and judge and Jury fury er er she dropped in III to enJoy oy the pie pie- pic pictures tures Lures after this the she would go armed WIth WItha a hat pin pm a n pair of scissors a French heel and a n can opener And Mr Firth the experience wIth Miss Wall Wallace ce had made a deep ill deep fact an Impression abiding abiding Impression He said sud that his conclusions upon the tho Incident afterward ard were very much like this a aMiss Miss Elva Wallace ther I Brooklyn N Y beauty who had Mr Firth arrested for annoying her in a movie theater but was unable to prove her charges in court rust First experience had taught him that an attractive young man was vas not safe from the modern young woman anywhere any any- anywhere where here Second that Mr he-Mr he Mr sas Futh Filth particularly unsafe wherever he mingled with ladies ladles Third Thud that since this was as the case it gravely gra behooved cd all J young oung men but most o of all it gravely behooved Mr Clinton Firth to formulate a line lino of conduct which would pi protect him as much as possible whenever in m the future he should drop into a moving pic- pic picture pic picture ture turl show Having decided therefore what hat lessons les- les lessons les lessons sons he should learn from experience Mr Firth discussed the subject with the amount of concentration and attention to detail which the subject de- de demands demands de demands mands In the beginning said Mr lIr of of course I must be fair And therefore I might just as well admit that I aman am aman antan an attractive man and that I seem to et- et etl ex fi l l ert a particular fascination for the ladies all all ladies ladles both very sery young Joung and Cry old and in between een like Miss Wallace One lady in particular I recall That was Mar Mary She was as seventeen last sum sum- summer summer summer mer when I met her at At once she fell tell on my neck she pur- pur pursued pursued pur pursued sued me she swamped s me with mth atten atten- attentions attentions attentions she would ne never neer er let me out of her sight bight Now I am an amiable man nian and so Iwas I was as good enough to pay her tho attention she expected We returned to town She Sho called me up You are arc taking me to dinner Satur- Satur Saturday day Satui-day father doesn't day night said she My Iy allow me to go out with real men but you ale are different You wouldn't harm anybody and I know he will like you In the mean time I shall write you Jou a beautiful lose 10 lov e letter Dont Don't forget Satur Satur- Saturday Saturday Saturday day night Oh I gasped And then I counted the money oney in my pocket Would a very VA wi m i every emery up-to-date up movie house bouse that the defensive apparatus be put in just as a manager would put in a fire apparatus I would ss suggest that every emery young man fearful of having his intentions misun mIsun- mIsunderstood misunderstood misunderstood be equipped with Ith a modIficatIOn modification tion of a II deep sea divers diver's suit This IS made of rubber and it covers him from head to foot It leaves only proper for the eyes to look through But of course there are some young Joung men attractive and therefore in dan dan- danger danger dan danger be able to endure n a adiv ger who ho would never divers diver's dl ers cr's suit For it is made of rubber and any pel pet son with a rheumatic tendency would find it too severe Thereto Therefore e I base ha other suggestions The management should also put in a complete line Ime of handcuffs and leg chains chams Let the y young ung man who dreads to brave the terrors of the deep dim mysterious movie where the militant young Joung maids wait walt wIth militant manners line up before the managers manager's office One pair of handcuffs for me Mr Manager each young oung man would repeat as his tui n came to be served Yes and anda a pair of leg chains chams too Just lock me Into them J yourself our elf and keep leep the key ey Therefore Mr Manager if I get into S trouble in there youl you'll be ba my witness in incourt incourt 4 court that my hands were ere ft ere and tied tied and my feet likewise I would also like to suggest using T something blinders something like he what hat a horse so sears so that the attractive young man cannot see to right of him nor yet Jet Jetto yetto vetto to left of him but can see sea ahead of hIm the picture and nothing else cIse Now another phase of this distress distress- distressful distressful ful subject which should be analyzed IS the method of approach of these militant young oung I women omen One method of approach by which they ha have hale e tried to ensnare me ne is by dropping their little embroidered hand hand- handkerchief handkerchief handkerchief kerchief In times past when I was younger than I am now ard and foolish enough to be gallant I have hate picked that handkerchief up and restored it to its owner But never again not after Miss Wallace h- h Lu which still lurked in my nature Now and henceforth whenever Isee I see sec a little lady drop her kerchief I intend to go up to her and hiss in m her ear Pick it up yourself J one of the ways ays in which I will take a vicarious revenge upon Miss Wallace But thesis these charming and easIly Insulted ladies ladles have other methods of ap- ap approach ap roach One comes when they linger helplessly at the door of the movies and they as ask in III dulcet tones tOles Please what tune time is it After Alter this I shall reply Its tIme for me to run away ay at once And when hen in the innermost fa fact fact- fastnesses t- t nesses of the movies one of the fetching little creatures leans lenns up against me as the gun goes off behind the screen to match a scene of violence in the pictures why hy that lady henceforth will get cold comfort from Mr Clinton Firth I will III just throw her off so roughly she sho WIll have no doubt as to my feeling I Or per per- per haps perhaps Ill I'll have my shoulders guarded wItha with a row of sharp metal spIkes concealed under my coat so I wont won't bate oa to bother witha Itha with Ith a spoken reprimand 1 1 I Now I have hate tried to map out ont in r n few Y paragraphs the skeleton of a defense for formen formen formen men We need that defense But before I finish I wish to deny now for all tIme what hat I ever eser tried to do what is so ul- ul vulgarly garly called mash Miss 1 Wallace She doesn't appeal to me she wouldn't veto ele eleshe she the last woman on my desert island And to other en tempted like myself I would say a v vord ord of final ad- ad adIce ad advice vice ice Ice hen hen at the the movies the strange oung woman stirs at sour our side in a away away away way to suggest that she is getting all ready to be insulted get up J young oung man and 1 iun tun un Discretion is the better part of valor salor alor anda and a clean pair of heels the tho only unanswerable crabl argument for the tha tempestuous militant arduous young oung ladles ladies of to day ay t 1 |