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Show IT fhiPhillipr l DICTATOR'S MENU ("Correspondents could see the 'dictators dinine in the train, but could not see 'at they were eating." eat-ing." News item.) Benito I'll bet they'd like to know what we're eating. Adolf Public curiosity is a queer thing. Benito Maybe we should announce an-nounce the menu. Adolf Let 'em guess. What kind of soup is this? Benito English beef soup. Adolf (indignantly) Now look j here . . . Benito You'll like it. I had two Englishmen boiled in it especially for you. Adolf (skeptically) You and who else? Benito You'll like the fish course. Adolf What kind of fish? Benito Brenner Pass pickerel. Adolf I thought we were going to ! have man-eating shark. I love it Some of my best friends are man-eating man-eating sharks. What about that Suez shad I asked you to get? Benito Ahem. It was out of season. sea-son. Adolf Now for the meat course. What is it? I Benito Lamb. I Adolf (excitedly) Lamb! Lamb ' for Adolf Hitler? j y Benito I ordered lion, of course e But there was some mistake. I feel as out of place with lamD as you Adolf Take it awa.v! It's a wonder won-der you don't serve breast of dove. Benito-How about a little turkey? Adolf I've been after that all year. Benito Do you care for tripe? Adolf-It depends on who prepares it. Benito Well, if anybody can prepare pre-pare tripe I can. Adolf Haven't you any frogs' legs? Benito-If anybody has frogs legs you should. How about a helping of spinach. It is full of iron and is great for your stength. Adolf Spinach may be all that it's cracked up to be. but I wish I knew what vegetables those British were eating. , Beno (suddenly)-Ah, I forgot! We're having lobster. I love lobster. lob-ster. It looks so warlike. Do you like it boiled or broiled? Adolf (fiercely)-I eat it shell and ; am ; Benito-Do you really like it that way? Adolf No, but it makes me seem tough. Benito-Now for the dessert. Do you like cake? Adolf Me, a cake eater! Benitc Do you care for raspber- rlAdol!-No, but you and I stand a swell chance of having to stand for 'em! SUMMARY BY EITHER SIDE I Vote for my man And unseat, oh, Adolf, Josef And Benito, Satan, rickets AnH all evils Such as dandruff And boll weevilsl II Moths and heartburn, Tonsilitis, Grippe, hay fever-How fever-How they blight usl Tyranny and boils They grieve you . . . Vote for my man They will leave youl "The Japanese government has entered into this triple alliance for peace and the development of the world." Premier Konoye. Tweet! Tweet! Representative Starnes of the Dies committee says more than 600 Bund members or sympathizers, aU aliens, are known to have jobs in eastern industrial plants making war munitions and supplies. And probably the Bund attitude is that it's pretty good, for a start. CANDIDATE FOR FIRING SQUAD It always seems to be incredible A radish is considered -dible. Shirley Mae Williams. - Nothing seems to me less valid Than cucumbers in any salad. TOUGH GOING r. ic mr,ff to be pretty hard, it seems to us. for even the Japanese to voice a salute such as He.l. Yomawatcaskuo." , And both Hitler and Mussolini will look silly wielding a Japanese I fan. . . . Major Quisling is designing a new . flag for florway. Some people are so tw and considerate. |