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Show f ' THE BINGHAM NEWS MERELY USED AS A PARABLE Individual Cited aa Example of Care, lessness Existed Only In the Imagination of Minister. At the little church the minister, a colored mun, announced that he re-gretted to state that a certuln brother had retired to rest the night before without locking the door of hi 3 fowl house, end on rising in the morning hnd found that all bis chickens hud disappeared. "I don't want to be personal," he added, "but I hnb ray suspicions as to who stole dem chickens. I shall be glad if the mun who took dem will not put any money In the box when It Is passed round, and then I shall know It dose suspicions are right or not.' Every one present contributed. "Now, breddem," announced the minister. "I don't want your dinners spoilt by wonderln' where dat brud-de- r lives who don't lock his chlckuns op at night Dot brudder don't exist, man friends ; he was a parable for the purpose of finance." fEFK'-- l , For Infants and Children, SpflS Mothers Know That' v S&iSS-f-fi Genuine Castoria HAVcMabteimu- - Always J mBBears tl19 fir ll'o Signature V. $ liSSmM of tt.lr i Y IV fisr 11 t Jfv In iHsj- i-' J For Over 1 Jf Thirty Years ICASTORIA CATARRH I J Catarrh It a Local disease greatly In fluenced by Constitutional conditions. HALF'S CATARRH MEDICINE con-sla- ts ot an Ointment which elves Quick Relief by local application, and the Internal Medicine, a Tonic, which acta through the Blood on the Mucous Bur facts and assists In ridding- - your System of Catarrh. Bold by drug-fist- for over 40 Tears, F. J. Cheney Co., Toledo, a SICES KAMCK Take a good dose of Carter's Little liver PUTS fSW i'rrr trrvsTI h 3 or 3 for a few nighta after. They restore vAlt I LK " or8n to their proper functions and Headache) r ITTCE the causes of it pass away. llflVtZR THEY REGULATE THE BOWELS and IIP ILLS PREVENT CONSTIPATION (I fn) p Gives Mew Life tQ d stckinss sjf Putnam Fadeless Dyes-d- yes or tints as you wish Has your mp mealtime drink said "Pay up I" A GOOD many people have had free from any possibility of harm Jtx. thnt message from coffee or to health. tea after the drug, caffeine, has Try Postum with your meal 1 had its effect upon nerves or di- - for a few days and let the whole) Cetn-- family, the children included. Frequently the message comes share In Its appetizing, invigorate at night, when nerves won't quiet ing goodness. It will bring better down and sleep won't come, after nights and brighter mornings, the dinner cup of coffee. Youi grocer soils Postum In t There's no unfriendly after- - J'.nn.u In the cup ST fSI by the notice from that good cereal bev. tion of boiling wt, Postum c.r.l eroge, Postum. (in pelcf?es) for thoss who prefer to 'r.t";--, I fft Postum mske the drink while the tnenl Is being delights the taste.gives pr,p.red; omd. br MU ,u- - lweut" ?trr$i it comfort and satisfaction, and is minuies. frV.tufAL' Postum hbai:i-- pili kri) "There's a Reason" Wt0 Msde by Postum Cereal Ca, Inc., Rattle Creek, Mich. s--- "J 1 YF 1 j OUR COMIC SECTION Locals J 1 t m . Classified Ads 1 P.nW(;w.f.M!M!. HELP WANTED Can use the serv-- Fashion winter edict lcea youngTrian, with a strong g back, to help start job recently over-- " Bill Tender of ill I lililjlj Swamp Root was in I I' . town yesterday between trains, but ,' ' JraMS iF Imfffi I was unable to visit his many friends " The Rude Awakening. The flapper daughter of the family came to the breukfust table in a dis-tinctly bad humor. "I don't see why you awakened me when you did," she complained to her mother. "I was just about to receive a proposul. I dreamed John T - had taken me out to dinner, we hnd Just finished eating and he folded his hands und looked at me like he was ready to ask a question when you woke uie up." "Oh," her unsympathetic brother laughed, "I know that guy better than you do, lie wusn't going to ask you to marry him at all. lie was going to ask you to lend him money to pay the dinner check." No Meeting. A young reporter was sent out by the city editor of one of the Rochester papers to report a meeting. About two hours after the assign-ment was made the young reporter re-turned with a sad countenance. The city editor told him to get the report tip Immediately, as it was near-ly time to go to press. "There will not be any report on that meeting," was the answer. "Why not?" queried the city editor. There was no meeting," replied the young reporter. "It broke up in a big row and the chairman was chucked under the table." Rochester Democrat and Chronicle. - - No Disrespect Allowed &co7 Viope sues aou --es L-- 7 (A l. C 1 whgw "i 11 COMPLIMENT THAT RANG TRUE Little Indianapolis Newsboy Proved He Had His Share of the Wit of His Race. She la one of Indianapolis' most agreeable and attractive young busi-ness women, who has fallen into the hublt of bringing all sorts of pres-ents to a little Irish newsboy who sells papers not far from the News office. The other evening she brought him a pair of warm gloves, and he racked his little Irish brain for suitable thanks for her. And finally they came with a true Irish compliment. "Lady," be said, "I'm glad the likes of you Is an old maid. If you were married and your boys sold newspapers on this street, and bela' anything like yourself, the rest of us kids would have to go out of business." The business woman says that was the best compliment she ever re-ceived. Indianapolis News. IMPRESSING HIS BEST GIRL' Plumber Felt He Had a Right to sV Proud of His Important Family ' Connections. ( . lie was quite evidently a plumber and as he sut with his "best girl' back of the Woman upon the baa ha explained that he had been working a little harder lately the cold weathet mude them work harder In those buildings which were unheated and U which they were putting the plumb-ing. It was different in the summer, when the buildings were restfully cooL And then the bus passed by the big "mansions" on the drive. The plumber began to boost Prlda Is so curious a thing. "My dad." he said, "had the eo tract to put In the plumbing In almoat every swell house In this city. Yep, he continued boastfuHy, "he's got tha finest lot of customers you'd evtf find." And the girl whispered happy, and proud admlrutlon of the splendid fam-ily into which she was about U marry. Chlcugo Journal. Kansan's Destructive Lsugh. In the days when horseflesh was In flower one of the hardest things in town was to get horses accustomed to Job Hofer's laugh. Every time he took off the main hatch and helped himself to a real mastodonlc gurgle of glee there were two or three runaways down Main street. The horses largely have passed, but Job's laugh has the same devastating effect Today he be-came amused at something while In Lem Lump's Ford, and two panes of window glass fell out Eldorado Times. A Sentimental Show. "This Is hilled as a love story and corned up to Its billing." "Also Its cooing." Owlish. "And he left legacies," droned the lawyer, "to wit" Here he puused. "To whoT" intoned the Judge. People are more likely to do their duty If It Isn't made needlessly Society uncovers a multitude of feminine shoulders, - Qualified to Enter. "When are yon going to let ma kin you? "Come around on Friday. That! amateur night." Our Idea of a true friend Is one who sees ua only from our own view-- 1 point Safest Place, Fanny WHERE. VA GOING ( CANT VA READ ? Vrw-T- CAR- - I SwoPPfNG DtAaIt it I 1 M ' Th morning, j ' FAMW? Jj" ? , ) WELL ! 1 Z i'u tgm Tre net nuwin' doin ! WHADDYA TRW in' To of BLOCK, Wll WPARKIN ThE SQUEEZE IN HERE FO& f s - ' CAR AT HOME IN Tr. v - - ' 0 S GARAGE AND Do voufc - rrji l I j ft W-i- Nwppr l.Mlon 1 L. I I |
