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Show Kathleen Norris Says: The Other Woman's Child Bell Syndicate. WNU Features. "Austin will gradually be restored to normality if all causes of friction are removed from the domestic scene." By KATHLEEN NORRIS "A HUSBAND came I back from air serv- i VI ice in England three months ago," writes Margaret Marga-ret Jones from Canada. "He was four years in active duty and eleven months in a hospital. hos-pital. His injury was cranial, and is entirely cured. When he left, his son by a previous marriage, David, was two years old, and I was expecting expect-ing my first baby. "I was my husband's office nurse, at the time of his first wife's death, and we had discovered a deep affection af-fection for each other. This was, however, kept completely under control. con-trol. I am telling you the exact truth when I say that, after the one first talk when we admitted our feelings, feel-ings, not one word or look passed between be-tween us that could be criticized. His wife was a delicate and nervous woman, and whether she actually took an overdose of sleeping tablets, or whether a normal dose was too much for a weak heart, never was ascertained. The coroner called it death from accidental causes. A few months later Austin and I were married, mar-ried, little David accepting his new mother very placidly. "Then Austin went off to war and Deirdre was born a lovely, sweet-tempered sweet-tempered little girl and I lived very quietly during the first war years, I managing to do part-time work, and to clear the mortgage from our little home and Austin's mother living liv-ing with us and managing house and children. She has now gone to live with a daughter. Unmanageable David. "There was the usual rejoicing when Austin returned, and he was fortunately able to assume his old work at an even higher salary, so that we could be quite comfortable if it were not for David, now nearly seven. He Is a strange, unmanageable unmanage-able little boy, with something uncanny un-canny in his instinct for annoying and outwitting his teachers and myself. my-self. I seem to be eternally correcting cor-recting him, or complaining of him, a position in which I hate to find myself. I've always liked children, and for our two I've always tried to plan intelligently, forgiving much, not hearing impudence, not forcing Issues, substituting the pleasant positive pos-itive for the disagreeable negative when I could. "Austin criticizes my attitude toward to-ward David. Austin has come back in a nervous, irritable mood hard to endure, but it is mostly where David is concerned that the trouble arises. David will not eat his dinner, din-ner, do his homework, go to bed, take his bath when I ask him to. I try good-natured coaxing, give him five more minutes, remind that he can float his submarine in the bath, cook what he likes. He will never cooperate, co-operate, and Austin blames me, and sides with the child. To make it worse, my husband reverts to the past, thinks that perhaps Elsie did kill herself, perhaps she discovered the affection between us, perhaps he was the real cause of her death. "All this has turned our home into a place of discomfort, petty quarrels, quar-rels, carping, nerves. I want to do my duty by all three, but when I see Austin spoiled and good little Deirdre ignored, when I hear noth- 'it l "Be outwit hit teachmrs mnd m. ..." ing but criticism, it is really hard to bear. Austin takes the attitude that a wiser mother would not have these troubles, and perhaps he is right. I want to show him every consideration, but I confess I am a failure, and stumped, and don't know what to do." This is one of the many postwar cases that demands the ultimate in self-control, patience and humor. Yes, I mean humor, for Margaret is taking this much too hard. It is impossible to undo in a day or a week, or even a year, the mischief done by war conditions and home compromises. Let Papa Deal With Son. Austin will gradually be restored to normality if all causes of friction fric-tion are removed from the domestic scene, and the easiest and quickest way to remove them is to surrender to his father full responsibility for David. Reduce yourself to an amiable ami-able onlooker. If David won't eat and won't go to school, don't even report it to Austin; let your husband hus-band see it for himself. Let the child sit up as late as he likes, always being be-ing amiable and kind, and wait for the first corrections to come from the man of the house. Let him play hookey until the teacher comes to complain. Ignore his affection of not having any appetite at meals, and reduce your relationship with him to amusing and affectionate companionship. Several other cases of exactly this type have come to my notice in the past few years; the prevalence of divorce of course has created many of them. In every case which I have known, this aloof, friendly, unconcerned un-concerned attitude taken by the stepmother step-mother happily 'solved the problem for all concerned. In most cases the right school was found for the difficult child. "He's your son, Austin. I only want him to love me," is the unanswerable un-answerable argument. |