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Show Kathleen Norris Says: You May Have to Make Overtures Bel Syndicate WNU Features. (l Sm ' ( Km 'Tne girZ tften left him, her face burning. But before she reached the campus gates, a clumsy man, wearing a top coat and an old cap, was beside her; and the professor mas carrying her books. By KATHLEEN NORRIS " T WONDER what would I happen," an East St. Louis girl writes me, "if I had made a button bearing the words, 'I want to get married,' mar-ried,' and wore it on my coat?" She goes on to tell me her story, and it is a hard and heroic he-roic story. "I am 29," writes Caroline, "healthy, tall, slender, smart, and without any real fault of feature. My mirror shows me a good straight nose, good eyes, plenty of brown hair, perfect teeth my best feature dull skin and an expression that evidently evident-ly suggests 'Keep Off.' "I was the only daughter ol a bank-commissioner father and a very fine mother. When I was nine my father was convicted of dishonest dis-honest dealing; this was not true, as we afterward proved, but it ruined my father. He served a seven-month seven-month term, after which we three moved into the mountains, and lived an isolated life for ten years. I had no friend except my mother. "My father's name was cleared just before he died. He had planned often to come back and try to begin again, but there was no time. After his death, helped by the old friend who had fought my father's cause for ten years, my mother and I came to the city and I studied bookkeeping book-keeping and stenography. We had very little money; we lived in one room and cooked our meals there. When I began to earn money every extra dollar meant a treat, or the wonderful feeling of paying off bills; we two were sufficient to ourselves. Mother Became III. Four years ago my mother developed devel-oped an incurable malady. Turning to the friend who had saved us once before I borrowed enough money to take her to the woods she loved for the remaining ten months of her life. "Since then I have plugged away In gradually Improving jobs; I now make $1,800 a year, live comfortably, comforta-bly, and have a few good woman rrlcnds. Also I think I ought to tell you that two men, both married, ' have expressed affection for me. One Is the friend of whom I have spoken. After my mother's death he told me quietly that anything he could do for me was a pleasure to him, because he had always felt a strong affection for me. "His wife and 1 are friendly, although al-though I don't see either of them often. She has two children by a former marriage and is wrapped up in them. "The other man is an army captain. cap-tain. He was stationed here without his wife, who is an invalid. These circumstances made me feel that I am not without attraction for men, but the truth is that few of them seem to know that I am alive. Seriously, Se-riously, I know I would never have the courage to wear a button announcing an-nouncing my marriage-hungry state to the world, but is there some lesser less-er device that you could devise? I want a home; I want children; I want someone to love and spoil. How to go about finding them?" Must Not Be Impatient. Caroline, you are only 29, and the tragic story of your life accounts for your being far behind most women wom-en of your age in opportunity. You had no girlhood, no school friendi with whom to form natural social affiliations. Those were years of exile and shame for you in the most sensitive period of your life. Your father's sorrowful death, just after BE PATIENT If your youth was like Caroline's Caro-line's and you find yourself at 30 without the home and husband hus-band and children you had dreamed of, be patient. Begin by making friends. If you are shy, concentrate on your interest inter-est in other people, not on their apparent lack of interest in you. And don't look only for the man who has the position posi-tion and money you expect. Look, too, for another lonely person like yourself. Kathleen Kath-leen Norris tells the charming story of a girl who had to take the initiative to "get her man." This girl is now the happy wife of a professor in a California college. justice had been done him, the poverty pov-erty and anxiety of the following years, your, mother's long illness, were all so many barriers between you and normal happy youth. Now for the first time you are free to make your own friends and find your own place, and you must not be impatient im-patient if it takes a little time. Look about you, not for the attractive, at-tractive, popular men of just the right age, position, income to make ideal husbands, but for some soul perhaps as lonely as yourself, with as unusual a story, and be a good friend to him before you expect him to be one to you. One way to find him is through church circles, or language or study clubs. But the probability is that he is in the group about you now, either ei-ther at the boarding-house table or In the office or somewhere in your immediate vicinity. With the idea of giving friendship rather than seeking admiration make a few simple sim-ple overtures to this man. Try it on two or three at a time, so that the law of average will be on your side. Prepare for Rebuffs. You won't have to do a'nything as radical as wearing a badge bearing bear-ing the words "I want to get married." mar-ried." But you may have to overcome over-come shyness and awkwardness and inexperience as great as your own; so be prepared for rebuffs. The moment you have his attention, atten-tion, remember that you are trying to make him feel your interest in him rather than to win his interest in you. His secret passion may be duck shooting, stamp collections, chess or cooking; find it out Then lead him on. In California there is a beloved professor who is regarded by his associates as a genius. He and his plain, .sweet, clever wife have three daughters and a son. It was 19 years ago that the wife, then a lonely lone-ly girl of about Caroline's age, deliberately de-liberately stopped at his desk as she was leaving his laboratory class and asked him whether he would dine with her and her mother some evening. eve-ning. His answer was an inarticulate inarticu-late roar. Two days later she asked him again. He answered sourly that he had no time for social engagements. This time she said seriously and slowly, "I am 28. I am lonely. If ever you feel yoo would like me for a friend will you let me know? I like you very much." She then went on her way, with a burning face, and the simple wish In her heart that the earth would open up and swallow her. But before be-fore she reached the campus gates a clumsy figure in a top coat, with spectacled eyes and rough hair under an old cap, was beside her, and the professor was carrying her books. |
