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Show fH.I.Phillipr W T. S. Farrelly says he hears Goebbels has stolen the U. S. marines ma-rines song and rewritten it, "From the halls of Schicklegrubber to the Shores of Musoleen." Apology in the Jap Manner By error we sailed The Coral Seas . . . Most regrettable mistake Excuse, please! ELSA S. GREENE. . Lieut. Col. Pete Barron of the U. S. marines says it is the duty of every American to help every Jap in his laudable desire to return to his honorable ancestors. an-cestors. In a Furniture Store A lace-engirdled dressing table Intrigues me more than mink or sable. In choosing this chartreuse chaise longue I couldn't possibly go wrong. A tree of life in finest crewel I'd treasure as a flaming jewel. And, oh, this, deep and downy sofa Is definitely what I go for! Pretty things in house or garden I'll want until my arteries harden. I'll sacrifice them all to taxes To sink an ax into the Axis! JENNIE M. PALEN Poor Imitation It makes me laugh to great extreme, The stuff that some cafes call "cream." MERRILL CHILCOTE The Federal Reserve board has passed rules to curb installment buying further and to limit charge accounts to 40 days. That's just in case you go to a store and find that there's anything you can get. ... Hundreds of furniture plants have been converted to the purpose of winning the war. The process of throwing everything in the house except the kitchen sink at the enemy may be said to be on. The motorcycle cop who used to stop you for driving fast is now going to stop you for being be-ing out on the road without a good reason. . TOAST Here's to the cruiser Marblehead Battered and bashed and bombed and bled! The Japs had bumped her off, they said . . . But she just doesn't know she is dead! "For Sale Seven pairs of shoes. Different sizes. Like new. B-ll." Ad spotted by Robert W. Rogers in a Jersey paper. With the gas ration so low aren't you taking a chance, mister? "The property consists of a large colonial house, a concrete sea wall, bathing dock, tennis court and garage on one and a half acre of land." News item. It's a good trick, if the architect did it. Simile by J. G. Winchester: As unhealthy looking as an habitue of a vitamin bar. "Mrs. Roosevelt has an A card but rides a bicycle as much as possible." pos-sible." News item. No racing-handlebars, we hope. "Not that I lack faith in our present song writers and generals," gen-erals," writes Merrill Chilcote from St. Joe, Mo., "but I sort of wish John J. Pershing and George M. Cohan were 25 years younger." ... Sir So you think John Kieran revealed re-vealed something when he told of being a saddler in a World war outfit out-fit that had no horses! I was in one that had horseshoers and stable sergeants! N. C. ... Under the new government bans on iron and steel it is going to be pretty hard to buy any kind of a gadget pretty soon. So many people are making a habit of throwing them around, that we hope it means a shortage of monkey wrenches. ... Our idea of a rec kless American, Ameri-can, under those new steel restrictions, re-strictions, is the fellow who still loses his temper enough to break a golf club. ... One day at Belmont Sl,8n9,607 was bet on race horses. How's that war bond sale coming along? ... RIMES IN A DIMOUT Oh, mortified Is Broadway Gene: When he goes out He can't be seen! And shed a tear For Spotlight Joe: He's got to screen His ego's glow. |