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Show Kathleen Norris Says: Look Before You Elope Bell Syndicate WNU Features. "Many girls are having romantic experiences far beyond anything they hoped or dreamed would happen. Sudden marriages cram the social columns of the netus papers. By KATHLEEN NORRIS WITH the exciting influx of dozens of young soldiers sol-diers into so many of our quiet small towns, many girls are having romantic experiences ex-periences far beyond anything any-thing they ever hoped or dreamed would happen, and strange complications are arising in consequence. Sudden Sud-den marriages cram the social so-cial columns of the newspapers. newspa-pers. Only this morning a marriage is announced between be-tween a charming California girl and a young lieutenant whom she had known exactly 22 days. In another 22 days he will be off for ports unknown, and the girl-wife-widow will have months of loneliness to face. If she mopes and grieves at home she loses a great deal of natural young pleasure and amusement, and if she goes out with other men she will quickly forget even what David looks like. Either way, such a marriage is a mistake, and foredoomed to trouble of one sort or another. Another angle on this hasty-service-marriage situation is presented pre-sented to me in a letter from Alicia K., who lives in Tucson. Alicia had a soldier-beau last June, and although al-though she is barely 20, and the man only a few years older, and although al-though they had known each other only a few weeks, they were eager to be married before he sailed away. Alicia's stepmother prevented them, and Alicia says she will never forgive her. The stepmother prevailed pre-vailed upon Alicia's father and grandfather to forbid the match, and the young man, resenting their attitude, atti-tude, went off without saying good-by. good-by. Tragedy of Sweethearts. Last week he was reported missing miss-ing in action in the Solomons, and Alicia feels worse than ever. Oh, why couldn't they have had at least a few weeks as man and wife, she wails. By this time a baby might have been on the way Steve's child, to comfort her, and take his father's place! Yes, that's true, Alicia. To be a young widow, expecting a hero's posthumous child, is a role very appealing ap-pealing to your 20 years, and you quite naturally feel cheated out of it. But, if you had married your Steve, you might find yourself with another sort of role to play one not half as romantic and easy. For Steve might have come home early in the peace, to turn out to be quite different from the man you remember. remem-ber. Indeed, you might hardly know Steve by sight, much less be willing to spend your whole life with him. Or you might have met the man you liked far more than you ever liked Steve; you might, while Steve was away, have discovered your true mate, and have had in honesty to meet Steve with the bitter news that you and little Steve weren't ever going back to him. That happened in the last war, many times. Girls who after a few dances, a few thrilling visits to the big camp, had jumped into hasty marriages, found the tie extremely burdensome when the men came home. Another variation of this problem comes to me in a letter from a girl in Miami. Vera didn't marry her young man, but their engagement was announced and they planned a wedding for March of this year, when he expects to get back with his bomber and will have a few weeks leave. Joey writes his Vera faithfully, faith-fully, and tells her that the thought of ber U like a guardian angel al- HE IS WARNED This week Kathleen Norris warns the young man in service serv-ice against the kind of woman or young girl ivho mistakes the shallow thrill of wartime romance ro-mance for the steady devotion he expects to come home to. The Vera of this letter thought she ivas in love with a young man who is now reported missing miss-ing in the Solomons. Vera found another, richer and more prominent escort in the meantime, and now she admits that she hopes the first young man will not return. ways beside him. His mother writes her, too, and thanks her for her wonderful goodness to her boy. "Joey hasn't had much happiness in his life, because of responsibility for me and for his sister," the mother moth-er writes. "But now Margaret is married, and I am so much better, and it rejoices all our hearts to think of the joy that has come to the best son and brother in the world." Girl Meets Preferred Boy. The trouble is that Vera has met David, and David is everything that a young girl dreams. He is 32 to Joey's 24; he is in uniform, stationed in Washington, marked for a distinguished dis-tinguished career. "I went up to stay with my cousin in Baltimore," writes Vera, "and at a service dance met David. He is everything EVERYTHING. Handsome, Hand-some, quiet, authoritative, with a wonderful social position, and rich. When I told him about Joey, and my engagement, I couldn't make things quite as definite as they were, and as a result David talks of Joey's feeling for me as if it were not very serious, and of mine toward Joey as if it were all a girl's kindness in a time that is emotional for us all. So that I am really in a bad predicament, predica-ment, for naturally I am afraid of losing David if things hang fire too long, and I cannot think now of marrying mar-rying Joey without a shudder. For what I feel for him now I see is merely affection and sympathy. Sometimes of late, lying awake and worrying for the first time in my life, I have felt that it would be almost al-most the best solution to hear that something had happened to Joey, for anything is better than breaking his heart, and yet I feel that I have to be honest with myself and David, too." It is perhaps quite obvious that Vera is a shallow little creature, quite carried away by the excitement excite-ment of having two handsome uniformed uni-formed beaus in a few short months. And it is also obvious that Joey is to be congratulated if he faces the humiliation and disappointment that Vera's treatment will cause him, and waits to find a worthier woman. Girl Unsure of Feelings. But at the same time, young girls are often carried by war-time changes and thrills, into what seems a very real feeling, and it is not their fault that the feeling does not last. Years ago, it used to be against the gallant sailors and soldiers sol-diers who loved and kissed and went away that girls were warned. But now the warning should go both ways, and the youngsters who indulge in-dulge in these flirtations ought to be willing to leave them at flirtation status. My advice to Vera, which she will not follow, is to wait until Joey comes back again, and then have a talk with him. give him back the plain little ring that cost him a month's pay, and explain that she was too young to be sure of her feelings, feel-ings, last June, and wants to wait for awhile before she marries anyone. |