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Show fHLPhillipr SENATORIAL CIGARETTE INVESTIGATION Senator Wibbie As I stand here doing my part in the great battle for the preservation of that thing which is so dear to America, the cigarette, I sometimes wonder if my colleagues fully appreciate the part played by it in the life of our glorious glori-ous country. What, I ask, would civilization be without it? What would democracy be with no smoke-rings curling above it? What would a free world be with no ashes on the rugs? Senator Bunkem Does the Senator Sena-tor contend that the world could not survive on the old-fashioned clay pipe of our forefathers? Senator Wibbie We have passed beyond the era of pipes. They are a relic of the days before mankind, and womankind, reached that stage of development where the very home was built around the cigarette. With the last drop of my blood I will hold the fort against those reactionaries re-actionaries who would plunge our wives, mothers, and sisters and kiddies back into those dark ages when nicotine-stained fingers were the privilege of princes and prelates, when the great blessing of blowing smoke through the nose was unknown un-known to the masses, and when that great blessing to all mankind, the ashtray, was almost unknown. Senator Toopsey In my grandfather's grand-father's time they had to use old saucers for trays. Senator Bunkem I remember my grandfather going around the old home looking in vain for something to empty his pipe into, and finally using grandma's ginger jar. Senator Wibbie (resuming) My friends, this is one of the gravest hours in history. This country must face that great question, can our people get all the cigarettes they need, and upon which their lasting happiness depends. Deprive us of our cigarettes and you strike a blow at the very foundation of liberty. Would Thomas Jefferson stand idly by today and watch long lines of mothers and daughters waiting patiently pa-tiently before the store offering but one pack to a customer? Would Jackson submit to cigarette ra-. tioning? Would Lincoln, Cleveland, McKinley and the great Teddy Roosevelt have stood unmoved by the suffering involved when thousands thou-sands of our school children were obliged to reduce their cigarette quota by as many as two smokes per day? Senator Toopsey (getting into the spirit) The important place of the cigarette in our civilization is plain to all. With it we conquer, without it we fail. I have a few statistics here marking the extent of the crisis now confronting us. In 11 of the northern states 60 per cent of the women and children haven't been able to inhale in weeks. In 8 western west-ern states over 80 per cent of the wives and mothers do not know where their next smoke is coming from. In 4 border states the nicotine nico-tine stains are fading fast." A strong Democratio senator Let us here and now place the blame for the cigarette shortage where it belongs, at the door of Herbert Hoover. A Left Winger Right! But let us not forget that the forces of reaction re-action as represented by Wall street, the capitalistic system and the United States chamber of commerce are also to blame. A Republican There was no cigarette ciga-rette shortage under Hoover! Senator Earake There probably was, but it was concealed by the Tory press. Senator Bunkem Are we sure there is a shortage? I listen to the radio and all the big cigarette companies com-panies are filling the air with sales talks for their product. Why do they do this if they are out of cigarettes? ciga-rettes? Senator Earake They are building build-ing up good will. Senator Duffer Would it be possible pos-sible at this time for the senate to take up the arms shprtage on the western front? It seems to me to be more important. (Cries of "Throw him out" and "No! No!) Senator Duffer Is it not advisable ad-visable that we look into the matter mat-ter of getting more shells to General Gen-eral Patton, stopping the drift , of workers from war factories and focusing fo-cusing the attention of the American public on the more vital aspects of the world situation? Chorus, of Voices What! And make cigarettes a secondary issue!! (The session ends in disorder.) The Gotham Taxista Don't See: To this writer's mind one of the sights of Npw York worth sfeing, yet st'Ulom mentioned by the guidrs, is tf'ashingtnn Mtirkrt. A combination county fair, 1 food show. Elks pxnic, carnival and home town "general store," tt is one of the town's big showx. During the noon hour, when thousands crowd into it to I lunch at its unique clnm, sandwich, fish and quick-lunch bars, it is at its bt'st. ' Vcle's Chili Bar . . . llotloaf s Seafood Bar . . . Charlie's Oyster Bar . . . The Hntloaf Bakery Bar . . . and many others oth-ers . . . with, in most caes, the five-cent cup of coffee still reigning like some-thing some-thing out of bygone days! . |