| OCR Text |
Show I (food Jokes' ' A Necessary Preliminary. Aim high' You'll hit the mark o( famo, As mnn. men you know did; Dut there's no usa In taking aim Unluss your sun Is loaded. -Life. "Wheels" Are "Headgear." 'G33f e9Bb9BtBV BSK Tom Tweqty dollars for that slaa-plo slaa-plo fall hat? You must bo crazyl Clara Well, I must say It's coins to my hoad. Chicago Chronicle. Rose Life. The nlicht sent down a dtwdrey To where a red rota slept; The red rose opened wide Its arms. And In the dowdrop crept. The aun came softly stealing-Above stealing-Above tho hilltop's crest. And made tho dowdrop iparkle Upon the rose's breast, The south wind came and kla4 It, And made It dip and nod-It nod-It flnmlnK petals, falling, Mndo rainbows on tho sod. Milwaukee Sentinel. Knew What He Wanted. Young Oont Urn or do you over tnko hack goods and roturn tho money? Jowolor No, sir; but If you havo an engagement ring, I'll molt It up for you and pay for tho gold. N. Y. Weekly. Embarrassing. i Ousslo Yoa; whllo 1 was talking to Miss Itoso sho had a far-away, ploasod look In hor eyes. Miss Sharp Porhaps sho was thinking that you woro far away. Chicago Dally News. Good Taste. Its bite may lead to marriage nut I can toll you this That 1 don't blame a microbe For lurking In a kiss. Houston I'oat. True Reciprocity. Clarence I told tho mlnlstor he might kiss you. Cordolla And what did ho say? Claronco IIo thaukod mo, and said that undor tho circumstances ho would forego tho usual foo. Illustrated Illus-trated lilts. Human Nature, The path of duty leads, 'tis said, To self-approval. Dut A lot of people strlro each day To find a shorter cut Chicago Dally News. That Was All. Efflo Jack and I flshod for Tour hours yesterday, Elsies Catch anything? Efllo (coyly) Only Jack. Itoal Magazlno. Yes, Indeed. Bho wild that she thought It was perfect bllas To go out for a row on a day Ilka this: Hut her arms woro bare, and I see with sorrow. That bliss to-day will meun blisters tomorrow! to-morrow! Cleveland leader. Not on the Programme. "Of course," sho said, "yoa'vo seen tho cake walk, professor?" "The or tho cako, madam? No," turned tho professor. "Hut I under un-der a stronj Ions, you understand ' Uan sucu the clionje mobilize." IT 13 80 HARD TO UNDERSTAND WOMAN. "Odd, you can't understand n worn an," ho said, dlsgustodly. "It's no use trying." "What's happened now?" "I met that pretty Miss Swift In dark hallway and kissed hor. I didn't think shod mind, am know." "And sho did mind?" "Woll sho pretended to bo very angry, an-gry, so I thought I'd smooth things down by tolling hor that It was all a mlstako that I thought sho was somobody else," "And then?" "Why, then alio really was very angry." an-gry." Judge Judging by Looks. Uacon Sho says sho Is 28 yean old. Egbert Well, sho looks as If she would say sho was about that old.--Yonkera Statesman. The Cd, Old Story. He couldn't read his title clear To mansions In the skies. In fact, he had none anywhere II didn't advertise. Chicago Itecord-IIerald. The Rule of Golf. SLBs aSJBflfe. fll W tSSuLJ J 2ssssHsm?V Clara Can you always toll a bo-glnnor bo-glnnor on tho links? Claudo Well, as a rulo, you can't toll him much. Cincinnati Enqulror. Glory. I want to be an Ice man. And with tho Ice man stand. An auto at the sidewalk, A bnnlt book In my hand. Milwaukee Sentinel. In the Wee Hours. "What wua that nolso In tho parlor last night?" "Why, Uondor came homo from tho club and started to make that electrical elec-trical experiment." "Whnt electrical cxporlmont?" "Why, rubbing a black cat on tho back to sed If ho could sco any sparks." "And did ho boo any sparks?" "No; but ho saw a myriad of stars. Tho cat clawod him, and ho fell ovoi tho piano." Chicago Dally Nows. A Sure Cure. Tho NovolUt I am troubled with Insomnia. I 11a awako at night thinking think-ing about my novols. Tho Critic Why don't you get uj and read ono of thorn? Brooklyn Eaglo. Send Check. Ills wife la at tho seashore. And every day's a gay day; Ilia daughter Is with mamma, And every day's a wade day; Ilut they write lovely letters-He letters-He gets ono every pay day. Houston Post. Settling. Tho ecojy-tooklng stranger ap. proachod tho Quostlons and Answer" editor. ' "May I havo your assistance" he nsked. "In settling a wager?" "Certainly, sir." "You'ro suro It'll ho no JjubIo to you?" "None at all. I'm perfectly willing to help you." "Lot mo havo $10, then, I lost" Cleveland Loader. Hairy Persiflage. Ilarher Hair cut or shave, sir? CuBtomor Eh? Oh, meroly eut, thank you. A Layman's Impression. "Father," said tho small boy, "what Is a scientist?" "A scientist, my son, Is a man who can tell you things you already know In such unfamiliar language that you regard It as something brand now." Washington Star. Dearl Alicia Oh, that poem of youri U Just the dearvBt thing! Alphonso I should say It Is. 'n spent $20 worth of stamps sending It U muguzltioncievu.ltml leader. |
