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Show . A TRIBUTE TO THE COW . greatness, and that great city didst same that patb that thou didst make Milk Street in thy honor. Awful Miss Cow, thou hast been the moiit d3trn(tive vehicle known to the human race, for on the declining de-clining sun of the Sth day of October Octob-er in the year of our Lord 1871, near Polk Street, In the great windy City of the West, thou didst with great anger place thy rear-most foot against the crytsallne sides of Mrs. Patrick O'Leary's lamp and parted them asunder wklch caused the petroleum pe-troleum contained therein to scatter itself abroad and percolate the brightened straw of thy comfortable bed and the lightened wick of the afore-mentioned luminant did set-teth set-teth fire to the combustible elements as set forth in this document, and the excessive heat in thine habitation habita-tion caused thee to move with alacrity alac-rity toward the shore of the placid surface of Lake Michigan and there thou didst unswallow thy food from thy first stomach and didst chew It to thy great satisfaction and, moreover, more-over, thou, like Nero of ancient Rome, didst with great delight and happiness look upon the greatest holocaust and fire of all times that thy hindermost hoof didst enkindle. Dear Miss Caw, tradition testifies and Hply Writ verifies the testimony that far back in the dim vistas of the past, over SO eenturies before the birth of the Savior of Mankind, the epoch when the daughter of Pharoah hid lUtle Moses In the rushes, that one Aaron didst take the golden earrings ear-rings and other golden jewels from the ladies of that time and he didst fashion them into a goldon calf of 22 carats fineness and he didst put that calf on a high pedestal for all the people to worship. Down through all the centuries from Aaron to the present time, wit the exception of the denizens of Delta and the Beehive State, many peonle of all other countries and climes are still worshipping at the shrine of a golden Imitation of thine offspring. We note in the press reports that a girl is going to cross Niagara Falls on a tight-rope. All we can say for her is that she wants to get to Canada Can-ada worse than we do. I Most people say spitting is impolite. impol-ite. Not if you are spitting on your hands so you can do more work. |
