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Show To Make You Smile "Horace, dear," said young Mrs. Torkins, "dkln't you say that dog you bought has a pedigree?" "Yes," was the complacent reply. "Well, knowing how unlucky you are with dogs, I consulted a veterinary veteri-nary surgeon. You needn't worry. The doctor says it won't hurt him in the least." Tramp: "Could you give a poor fellow a bite, lady?" Lady: "Well, I'm sorry, I don't bite myself; but I'll call my dog, if you like." Bertie: "I suppose your wife always al-ways has her own way?" Reginald: "Oh, no, she doesn't 1 If she had her own way she'd be twenty-eight twenty-eight instead of forty years old." Let poets sing their lilting song And gaily smite the lyre; Give me the man who whistles while He's putting on a tire. Employer: "What's the lady's agcP" Clerk; "The lady won't give her age. She says she is thirty-odd." "Well, If it's an odd number, put . . her down at thirty-nine." The hostess, an amiable bundle of recently acquired wealth, was doing her utmost to hide the fact that she was not familiar with the intricate manipulation of an oyster fork. Following Fol-lowing the principle, "When in doubt, keep still," she placed her large, fat red hands across the front elevation of her expansive waist. Suddenly there came a general lull in the chatter, and a bright youth turned to his hostess and muttered, sagaciously: "Awful pause, ch?" The hostess, unhitching herself, as it were, and thrusting her enormous knuckles out of sight, blurted out: "Yes, and so would yours be if you'd had to work as hard as I did before - the war" At the docks an Irish emigrant was seen loafing suspiciously near an anchor After an hour's careful ob-servation ob-servation a policeman ' approached " the suspect and demanded to know the why and wherefore of his malingering.. "Well, sorr," said the son of ETin, "Tin wailing to see the man who uses that pickaxe!" Old Gentleman: "Why are you fishing, my boy ? Don't you know you ought to be at school?" Small Hoy: "There, nowl I knew I'd forgotten something." . , |