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Show ""i IflM Practice of Law. "I swore to sixteen, when I'm rci forty. Was that perjury?" I "Yes, madam, It was." f "Dear me! Snail I change my tl luony?" I "Better stick to sixteen. Th.l any trouble arises we'll ask the J to spare you on account of you treme youth." Appreciated the Views. Mrs. Newrlch (returned from to We went very swiftly all the wa. Caller But traveling In a fast a . " how could you get any Idea of country? Mrs. Newrlch Oh, I bought a' lo picture postcards every pla,ce stopped at. t Hard to Stop. He And what Is your society f She For the prevention of ( bllng among women. He But that's Impossible. She Certainly It's not lmpossit! top gambling among women. He Oh, gambling! I thought aid gabbing! Pearson's Weekly. The Classes. "Who Is the young man over der so well dressed whom all girls seem to be admiring?" "Why, he's the pink of perfect "And who is the ordinary lot! man near him with a baby in! v rms?" I "Oh, he's just a plain poppy,"! 8chooldays. I "Henry, the doctor says little U and his sister both have measltJ "Good Lord I More expense. S Just to think, Just to think !" j "Just to think what, Henry?" "When I was a boy I paid a clt mine 50 cents to give me the uiea?S. Feminine Determination. "I forbid any further extravagej In this housefurnlshlng business J want you to understand, madam, I f I put my foot down on any new 1 1 pets." J1 '; "All right, John, dear; they'lB, tnere to put It down on." f 1 A HIGH LIVER "Every time I meet Bill Plodder he's got his pooketa full of handouts and a cigarette In his face." "Believe me, Sammy, dat guy Is llvln' beyond his means." Unlovely Object A man must love his sweetheart well If he will never leave her, But ff&ae with love Into her face When she has got hay fever. Least Danger. Young Did you buy that hat for your wife? Creak I did. "Well, It makes her look fierce." "Well, she would have looked a good deal fiercer If I hadn't." London Lon-don Answers. Too Late. Husband You told me to buy something some-thing for you on my way from the office, of-fice, but I couldn't remember what It wus. Wife (bursting Into tears) It Is too late now ; neither can I. Obeying Orders. "You are using gestures In your apeeches more freely than you used -.,-" to." "Yes," answered Senator Sorghum. "The doctor told me I'd have to take more exercise." |