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Show Even Stephen A WOMAN VISITOR to the city entered a taxicab. No sooner was the door closed than the car leaped forward violently, and afterward after-ward went racing wildly along the street, narrowly missing collision with innumerable things. The passenger, pas-senger, naturally enough, was terrified. ter-rified. She thrust her head through the open window of the door, and shouted at the taxi driver. "Please, be careful, sir! I'm nerv- ' ous. This is the first time I ever rode in a taxi." The driver yelled in reply, without with-out turning his head: "That's all right, ma'am. It's the first time I ever drove one!" THAT DID IT The lady and her dog boarded a train for a cross-country trip. When the conductor approached her she said: "I presume, sir, that since I have purchased a first class ticket for my Cuddles, she'll be permitted to ride in a seat just like other passengers." pas-sengers." "Yes, madam," replied the conductor, con-ductor, "she'll be permitted to ride in a seat, provided, of course, she doesn't put her feet on the upholstery." uphols-tery." Tarn About "So you and your neighbor are not on speaking terms?" "No. My neighbor sent me a can of oil to use on my lawn mower when I started to cut the grass at six in the morning." "And what did you do?" "I sent it back and told him to use it on his wife when she started singing at eleven at night." Modest Request He fell asleep to the steady drone of his wife's voice. The next thing he knew she was shaking him violently. vio-lently. "Wake up," she exclaimed rather rath-er angrily, "you're talking in your sleep." He shook h i s sleepy head, yawned and protested, "Well, for heaven's sake, you don't begrudge me those few words, do you?" No Alternative "Why are you going to marry that police captain?" "It is against the law, you know, to resist an officer." No Score . "Jack was the goal of my ambition, ambi-tion, but alas!" "What happened, dear?" "Father kicked the goaL" FAIR QUESTION Ann: "Mother, am I a canoe?" Mrs. Farmer: "Certainly not! What makes you think that?" Ann: "Well, you are always saying say-ing you like to see people paddle their own canoes, and I thought I must be yours." Naturally A man entered a drug-store and asked for a dozen two-grain quinine pills. "Do you want them put in a box, sir?" asked the clerk, as he was counting them out. "Oh, no, certainly not," replied the customer. "I was thinking of rolling them home." Slightly Garbled "Mrs. Smith, did you say, In the hearing of my little girl, that I was a great rusty cat?" "No, my dear Mrs. Jones; 1 said you were a great aristocrat." LOGICAL PROCEDURE Lady in Restaurant: "Why don't you shoo your flies?" Waiter: "Well, you see. it's hot todaiy, so we thought we'd let them run around barefooted." |