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Show all directions' and we're1 all species-and species-and colors. S3fne even claim to have seen purple bugs, and bugs with red and yellow stripes that resembled a barber pole, but too much stock has not been taken in that because they were seen by some men shortly after pay day, and the day after pay day is bad. The bugs seemed to thrive on the spray, and they waxed fat and sassy, invaded the homes and even ev-en appropriated the best living room chairs for their comfort. A meeting was called by the townspeople towns-people to find out why the DDT a bit worse than cafe coffee, which done in the past. Officials of the big wholesale DDT firms were called cal-led in for conference! Never in the history of DDT had there been such a fiasco as confronted the big brass. Surveys were made while those making them fought their ,way through swarms of various forms of bug life. The spray was ;too fine to gather up and analyise, and so they went to Ed to find out what had happened. I It seems that Ed had a bag of DDT and a bag of sugar in his ' I Chatter Box Dear Suzy, Our sister town to the north, Lynndyl, is having quite a time with the hugs, flies and the like this year. Last year the townspeople townspeo-ple got together and had the town DDTed from one end to the other, with the result that there were few bugs and those were literally on their last legs. So this year the - good people got together and decided de-cided that they would do it again. They hired Ed Bunker to come up and spray everything he could find. This Ed did, but not with the same results as last year. Immediately after the spraying the town was invaded by all kinds of bugs, flies, mosquitoes, and some rabbits. They seemed to come from Dry." All of our lives we have been drenched with proverbs, limericks, and mottoes proving that hard work thriftiness, and ambition are to the advantage of the human race. The lives of ants and bees are held up to us as ideal, while the life of a grasshopper is one of scorn and contempt. "Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise," (it also makes him a dull companion and his existence seems only an existence and not living) is one of the mottoes we are urged to follow. Now if the guys who wrote those epigrams were stacked up end to end it would be a funny sight, and there would be a lot of West Millard Mil-lard farmers whose lives would upset up-set their apple carts all over the valley. Those guys, such as B. Franklin and others, didn't hear of alfalfa seed in their times, or they would have changed the general gen-eral nature of their writings. There are by actual count 1736 farmers in West Millard whose lives would make the proverb writers out as being only one-fourth witted by such drivel, and these same farmers farm-ers could prove that life was far iinore liveable than one that featured feat-ured hard work and economy. The farmers here who got up three hours before a rooster and stayed up, worked hard, and then cut their 1st crop hay, were following follow-ing the dictates of the so-called sages. The farmers who got up when they pleased, sat in the shade, read books, and wouldn't cut their first crop hay as it was too much work and the wind would blow anyway, and lived their lives in such a manner as to make those proverb writers turn over in their graves. Now according to all of our teachings the first lot of farmers farm-ers should be healthy, wealthy and wise. But the second lot of farmers farm-ers have gone them one better, they are healthier as they get more car the day he did the spraying. He carried the sugar in case he wanted to brew up a cup of coffee some place on the road. Well, you guessed gues-sed it, he chucked the sugar in the spray machine and gave Lynndyl Lynn-dyl the works. Then he made a pot of coffee in which he used DDT o sweaten it. He suffered no ill effects and said it didn't taste a bit worse than sae coffee, which i hasn't seemed to bother too many people. I Well, I have heard of a lot of things, but never before have I heard of a sugar-coated town. (Lynndyl can now claim a place in the Hall of Fame, or at least in Believe It Or Not, as the only town that paid out good money to serve a banquet to bugs and flies. They are hoping for an early frost to knock the bugs and flies dead as the DDT should have done. Also Al-so a good hard rain would be welcome wel-come to wash the sugar coating from the homes, barns, and buildings. build-ings. Meanwhile Ed wasn't doing too much about the whole thing as he 4s experimenting on a new style of coffee, one that you leave out the coffee and use only DDT. He thinks he has a gold mine and especially in a community where the populace popu-lace is suffering from worms, ticks, chiggers and other types of body population. It is seldom that any organization organiza-tion takes in both a man and his wife. Generally the men have their own clubs, organizations and his lodges wherein it is very difficult dif-ficult for a woman to enter. On the other hand the women have the same type of orgainations where in a man is strictly taboo, and should he value his health, limb and sight, it would do well for him to stay away from the society so-ciety -of Ditch Jumpers Who Didn't Did-n't Make It. They in anyone who has attempted a jump over a ditch of water and didn't quite make the grade. Now this August society is about to induct Mr. and Mrs. Peter Johnson John-son in to their most exclusive society. so-ciety. Mr. Johnson made the qual ifications lately when he went out to gather some asparagus. b He jumped the small ditch and gathered gath-ered up a nice armful of asparagus and was going to take it back home for dinner. He came to the ditch again and knew he could jump it again as he had done before. be-fore. Mr. Johnson must have lost a lot of strength while he was gathering up the asparagus because be-cause he failed most miserably in jumping the ditch. He landed squarely in the middle with the asparagus as-paragus falling about him like jack straws. Thus he became eligible. eli-gible. Now Mr. Johnson getting in the ditch caused him to take an aversion aver-sion to water and he didn.t want to associate with the tricky stuff iany more. So when it came time to irrigate the lot fell to Mrs. Johnson John-son to get out in the fields and herd the water where it would do the most good. This she soon became be-came very efficient at and was doing do-ing a good job on the farm. But everything comes to a bad end some time or other. The bad end was a small stream of water fully-a fully-a foot wide and three inches deep. Now Mrs. Johnson had jumped that ditch so many times she had lost count, and she may have developed develop-ed a bad case1 of over confidence. Anyway she jumped and soon found herself in the bottom of the ditch, completely wet and the only dry place on her was a small patch of cloth about 3 inches square on her shoulder. The club will soon be meeting now to take these two into their society and it would be a good thing for all clubs to send an emissary em-issary to see how nicely this club operates. Also they could see the new plans for the club building and meeting grounds the society is planning. They are going to buy a couple of sand dunes west of Oak City, erect a club house on stilts in case of any floods, and then each member will wear a life preserver pre-server when the club is in actual sessions. Their theme song it "It Ain't Going to Rain Anymore," and their motto is "Keep Your Powder parts. The hay was waist high, had burrs right down to the root, and each burr was- 4 inches long, plump and well developed. Layton hurried back to the house and told Fontella about it and they cancelled three trips to family reunions re-unions just to sit and watch the seed grow. Then came the cold spell of last week and Layton was troubled with insomnia about 3 in the morning. morn-ing. He went outside all bundled up and looked at the seed. It was doing just fine and showed no sign of frost. At this point Layton made a huge error. He decided to cut ! out some sun flowers that spoil-led spoil-led the view of his seed crop and !so got a scythe and went to work. This was something he was unfamiliar unfam-iliar with and the first stroke of the scythe missed the sun flower and the scythe imbedded itself in his leg. Had the scythe been sharp he would have had to walk on side hills the rest of his life because be-cause one leg would have been a foot shorter than the other leg. But luckily for Layton the scythe was dull and so all he got was a bad injury that confined him to a camp chair in the shade of the house with a good view of the fields. Here he is recuperating at present, tasting home made root beer, and enjoying life through rose colored glasses, while his seed is out doing itself and looks like $20,000 in $20 bills. The moral of this -story is to buy a seed farm, don't work unless un-less you have to, and if you have to take it easy, and your crops will be increased seven fold. Toots. sleep, they are wealthier because they all have seed crops that are so heavy they may have to hire drag lines to harvest the crop, and they are wiser because they don t like work, have a little fun, and don't practice economy. A specific example of the latter group of farmers is Layton Bishop. He retired from work at the age of 11 Ms years and since that time has enjoyed life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Some how or other he got a farm palmed off on him several years ago. I think he traded a load of apples for it. It had some alfalfa on it and by not bothering the stand by such foolishness as harrowing, discing and the like, it increased and grew so that he had quite a nice farm of alfalfa. Well, comes the time to cut the first crop hay he and Fontella Fon-tella were busy making home made root beer. Fontella did the work and Layton just rested about the house for a couple of days so that he could be the official taster and see if she had done a good job. Well, the first crop hay went about its business and so did Lay-ton. Lay-ton. He comes from a large family, there are large families on each side of the parents, and large families fam-ilies on all of the family trees. Well, large families turn to family reunions to pass away a little time. Layton and Fontella would brew up a batch of root beer and attend these reunions, with little care or worry about whether the hay was making seed, or making hay. One day between reunions Lay-ton Lay-ton happened to go out in the field. There he saw a sight that rarely confronts a farmer in these |