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Show lp'5SS H Score One for the Grocer. H The Uttlo town of Mcrcor, PonrL, -r.1oast8 a green grocer with all the H wisdom of Solomon. The other day Ji H .oountrywoman, famous tlio county H over for tho quality of her butter, H callod on this old Silas Troovls with H the odd request that ho tako a five- pound roll of her making, giving hjr H In placo of cash an equnl amount of V butter from his own stock. Knowing, IH as ho did, that her buttor was bettor H than any ho ovor handled, and know- H lng too, that sho know that It was, H tho old follow became somowhat bus- fM plctoua and questioned tho woman's IV motive IH "Well, you bco," sho said finally H "when I come to do tho churnln' this H weok I found a mouso drowned In tho H ercain, and somehow our folks fool H kind o offish about eatln' thU hero H butter." H "And do you oxpoct mo to sell that H kind of butter to my customers?" H "Now, look hero, Silas Troovls," H said tho old woman, "my butter's bet- H tor'n any your customers over gets, H nd as for tho mouse well, what L Uioy don't know won't hurt thorn." H Tho old man took tho butter and Sf wolghed It, went to his cellar, and at- tor a little whllo roturnod with a roll H of a somewhat dlffcront shapo, but H Tory much the samo In goneral ap- H pcaranco, and this being satisfactory H to his customer, she took It and wont H out. H About a weok later tho country- H -woman happened In again. H "How'd you like tho butter?" asked H tho old philosopher. H "First-rate," roplled the woman. "Folks eat It?" ' "Yep." H 'Well, maybe you was right, aftor HJ all, about what pcoplo don't know HJ not hurtln' 'era. You et the butter H with the mouse In It, after all. I Jos' H -changed tho shapo of tho roll a Uttlo." HJ Racing Term A Hot Finish. H Told at the Yacht Club. HJ In tho Now York Yacht club they H ro tolling a Joke on a member who B droppod anchor a few days ago off B tho Navcslnk Highlands. Ho went H ashoro with his guests and vlsltod x at two or throo cottages, but through H' 3omo blunder tho electric launch ro- B tu mod to his yacht without him. Ho H saw two men In overalls and flannel HJ shirts fishing from a dory. HJ "Hoy!" shouted tho N. Y. Y. C. -'u- B tocrat, "If you'l row mo out to Lat Hj tossoI I'll glvo you a dollar." B "All right said tho mon. They row- B -ed him out and took tho dollar. HJ "Thank you," ho said, as he steppod B aboard. "I might neod you follows Bm again. If you hear a pistol shot, will Ba jrou como for mo?" B "Sure," said tho sailor men. B Noxt morning thoy heard a. shot M and rowod out to. tho yacht. Anothor B dollar was offered and taken. Later B In tho day tho yachtsman was Intro- H ducod to his two flshormon, dressed H In faultloss flannels at a tonnls club. B Drinks wcro ordered. H "Well," sajd tho Now Yorker, "you Bf must havo had a good laugh at my Be' ailstako yesterday," H "Don't montlon it," roplled one of BE -tho boatmon. "Jim and I matchod BJ lor your dollar and I won. It shall bo Bj framed and hung In tho billiard room BE lo my Boston homo, with an appro- prlato Inscription, ns tho first dollar I BJ -over caMaxl by tho sweat of my brow." H Not Angling. "Well, there Is ono thing' that can BV bo said of, Crawford. Although , ho HJ wont fishing hlmsolt on tho Sabbath, H ho didn't lot his little son fish." BT "I am glad to hear that. Wus tho J boy nt Sunday school?" "No; baiting tho hooks." H The Dancer. o I ( Llr ) HI Tvwt:i'--- I k I With coraploxlon Illto tho rose, B 'Mid tho unowR Lg Duo to powdor on her nos', Pn I Buppose ,, Sho twirls upon hor toos B la abbrovlatod clothes, B And oxhlbltn spanglod hoso I To tho boaus. I Why the Clergyman Treated. ' Thoy sat on tho ornnda of tho summer hotol In tho dusk of tho evening, gazing seaward nnd sipping through long strnws nt cooling drinks, and thoroughly enjoying their cigars. Ono nf tho mon was a noted clergyman, clergy-man, whoso-sermons nro quoted every Monday morning In many newspapers. Nautical Term. On tho bosom of a heavy swell. What ho sipped through his straw was orangeade. Ono of tho other two wop an equally well-known writer of historical novels. Tho third was a 'distinguished looking man whose occupation occu-pation was unknown to the others. All three had come together with the easy good-fellowship only possible In such resorts. What tho writer and the stranger sipped was not, orange-ado. orange-ado. "Yes," said the distinguished looking look-ing stranger, In roply to a romark from the clergyman, which had been seconded by tho writer, "head work is, indeed, very trying, and tho mon who earn tholr living by It nood a vacation now and then." He smiled a little In tho darkness, for tho clergyman nnd tho writer had lost no tlmo In announcing tholr particular professions and In descanting upon Its dlfUcultlea. "Yes, It is true," said tho novelist, "head work Is the most trying1 of all, especially when the hours nro long." "How many hours a day do you work?" asked tho stranger. "I always put In six hours' literary work every day," said tho novelist. "And you, sir?" "I find four hours of mental strain sufficient," said the clergyman. "And I work ten," .remarked the stranger. "Really? Head work?" asked tho clergyman and tho novelist In chorus. "Yes; ovory bit of It." "Special or general literature?" "Neither. I am a barber," said the "So you'vo bin coachln tho college ball team, hov yo? Wall, I guess yer bad bettor keop yer hand In this summer nn' drlvo tho 'bus down to tho depot and back." strangar sweetly, and Bo glanced almost al-most longingly at tho novollst's famous fa-mous head of hair. Tho clergyman wasl tho first to spoak, and looking nt tho novelist ho said: "Ah-h! Horn! To speak In tho vernacular, I fancy that tho tho drinks aro on us." "Thoy aro," said tho writer. Tricky Mloo Dainty Foot. "Oh, dear!" said tho girl with tho protty foot, "my shoestring has como untied again, and It feels looso onough to drop off." "Lot mo tie It for jou," said her admiring ad-miring nnd accommodating young escort, es-cort, und ho knelt upon tho stop upon which tho young woman had poised a dainty Uttlo shoo, whllo sho looked off Into tho dlstnnco, raising hor fluffy skirts ovor so Uttlo that tho otfondlng string might bo manipulated. "Can't you do It?" slid queried a mtnuto later, as tboro was no avldcnco of progross on tho stop. "Er er I" began tho young man, and tho girl looking down, blushod rosy rod, dtirkcd tho small foot back Into placo again In a Jiffy, and protested pro-tested voliomcntly that sho hnd for-gotton for-gotton entirely that sho had changed tho lacod for tho buttonod boots. A Cautious Patient Physician Your troublo Is complicated compli-cated and I think you would hotter lot mo cnll two other physicians In consuultatlon. Patlont Very woll, dorlor. But I you will havo to wait until I can call soma talent in to defend mo. |
