| OCR Text |
Show THAT REMINDS ME- j Between sneer3 at Americans for being "so supple of knee to princes" especially to one German prince the Paris press prints pretty little stories about President Presi-dent Roosevelt and the members of his family. I translate the following: As a boy at school Colonel Roosevelt was not good at reciting. Once be had to recite a piece bes-inning: "At midnight in his guarded tent The Turk lay dreaming of the hour. When Greece her knees in suppliance bent. Should tremble at his power." "Teddy" only got as far as "When Greece her knees," when he came to a halt. Twice he repeated "Greece her knees," and then he broke down. The old professor beamed on the future president pres-ident over his glasses, and remarked, with fine humor: "Grease her knees once more, Theodore; Theo-dore; perhaps she'll go then." FAILED TO IMPRESS HIM. "What kind of ducks are these?" asked the visitor In the ornitholog'cal department depart-ment at the museum. v "Labrador." said the attendant. "We paid $1,000 for those two specimens." "Gosh!" exclaimed the visitor, turning to his wife. "He says they paid a thousand thou-sand dollars for 'em. I've bought finer ducks for half a dollar many a time. What have you got 'em in that glass case for?" he inquired, addressing the guide again. ble exhibit we have Those birds wer shot in 1S56. Labrador ducks are now extinct." , "He says." explained the visitor, turr. ing to his wife once more, "they put 'en in that glass case because they haven't a pleasnnt odor. And I don't wondei at it. They were shot in 1S3G." HOW IT CAME ABOUT. "Ma, is pa rteht?" "What about?" "I asked h'rn how the bald eagle go-its go-its name, and he said it was because 'f differed from the bird of freedom, nd I asked how it differed. And be said ir differed because the bald eagle was t married bird." THE WROXG BURKE. Not Ions' asm tho mpmhew nf t'n ,.... of representatives were pronouncing eu logies on the late Representative "Robert Emmet Burke of Texas. While thr speeches were being made a man came up to one of the doorkeepers and handed a card to him. , "Take that In to Mr. Burke," he sod meaning the member from Pennsylvania. Pennsyl-vania. J "Stop it!" said the doorkeeper. "Deal!-fs "Deal!-fs too sacred a subject to be trifled with Mr. Burke is dead and they are eulogizing eulogiz-ing him inside now." "Dead!" shouted the man. "Why thats Impossible! When did he d'e-"' The doorkeeper looked pityingly at the stranger. "He died last summer, and I don't want you to work oft any of your bad jokes around here." "Last summer! Why. man. you're 'w mm mis morning. 1 mean Burke of Pennsylvania!" A very sheepish doorkeeper took in the card. COMPENSATION. "At the present price of eggs." sai the guest at the restaurant, "how car you serve a steak and an egg for cents?" aa "Well," replied the waiter, lowering his voice, "we lose on the egg. of course, but i we make It up on the steak." v hfch the guest discovered a few minutes min-utes later to be true. HOW WILLSHE TAKE IT? . First Dear Friend Do you kanw I sometimes think you will end by marrying marry-ing him. ' 'Second Dear Friend How ridiculous I nave tried to convince vou that I am not in love with him. Besicres. I could not imagine h'm proposing to me First Dear Friend-But then. heis suc-an suc-an irresponsible person sometimes. DREW THE LIXE. ,.He nt yo' make up dat nnnt Miss Black, an' 'low me to wohfw ntt00 ,rIwhat h"3 offended vo-0 TSt f,0 rib1dem. Mistah Johnson but Judsl IOW dCm t0 escoht me hSjrfe.-$- ..r PROpER DEFINITION Papa, what is a diplomatist'" hitr C'-Ute' m' Sn' whose aspects 1 |
