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Show The wisest man in the world is the one who seeks a doctors advice, pays for it, and then doesn't follow it. It is about time for the white rhinoceros of Africa to take itself off into the jungle if it would escape destruction. The express companies ought to he ardent prohibitionists. pro-hibitionists. In those states where prohibition has been enacted their busine33 is reported to have increased in-creased from 10 to 35 per cent. When the market reports say money is easy, it means there is a bunch of easy money to be picked up by the shorn lamb shearers. Snow, riin, hail, lightning thunder, sunshine j and a cloudless night. Yes, spring is here. They had a- revolution in Cuba, and as a result the army, officerc and all, are under arrest. They were seven. . Tit answer to our correspondent, we would say that - we have been unable, to verify the statement that the new $20 gold pieces will not stack. We . suggest that he try the experiment himself. We I shall be pleased to publish the results Sometimes a fellow who thinks he can choose between two evik discovers that the lesser evil is quite bad enough, and' that he fhould have chosen neither. A news dispatch from Waco, Tex., says a fellow got five years in the penitentiary for going through i a mock marriage ceremony. He will tow have time to ponder on the sacredness of mai fUge. As a harbinger of spring, however, the first robbin is somewhat of a failure. All clouds may have a silver lining, but it is a heap more comforting to have a silver dollar in your pocket. The industry of hens is commendable. Notwithstanding Not-withstanding the reduced price at which their product pro-duct is selling, they keep right on the job. . In their efforts to preserve the peace, the police ,.. ,i i -e J.. U i ought to try a muc Dcnzoaie ul ou uu u. The country is suffering just now with tariff revision. re-vision. And they call it the Payne bill. The country no more than get3 settled from the change in administrations than the baseball sca?on opens up. Bicycle riders in Salt Lake do not have to be as unkempt as Richard III to have the dogs bark at them as the ride along the street. Sometimes when a fellow doesn't know what to do he might read the constitution of the United States with profit. The marshal of Baltimore estimates that 10,000 persons in his city are pistol-toters. And Balti- 8 more is supposed to be in the civilized portion of the country. The amethyst is said to be the fashionable stone f for 1900. But that docs not affect the price of that w new Easter hat. , m t t But. on the other hand, it would not be a real j genuine, old-fashioned spring if the weather were not as unpleasant as possible. An income tax would play havoc with the pretentious pre-tentious front of the hallroom boys, anyway. However, if wishes were horses, there wouldn't be any beggars. I The visible supply of coal in the bin i3 of far more importance to the consumer than the knowl- f edge that the world's supply will be exhausted in a j century or two. S It's a peculiar fan that hasn't picked out a club which he believes will land the penant. It must be the stray dog pound has been destroyed, de-stroyed, else where could all the mongrel curs which wander the streets come from? Still, that tired feeling can be overworked considerably con-siderably in furnishing excuses for not doing the . things you ought to do. It's ail right about the April showers bringing May fiWers, but what do the April snows bring? Optimism is the way a fellow feels about some- I thing which he wishes wouldn't turn out the way he expects. . t it About this time it is a wise head that goes to , the coal man and pays his bill. He may need some ' I 1 more before the season's done. A " Notwithstanding that the Easter hat looked well ' t there is a hideous experience coming with the May 1st bill. A good woman in Philadelphia has been telling tell-ing people how to grow old. Surely people in Philadelphia do not age as rapidly as they do in ? other more strenuous cities. A proposed law in Wisconsin requires all topers to. wear a red button two inches in diameter. Why not make them wear a Scotch plaid suit? It would be interesting to know just how many times the Standard Oil company has prepared pre-pared to- pay Its saroersus scd stee a got the money, if it made any such preparation!. Still, we can hav th r.Ai-1- j l Sliced ju3t a little thinner to counterbalance their j increased costTbut not so very much thinner, I either. ( ' ! . t i j A vision of loveliness may not properly be called a sight, especially when speaking of a girl. Then, too, an entertaining conversationist makes a poor companion at the theatre. Sometimes when we find ourselves in a peculiar V predicament we suddenly realize that we have been unconscious of a great many things about us. -t- " y,.. It may properly be called fine weather when the chauffeurs contribute regularly to the city'a ex- j 1 chequer. j Sometimes a prominent citizen gets to be the ' most talked of man in the community by simply doing the talking himself. ( The Wall Street Journal says it requires much I I less skill to operate a balloon than a motor car, but that doesn't change our decided objections to j going up in the air with our limited experience. i i - ' 1 J... |