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Show SALUTE TO DI KE SPUD. Tho Democratic administration is about to confer the highest order of commod'ty nobility upon our most democratic vegetable. After next December De-cember 1st, the Irish potato will be promoted to a rank once reserved exclusively ex-clusively for John I'.arleycorn. More than fifty years ago Uncle Sum conferred con-ferred the order of the green stamp upon bonded whiskey and prescribed that it should be transported and sold only in official packages. Now the potato is to be awarded similar honors, hon-ors, and the taxation that goes with such privileges and decorations. Only Irish potatoes are ennobled, however. I The southern yam is to remain pie-' beian and untaxed. The yam will remain re-main a yap. The good old Murphy will be a sight to see when he dons official ivgalia. Everybody w'll want to see him, and see him first. What a hunch for a pageant! We suggest that the first official taxed spud be brought to Chicago by special airplane and be paraded through the streets of the city. Mayor Kelley should meet the distinguished visitor at the municipal airport and present the keys of the city. Then, mounted upon a gilded! Brink's money truck and surrounded by mounted police and field artillery,! the ennobled spud should move to- j ward the loop at the head of a procession pro-cession of United States senators, Illinois Congressmen and other statesmen. ( After appropriate addresses of a non-controversial nature in Soldier Field, the blue-blooded, green-stamped tuber should be placed in a vault in the city treasury or, perhaps, in some safer place, such as the muni- cipal library. As the agricultural capital of the United States, Chicago cannot afford to let the -historic ennoblement en-noblement of the spud pass without appropriate pageantry. Later there will be ft Roman holiday at the polls, after the price of patrician potatoes has pinched the plebes. Chicago Daily News. |