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Show A LADY AT THE PLAY. By the Man Who Paid. (It is a pleasure to re-publish the following upon the request of a number of local theatregoers, theatre-goers, who with scores of others are constantly annoyed at theatrical performances by the incessant inces-sant chatter of the ill-bred seated near them). I never heard of Such impertinence in my Ike, and I haven't Missed a first night at the theatre This winter the very idea of those actors Daring to go On With the play when I want to talk. They Don't seem to know that I m the Main tableau vivant around here, and that it doesn't Matter if other people did come To see the show, the ill-bred things daring to Look at me in that way just because they're Selfish enough to want their. Money's worth when I have So much to talk about and so little to say. Of Course I'll Giggle if I want to, even if it is an affected Scream I want people to know I'm, here And Anyone who thinks I'm doing the needle work or Snuffing the coc' is crazy with the heat . For I'm a lady, and ii the people sitting near me Don't think So They can Take a look at These furs and sparklers For if they don't signify a perfect lady, I don't know what does. Oh, Dear! I wish that music would stop, I can't hear a word I'm saying, and I know it must be interesting. What's That I'm. annoying people who want to find out "what is going On on the stage? Well just Let them leave the theatre or be educated up to A proper respect for the independence of their Superiors. Why honestly It is easy to imagine that the time will Come -when people will be required to stop chattering During the progress of a play, and I'd like to know Why anyone should go to the theatre if not to talk, Why what would the first night of a new play be worth if It weren't for people like me condescending to come well Did you hear that man in the seat behind us I thought for a moment He was referring to us, and I was going to have You request him To apologize what did he say, did you ask you Didn't hear? He was enquiring As to the best and quickest way To administer chloroform to climbing magpies mag-pies I'm glad Nobody talks about me thit way Oh, is the play over-n-wel) Let's go where we can have a nice long talk. |