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Show THE HELPER TIMES HELPER, UTAH In love with her. Dick Levery's slang It was just ordinary slang that did more to Irritate the object of his affections than all tlie boxes of candy and confessions of devotion could ever do to Iiacify her. At first Sylvia believed she cared for but finally when she found all Dick, ; ; By GERALD 8T. ETT1ENNE her admonitions against the use of common and, to her, vulgar expressions were In vain, she refused to have any(Copyright, 1111. by tho UcClur Newsthing further to do with him. Madge paper Byndicate.) she blamed for the whole thing. Dick Sylvia was a girl of higli ideals and worked in the office and thought kludge new thought." Her mind was always was too wonderful for anything. It struggling with beautiful ihnughts was from her lie caught ills habit of and philosophy, though ii imit lie con- using sluug, Sylvia felt sure. That was another reason for dislikfessed right here that altliouli Sylvia's tastes lay that way, her iniad was not ing the girl. One who disliked the faequal to It. She Just understood such vorite of the office could not hope to be things partly not that Sjlvia was popular, bo Sylvia had to content herstupid. She was really one of the clev- self with reading the books of J. Linerest and most conscientious stenog- coln Treathway on philosophical Of course, she did not underraphers in the employ of Kills & Co., and was fair to look upon ; but that Is stand them, but there was some consolation in dreaming about J. Lincoln offhand. Capital and Labor. all that could be said of the difference between capWhats as and It different face his handsome of a was admiring very type Madge and ital labor? was was on There was furthest the from New flyleaf. pictured thought girl. If L had to work and turn her mind most of the time, uml as for a real man a man who found the fine of my wages over to you, that low of livlife loathed the and who the of art and beautiful thoughts things would be labor. and the barbarous. with In everyharmony ing perfect Yes?" How her heart beat one day as she thing and everybody, well, site just On the other hand, If you had to manIn was of office the the In Get that didnt think of life way. private s of your work and turn all the enjoyment out of everyliody and ager taking dictation and she realized would be capto over that me, no wages was entered who the that visitor everything and give everybody and evLife. ital." other than ?. Lincoln of Treathway. yourself erything all the enjoyment Unmindful of her the manager as far as It Is within your power, was Cheap at tho Price. the code that Madge lived up to un- umped from his chair and ran forward a extended. Man I declare. That with welcome hand of Business First consciously. Congratulations, Lincoln, old boy. more Roresum persists in calling on She was the life of the office and me at the office and staying for hours Miss Wilson is the finest girl In my empopular with everybody hut Sylvia. make will she and know I yon my busiest time. I should liks ploy, during Sylvia could not make out Madge at happy. She has told me all about It." to be rid of him and yet I dont want all. At times she seemed Isn't she wonderful?" Lincoln ex- to offend him. and, on unexpected occasions, came claimed Second Business Ditto Why not Why, she enthusiastically. out with real philosophy that astounded the other girl, but whatever good ust seems to have been made for me. try loaning him five dollars? y nature and bright Impression that made on Sylvia was Her what I need to Ideas of are life jnst quickly banished by Sludge's use of take me out of myself. Did you ever slang. WHY HIS anything so original as her slang? That was the bugbear or poor Sy- hear too HEAD IS clever, though, to be called lvias life. She would just sit hack and Its BANDAGED. more like It's witty phrases. gasp nnd hold her head when Madge slang. Is the most wonderful girl In WIfey: Henry, let loose some of her new versions of Madge if some bold, the world." I should worthe English language. bad man were For a long time after she had ry," Have a heart, i'll say that it retreated long, to kidnap mo office the from Sylvia private Is and such horrible expressions were would you offer down and thought it over. The resat mild to some of the crimes against a reward. narbeen had views Webster that floated o easily from alization that her I Certainly, row suddenly dawned upon her. MakMadges pretty, laughing lips. always reward life worth while and enjoying it ing The others said Madge wus original, to the utmost was what counted, after those who do me a favor. but Sylvia could see no other interpreall. She had ruined her own happiness tation of such a manner of speech but a false idea of what real living commonness and utter lack of propri- by was. Slowly the tears Btarted down ety. her cheeks. Papa and Clara. It would not have been so bad, SylClara wears fine silken hose was Dick. They were It "Sylvia!" via thought, If Madgg bad confined her alone in the office and there was a note Purchased with her papas rocks; But the old man always toes slang to use among her associates, but of sympathy In his tone that seemed to socks. Around In when she persisted in using it even in draw her to him. the presence of the manager and the Tearfully she confessed her new disEnvy. president of the firm, that about dont care whethI Dick, Oh, to live over, recovery. I life had If my as was as climax far Sylvia capped the or swear or anything marked Mr. Dustin Stax, I'd be a use er you slang concerned. What did It matter If so long as It Is you, she blurted finalmoving picture star. Madge could express herself better But you have amassed wealth." than any other girl in the office just ly. Wont you even care if I get cafeYes. But a moving picture star can Even when by resorting to slang? a kiss, dear? to and teria myself help a million dollars a minute withmake means was of securing an the Madge out having the finger of scorn pointbonus for the staff he laughed happily. extra twenty-dolla- r "I should worry!" The expression ed at him as a profiteer." i Sylvia could find no excuse for her. sounded strangely new on the lips of .r? ; The Incident Is worth relating. raised them to Dicks. For two weeks every stenographer Sylvia as she Kind Old Gentleman What a fine In the employ of Ellis & Co. worked Our Ain" Homo Folk. little fellow, to be sure. Fathers right-han- d nights to finish some special work. Of If we hope to find life worth while course a promised bonus was looked man, aren't you? must make the best of existing conwe Fine Little Fellow Naw, you poor forward to anywhere from thirty to a hundred dollars was figured on by ev- ditions and of the persons around us. old minnow, I'm left handed. be neither ery glrL Picture their disappointment Some of them may nor brilliant, but If we find them when the bonus turned out to be The Cook's Place. considerate they are Does your wife know her Willis paltry ten dollars each. Every girl thoughtful and Of (Sylvia Included), excepting Madge, worthy of our highest regard. place? takto be is very pleasing got angry and mumbled to them- course, it Glllls You bet. She realizes that It selves about the unfairness of the en up" by "really smart" folk, but is above everybody In the household sometimes this prestige lives only for thing. the baby. Judge. go their except Not so Madge. The minute she dis- a day, and then those persons ns and our covered the extra ten dollars in her way, completely forgetting Up to Date. them. to entertain efforts strenuous pay envelope she was back to the cashWe dont hear much nowaHewitt like the blue bird of fable, ier, and said, in a tone lond ennogh for Happiness, found at home "steam roller" In poliabout the among our days is oftenest the manager and president to hear: tics. aln home folks. Well, some people are so mean they Jewett No; I suppose they have nose their to save would sing through now. tanks French Villages Forever Ruined. the wear and tear on their false teeth, Many ruined villages of France canNow, Mr. Ventilator," (the cashier's Enviable. be rebuilt, according to the comnot but name was Vanslater, Madge had man the first straw hat with The on reconstruction. Vaux, near looks rather funny." persisted in nicknaming him from the mission which was so always deheroically Yes. In addition to being comfirst), do yon think this a fair bon- Verdun, and now the of one Is these, fended, finaus? Or, she added, perhaps the fortable himself, he helps to cheer up historic hamlets, ls giving us our bonus In installments." mayors of two other who are feeling miserable." the people Douamont and Fleury, have Informed Madge was never impudent. Slang who have taken from her lips to the ears of anybody their In different of France, parts refuge sounded but Sylvia perfectly all that the German has made them exiles THE right. She was gifted with a personal- for life. The soil cannot be cultivated, SUPREME ity that could almost have put across and the ruins are so full of hidden TEST. profanity. Is that Impossible. rebuilding It must fee Before Mr. Vnnslnter could volunteer dangers awful to have an answer to her surprising question, Humor in a Dictionary. death staring the manager had come from his office. Johnsons dictionary, says the latest you in the face. You are quite right, Miss Wilson,' writer on the life of Mr. Boswells Huh! Did you he apologized. There was a mistake ever get home illustrious friend, often expressed this week. An additional twenty dol- his personal prejudices and point of after midnight and have your lars will be Included In the envelopes view. He enjoyed having a dig" at wife stare at next payday." Scotland, and so when he defined you. "How eucyllptls of you I" It was a oats" he wrote, a grain which in senseless expression, but isn't all slang England Is generally given to horses, senseless? And then the way Madge but in Scotland supports the people." Bald It, It expressed a whole lot. In defining lexicographer , he looked while the others gasped, Sylvia just humorously at himself, and set down Willowy? longed to applaud. Every one of them a maker of dictionaries, a harmless Wood is hard, or wood Is soft, Trees are old, or sometimes new. and Grub street he described knew that such an outburst from any drudge Bo I should liks to know for sure one of them would have won Instant as the name of a street in London, The quality possessed by yew. small dismissal, bnt with the exception of much Inhabited by writers of Cartoons Magazine. nnd that realized dictionaries temporary Madge's histories, Sylvia they personality counted more with the firm poems." And his definition of netPleasant Belief. and somehow her slang seemed to work" as anything reticulated or deWho is that?" cussated at equal distances, . with In make up part of that personality. The census enumerator." to was bad terstlccs between the Intersections, It Poor Sylvia! enough Well, we can answer his table of definition as a needing have to work with a girl that used became famous questions with an easy mind. It ain't to define slang in about every fifth sentence more definitions like the Income tax." Louisville Science Monitor. without having a man who used slang was not original Sylvia and Slang 3DEUGTT5 J Supreme Court May Have Last Word on the Treaty In the heat of the controversy lietween the president and the League of Nations policy, the general public seems to have overlooked the fact that there may be a third party to the controversy by whom the final and conclusive decision may be rendered. This third party is the Supreme court of the United States. If the senate falls to ratify, the treaty becomes void by that action, and no appeal to the Supreme court WASHINGTON. would be necessary. If the League of Nations covenant shall be ratified by the senate It will be Incumbent on congress Immediately to make an appropriation to cover the United States' portion of the expenditure deemed necessary to establish and provide for the maintenance of the league's secretariat, to be set up In Geneva. As soon as Congress seeks to do this, the taxpayers' action will be commenced on the ground that the United States, by its Constitution, Is Inhibited from participation In such a convention, certain obligations assumed by the United States under the covenant being in direct contravention of provisions of the Constitution. If the court should decide that the objections raised were sound, and that the covenant of the League of Nations actually would. In effect, amend the Constitution, the treaty could not be carried out until the Constitution had been amended in the way the Constitution Itself provides it shall be ameuded, namely, by the submission of an enactment of a federal amendmenr. Several persons are ready to bring this test action, among them being Ilannls Tuylor, minister to Spain under McKinley. The right and duty of the Supreme court Is defined in section 2 of article 8 of the Constitution. When Old Dame Nature Gets Ready to Scatter Seed lu-- at Madison, reddish brown color. Similar effects were noticed elsewhere' as far east as Vermont and New Hampshire. This strange phenomenon was examined by several scientists. They found that a very fine dust had fallen, apparently all over the eastern United States. The strangest thing about this fall of dust was that It occurred In a region the greater part of which lay under snow and had been under snow for many days. It was evident, therefore, tliat the dust must have traveled hundreds. If not thousands, of miles. Tlie study made by government scientists shows that this assumption was correct Samples of the dust hove been analyzed, with the result that it was shown to be composed of minerals found, not In the North where the dust fell, but In the Southwest. The scientists assert positively that this dust came all the way from Arizona, New Mexico and Kansas, being borne by those large movements of the air which cause our variations of weather. Scientists say that this migratory dust Is worthy of careful study, as It carries germs, spores of plants and Important elements of soil. Washington to Drive 15,000 People Out of Alleys noted the world over for Its cleanliness and order, has WASHINGTON, s of these inhabitants living in filthy alleys. must dwellers vacate their unfortunate These colored. presare alley people ent homes a year after the signing of peace with Germany, when an act of Nine-tenth- congress abolishing the alleys us places of residence becomes effective. Washington now faces the big problem of how to provide housing accommodations for these people In an already overcrowded city. Congress will be asked to help solve the problem by appropriating $6,000,000 to erect 8,000 sanitary homes. About ten years ago the Alley Improvement association began a fight for the elimination of inhabited alleys In the District of Columbia. Other civic bodies joined the movement. As a result of their combined efforts a bill was passed by unanimous vote of both houses of congress wiping out the alley evil. The date set for the evacuation of the alleys originally was July 1, 1918, but because of the great congestion In this city due to war conditions, congress found It necessary to extend the date. The association Is of the opinion that the building of 8,000 small houses, In view of the high cost of building, the class of tenants concerned and the limited time before the law becomes operative', cannot be left to private enterprise. The government must help, Just as In other countries, such ns England, Belgium and Scotland, the governments have done under similar r three-fourt- three-fourth- good-hearte- nt over-clev- fellow-citizen- s, Go to Russia, Young want to share In the Man, to Make a Fortune commercial and Industrial developlanguage, and also Russian geography, resources and trade methods. This Is the advice of the bureau of education to young Americans. Russia is in chaos now, but it cant afford to stay In chaos much longer. And whether It emerges a socialist state, a social democracy or a republic, its 180,000, OCX) people must be supplied with the necessities of life ; it must be equipped with railroads and factories; Its forests and mines must be utilized. And all or most of this must be done by traders and engineers and capitalists from the West, for Russia has neither trained men, money nor tools. Russia is the world's greatest opportunity, and the fact Is apparent to most of the world. Americans seem least nwnre of the Russian opportunity, but the bureau of education and the federal board for vocathgml education have been doing what they can to overcome this Indifference. Surveys have been made In 250 American cities with a view to establishing evening and day in the Russian language. Special textbooks have been prepared, in 'which Russian banking, trade and shipping terms take the place of the hat of the gardener" and the "green umbrella of my aunt's grandfather." For men of every trade and profession, and especially for young men whom adventure compensates for hardship, Russia Is the opportuuity of the YOU greatest IFment of the Immediate future, study the Russian future. s. happy-go-luck- Wls., that the snow which lay on bright yellowish tint. At the same time the people of Florence, In the same state, were surprised to find that the snow looked dusty" and had acquired a noticed one morning ITtheWAS ground had acquired a sub-ect- er hs |
