| Show i I 1 i I 1 air I LAFESTYLES Lftvp1)Kk: I 1 i I 237-- 2 075 Januar' SUNDAY ' MYi4) CENTS 1 '' I - I Zht iatt fait letpant ---- - - 7 - 12 1992 F7 ' 4"' — I I've got a theory about what's caused the decline of moderate mainstream political discussion in the United States I think I know why most Americans seem increasingly incapable of discussing polities with any degree of civility Ws not the fault of the politicians the news media or the public schools These institutions merely reflect the problem on good days and exacerbate it on bad ones No if you want to find out why people can't talk politics all you have to do is look around your dining room table tonight We are what we eat physically: we are how we eat political- sms - - - y 110- - i I - 10101 E -- - d - - 1 - 4tanno- r' It 011 How you ask have our dining habits caused the rapid decline in the health of political expression? Study after study has shown political socialization like charity begins at home And -" "' ''''"-- ' - - one or - MA - - - gb''''''4' 7-1 i 1 1 0 0 ILE "Bud" Scrugp J0 AVIti -- 1 0t - 111101101000 the kitchen and dining room are the town square of the American family It is at the din ner table the art of good political debate should be learned and practiced Every family in America has certain rituals associated with meal times These dinner-tablcustoms range from the formal to the hectic A few families dine at the same time in the same seats with the same commitment to ronverse every evening But most of us tolerate a consumptive commotion that resembles a pit stop more than a meal If we barely have time to shout out where we have to be in 10 minutes between gulps of food as we rush past family members how can we hope to teach or learn the basic rules of civic dialogue? Its no wonder television news programs and campaign commercials feel like they have to blurt out anything worth saying in less than 60 seconds if that's the way we converse in our homes It should not be surprising that whatever the variation meal times — especially supper — are a critical and defining element of our socialization process I had the good fortune to be reared in a famrituals instructed me in ily whose dinner-tablthe art of argument I am not talking about bickering over who got the last drumstick or whose turn it wag to do the dishes I mean real debates about issues and candidates and public policy Every evening we would sit down to eat just as the nightly news was about to begin Our dining area was adjacent to the living room and the television was set up so if we tipped back just right everyone at the dinner table could see the screen My father who married a little late in life retired from 24 years' service in the military while I was in first grade He was born and reared in Georgia — a conservative Methodist who began a second career working at a shipyard not far from our Seattle home My mother born and reared in New Jersey was a Catholic who worked off and on as a registered nurse To this day I am not sure about my mother's political orientation All I remember is she rarely agreed with my dad The '60s and early '70s proved an ideal setdebates There was ting for these dinner-timcertainly no shortage of hot topics I remember vividly first watching and then participating in intense arguments about Vietnam civil rights abortion the Cold War Watergate and what was then called ecology" It was like having supper on the set of a PBS special every night — the McLaughlin group with dinner plates It was in this family context I learned some important lessons about discussing debating and disagreeing Lessons with which all too many today seem unfamiliar Lessons I regularly need to relearn myself I learned it was all right to disagree with someone you cared about In fact it seemed to be a way to let each other know we took one another seriously We learned one way to show respect was to expect an opinion to be backed by facts or reasoning or shared values I learned personal attacks were no substitute for a good argument that they were usually an attempt to distract attention from a weak position Questioning the integrity or decency of a family member was understood to be though I have to admit challenging one another's judgment or thoughtfulness was considered fair game Early on I learned the difference between "arguing" and being "argumentative" The former is verbalized thought the latter is a tactic used to intimidate others from expressing contrary opinions — a bully's substitute for brains I learned there was no shame in changing your mind I witnessed adamantly advanced arguments undergo refinement and reconsideration and on rare occasions the initial position was even abandoned — all before dessert To this day r feel a sense of appreciation even gratitude toward those who have the to let go of untenable positions I learned that humor was often the best escape from an argument that had become unpleasant or unresolvable Letting each other off the hook with an amusing comment or a marginally relevant joke was preferred to rhetorically "going in for the kill'' exFinally I learned arguments were an tremely effective means of gaining a better understanding about the opinions and information possessed by others as well as by ourselves Arguments in my family were a kind of game the end of which was not winning but learning I learned all these lessons in the midst of meat loaf and macaroni and cheese The dining room not the soap box stands out in my mind as the symbol of meaningful political expression My mom's cooking and my dad's table manners were only average but I'm telling you they knew how to argue Based on our dinnertime discussions it is no wonder all three of Column I See - i N: '"'"‘ 11P' 4 1N ‘ i J- t ar 1 77: eaa 'k -- g- ---- 74 -11113r3r-::25- 1 "41410111 ' - - IOW 4 - ' I LOErmallintr' AAR t‘ ogt - o0 r7--- IL 7---- "a1P4t 41: - )111111001060 iimPA) mp -A- ab ENEW ix emota7S e- - I - --- '"41 - efi1 dr-- 6 RIM— Ik- V 1-- f- e A0111 41! I- x u"1"r-g""1110C- -- reMII - ' Ale it t' : 0 it 1(1 1 I t mangeo—jft"' t 10cb 1 --- A- A ilk tilN Ittyj t - - ly 1 ) ( 01 Aa 4 -- - 4P0xt Kristen Ulmer Salt Lake spent two months biking across India most of the time alone The adventure often under the toughest physical emotionnl circumstances is compatible with what she does for a living — building strength and confidence for extreme skiing Neither r 0 nor mud nor snow keep this e skiercyclist from seeking adventure By Judy ' -- - Ulmer athlete extraordinaire grew up skiing Pats Peak near hometown Henniker NH She was lured to Utah to ski Snowbird and study international politics at the University of Utah What she does extreme ski is best defined by where and how skiing the unskiable jumping the unjumpable back country "Radical-terraiskiing" is a definition She began jumping off cliffs as a model "dragged into the scene" by the film medium eager for a woman star Retired mogul specialist she won't compete in the 92 Winter Olympics' new freestyle competition "I can't give 100 percent to two n things" She makes a living— "Not great but it pays the bills" — extreme skiing for Rap Entertainment ski films Warren Miller's Skiing Extreme video series modeling advertising for publications "Last year was big I was swamped I had no time between assignments I free skied three days "If you read ski magazines watch movies and videos you probably have seen me If it's a spectacular advertising jump I probably did it "There are good skiers but they don't take risks and they haven't taken the next step which I have There's really no competition from women I compete with men" As haphazard as what she does flanks out of contro l! with almost as much time airbornd as earthbound Ms Ulmer plots each move judging takeoffs looking for safe landings ! De Ar Ann Landers: Before I tell you tvhat is on my mind I want to malte it clear I am a woman — and let me:add a wife and mother I should alv tell you that even though my husbard is a career Navy officer the views expressed in this letter are mine not his I have always believed in equal rights for women and I still do but the truth is women and men are not now nor will they ever be equal They can thank (or blame) Mother :Nature There are now approximately 8600 : 1 11 i t 1 ' i t liri t I! (""-----"-- : rI 4 11 N747-116- ) adrI - Ms Ulmer came to Utah to ski Snow i 63 bird attend the University of Utah "I walk away a lot'c In many ways the India trip was a practicality An extended bike trip would strengthen a weak knee and scratch a travel itch "I have a travel bug If unfulfilled I'm anxious India was the craziest most challenging spectacular and spiriShe found sponsors — The North Face outdoor clothes and equipment the Salt Lake REI (Recreational Equipment Inc) Sling Shot an expensive light flexible mountain bike Smith ski goggles and glasses and Power Bar "Athletic Energy Food" I "My business is know how to keep sponsors happy I brought the same crossover confidence to a solo India bike tour that I bring to 'I can ski that terrain' mode She assumed a travel-survivespecially after two companions had to go home "I became indestructible No one could get inside and bother me" She rode where some had never seen a white woman She ate Indian food — red beans curry lentils rice potatoes the local bread chapati — in restaug rants with dirt floors fires She supplemented her diet with a bike pannier full of Power Bars She carried and used an REI water filter Each evcow-dun- ening's routine included washing clothes She carried two sets Loneliness rode with her "I like being alone but I'm not a loner I couldn't talk share or depend on anyone I had myself — only Life was constantly in my face" Travel strengthens her — two trips to 14 F s 41A' rf :44 110" '4- lot -- fflh?' et '("741' t Cs g - °- r—1 ' i ' ' '44 re Linde nittboter An extreme skier Ms Ulmer goes where few have gone — jumping off foot cliffs skiing out at the bottom in the rugged back country Asia two to Africa three to Europe "This was the most powerful I had to stay on top be at my best on guard or something bad could happen" Moving from the heat of the plains to the cooler mountains with fewer flies and people was relaxing "Richer environment happier people less craziness The people are wonderful spiritual happy I smiled a lot Many wanted a connection Taking a picture was a great gift It meant I paid special attention to someone There were euphoric moments Times so powerful so happy and full I had to stop totally overwhelmed Some of the happiest moments of my life came in a country where my connection was smiling and touching" The trip was not without problems She became ill lost 20 pounds in four days came home early and still has stomach problems An Indian dentist pulled a bad tooth "I broke some gruy's fingers who tried to break into my room I was alone but prevent this from happening My husband says "After two months at sea there is no such thing as a homely - ‘tr-vo- 40i' ': had 40- - no privacy Eyeballs watched through holes in walls I hit a little old woman with my bike She disappeared before I could help her I crashed and broke my little finger There was no electricity no phones no toilet tissue no water Ten times a day traffic tried to run me off the road" Although the trip seems separate from skiing it wasn't "The trip provided mental power and strength necessary for extreme skiing Extremestunt skiing is unnatural for women but the challenge to conquer levels of fear can be learned and practiced "I'm a survivor I'm strong and I have endless possibilities" She's not through — skiing or will Next trip probably fall hap-travel-- combine two loves "I'm going to Nepal There are Himalayan peaks that have not been skiied I'll make the first ski descent And there's a bike tour in Africa I'm thinking about" burden on Navy's resources writer says t 4t "(r) 1 v A k tual place" ' 4 AiLl ? 1 4 i' I o I' r it traltIOOM i (Z (t 00001 Th ) fre 'Omen at sea are a ' i ' Ms F-- 9 rsot '1 1 019-V- N What counts is doing it She finished an epic venture of monsoon rain oppressive heat mud terrorism bloody religious festivals mob scenes tiger threats dog attacks rats bugs charging buffalo poverty disease and crashes self-contr- 0 o '1 40-fo- off-limi- If" k B Rollins For Kristen Ulmer of Salt Lake City cliffs and out at the skiing off bottom or biking 1500 miles across India go together They're her life — not death — wishes Granted this fall's trip from Kathmandu Nepal through India to the Pakistan border was an insane wacky weird two months -- t y THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE e ''' 1 0 1 Ann Landers - women serving in the US Navy Every year nearly 20 percent of the women who pull ship duty get pregnant Although fraternization is strictly against the rules it is not possible to woman" It has been estimated that within five years 50 percent of those who serve on American ships will be females Training for the Navy is expensive Pregnant women often need extra training when they go from ship duty to shore jobs Maternity leave adds up to an extra burden to the taxpayers Ifs not fair I am not opposed to women being in the armed services but there is plenty they can do with out being put on ships with men Thanks for letting me have my say — JL in Norfolk Va Dear EL: Your points are valid but I'm sure there are some females out there who are itching to respond I promise to print the best letter Readers? Gem of the Day: Telling the truth is so much simpler You never need to turn yourself inside out trying to remember what you said Gem of the Day: Why can't life's biggest problems hit us when we are 17 and know everything? t I 1 '''ftbotama1400 hoPiogOlvpie PNWInfe011111eMida likMAIMENEMORIZIMMEN11180VMMOV |
