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I The CatWhoW01talol Not lieACeiebrity I decided not to run for President after all Howev- Polar Bear did not like anything about being a celebrity For one thing celebrities have to meet a When Cleveland Amoty's "The Cat Who CameforChristmas" became er to reassure Polar Bear I reminded him that com- pared to any celebrity he would care to name he would undoubtedly be subject to meeting the least number great many new people and Polar of and Bear like new not did strangers After all he would never meet anyone on people A)i hle the street for the ssimple reason that he did not go on like he did not qm A having particularly the street As for his having to meet people on say a to meet them He already had met trip this was almost nonexistent Basically Polarr Bear's everyone he wanted to meet and idea of travel was strictly limited to my apartment— in fact he dearly would have liked the kitchen on the south the living room on the west to subtract some of these For the bedroom on the north and his balcony on the east another thing being a celebrity —and only when there was nobody else at any of these would mean a change in his life locations When there was he preferred being in the and Polar Bear did not like change bedroom under the very middle of the bed And there He was when you came right down ' he met no one but an occasional bug to it a very Republican cat: He ONCE UPON A TIME BEFORE His balcony was when you came right down to it did not like anything to happen that the one place where he would have to learn to handle had not happened before you were bom the world was very z n 14vit cold and dark Just the same there the From the beginning I realized problem because he was high-ye- n were all sorts of creatures roaming it was not going to be easy to open ly visible to people on the sidewalk I bad up the earth and in the oceans Them close to half of my balcony to him I reached my half his closed little mind even to the were for example dinosaurs But from a door but his was reached only by a bedroom idea of being a celebrity But the in This window—and it was securely chicken-wire- d one thing there was not and that A way I went about it was if I do L 11111C 111111a was so that he could pursue his lifelong interest in was celebrities There wasn't so MA' say so myself masterful I did not much as a one of them roaming but while pursuing it (in all senses of start with the more difficult areas nommonommmmommono of celebrityhood Instead I started ornithology around anywhere the word unfortunately) he would not fall off the The word you see hadn't been invented yet You with one relatively easy area—the 1111111111111111111111111111111111111101 balcony and plunge to the stre& could say about one of the dinosaurs who was better I realized that when it came to recognition factor known than the others that he or she had fame or had I gave him the example that being a celebrity on this balcony wetzt Polar Bear would have to be on if after two appearances on The Morcelebrity But to say that he or she was a celebrity would have been just as odd as if ou had said that he ton Downey Jr Show then at the not hihsabveisotr—l hesaitateht: wsaitslarryits or she was a fame York in New of height popularity When the word "celebrity" as we know it today bad at parties—then at least his City I had been recognized on the came along however—when you could both have celeb- New York streets by no less than best average behavior He would four strangers in a row a couple have in a word to show the flag rity and also be a celebrity—it seemed that just about of whom even Ihad a not totally The very least I expected was that everyone you could name wanted to be a celebrity: unfavorable assessment of my peron the occasion when a stranger gangsters and bank robbers and stock manipulators te and formance By the time I met my called up to him from the sidewalk people and even qew York Yankee fifth I was firmly considering he would give some kind of ac- principal owners Fathers and mothers wanted their e children if they couldn't grow up to be President at ! With this of running for President ImeAviedgement A sn least to grow up to be the very next best thing—a cvtt old the head or wave of person however I already was so aycipuaai l's as it was done in e rya celebrity halfway through my by then thor- ‘ These was though one remarkable exception to ion would do c oughly practiced deprecatory this rule His name was Polar Bear the cat I rescued wave when I suddenly realized that I did not of course get what! in a New York City alley on a snowy Christmas Eve there was no necessity for it wanted If someone called his t 104 4 ‘46' 12 years deed the man had nothing to say events ' name he would either glare down 1 ago! described this and in Polar Bear's life in a book and because of this ' about my performance at all In-fat them—the very worst kind of J tj 4--and having received hundreds of letters he had stead he made only a brief celebrity-recognitio- n behavior— ' thrust upon him not greatness but meat "Your hair" he said looked that so or the next worst he would total- ' often in our modern world passes for greatness 'Irefer fine" It was then that I realized 5--': ly ignore them The problem was of course to celebrity who he was—my barber that he simply didn't have a sin v14 a national in 1987 the author and his feline companion Polar Bear were catapulted into the public spotlight Now their experiences—some gratifying others cataclysmic—are chronicled in a new book "The Cat and the Curmudgeon" Inthis excerpt Amory describes the catastrophe that occurred when he tried to get his reluctant friend to face the media best-sell- er I reallAzd dd celebrity-recognitio- be easy to open 2 But the way 1 tzbout it was dI do say so azasterful - real-esta- 04 1 1 1 an state-somethi- ng -t tc-- i ' BY COVER AND ASIDE PHOTOGWIES — 31 Li CAMP CLEVELAND AMORY PAGE 8 OCTOBER 14 1990 PARADE MAGAZINE IpM11111 yom(111111111 |
