| Show 0 ! Ell HELP OTHERS YOU CAN ATIMEr1OLOVE V ' how 0 047ttt 4' well-inform- you are about how families feel when they lose a child you begin to believe it Lo those many years of moments with parents and with "my kids" listening to them begging to be spared and the feeling of complete futility you have in the bottom of your stomach and your heart Then Labor Day rolls around just as surely as birds fly and I find myself expounding on the plight of these innocent victims and doing it in such a way that the pain I feel tells me I really know all there is to know about all of that Well! never knew I always thought I did but I never knew at all not until May 5th of this year when my wife "Sam" and myself were running around buying all the baby clothes we saw—and found out that we had lost our baby Oh we weren't unique I know that It happens every day to men and women and somehow they all over the world recover and try again andor reach so far back to make themselves strong and whole again But what I think was unique was that I had never seen two people so in love with life and the joys it provides I never saw two people as happy and carefree and childlike in their conduct and how their hearts were beating I remember that we were in Paris (which is the closest thing to heaven for me) where I was scheduled to appear in three concerts at the Olympia Theater As the old Indian said in Little Big Man "My heart soared like an eagle" the joy I felt being in Paris performing for the most exciting audience any entertainer would be proud to appear before There wasn't anything that could top that That is until I came back to the hotel after rehearsals and Sam told me she had had her pregnancy test and the report had just come in She was indeed pregnant and we were going to have a baby! That was the first time that my feet ever felt like they weren't making contact with the floor My head my heart my gut and my goose flesh were working overtime and I didn't : 0 HEN YOU SPEND 40 years telling the American people just heart-wrenchi- 1 v Inv 0- i 41A''t 144 ()0 a t e0e7"Sr"1"147 P ! :1: : 1 ) ) Ao I V r ' g 4! :':' 4:::e''1""6 (9 tz I'm aware of the "try again syndrome" and I'm sure we will Now the Oh questions infiltrate your brain and you come close to driving yourself crazy with weird absurd and sometimes stupid questions: "What went wrong?" "Why us?" "Didn't we pray enough?" "Were we not worthy enough?" And what if our baby survived and became born: "Would it be healthy?" "Would it have two arms and two legs that worked correctly?" And who's to say we were immune to the dangers that lie ahead when you de- cide you want that baby? Didn't the par- ents of all "my kids" People x Nkx I I have those ques- tions and doubts 34 N tic) and didn't they want the baby well and healthy just as we did? Of course they did Now the ques- tions again: "Why them?" "Didn't God hear their prayers?" 1 4) sisfil) (001411 t:!v f: Il khai r 7 rebound 47'7:1zi "Didn't they pray enough?" "Where did they fail?" Are their ques- dons so different than ours? Not at all The only difference is that they went to term in their pregnancy and had a baby that and are stronger once they have hope of good things to come through wasn't as it should have been They had a dystrophic child Didn't their world crumble? Didn't they stop running and jumping for joy? Sure they did So who is better off—those who have the imperfect babyor those of us who lost the baby? Well it isn't a contest The Man Upstairs has a plan and we are the engineers who are here to carry out that plan whatever it is and as long as He is running the show We go on when He tells us It's strange—yet we are brought up not to question the Lord and I guess I'd be held for perjury if were asked if I'd questioned God when we lost the baby research Jeny Lewis and his wife Sam He recalls the day they shared their happiness Paris stage over her pregnancy—only to lose the child soon afterward know what to do with myself But then it was show time and I had to stroll out on the stage of the Olympia and appear the professional entertainer and do a show that a lot of people paid money to see Well I did the show and after the curtain calls it was time to thank a great audience for making it a night to remember But rather than just the thank you an entertainer enjoys making I felt that exciting and anxious feeling that I BY on a wanted to share my happiness with that audience that just had made me so happy So I introduced Sam to that French audience and announced that I was to be a papa! The applause was deafening and we exited from that stage two of the happiest people in the world Then to think all that happiness is gone and we will never meet our baby diminishes me beyond comprehension jam-pack- JERRY LEWIS COVER PHOTOGRAPH BY EDDIE ADAMS PAGE 4 SEPTEMBER 3 1989 PARADE MAGAZINE |
