OCR Text |
Show SOUTHERN UTAH NEWS WEDNESDAY APRIL 5, 2000 Community 4 S' Domestic Blitz tv By Dixie Brunner of species SpringBrunner brings outwearall manner suits a short but by Dixie (this is a repeat) Spring brings remarkable in nature. There are obvious and exciting signs many renewal. The leaves ap- pear once again, flowers bloom. ..the arrival of warmer weather is being heralded. Mother Earth doesnt have a corner on the spring change market. Other living things are experiencing dramatic changes, as well. Lets take an look at one such animal variety...the Homo sapiens by its more com- name: humans. in-dep- th Humans undergo radical sea-sonal changes. In fact, species observation is difficult due to its winter hibernation. When the thermometer falls, they retreat to cozy den...often not to be seen again till spring. The den is often appointed with many crea- ture comforts, making the long wintermoretolerable.andinsome instances, even luxurious. Occasionally you may observe a few unlucky Homo sapiens whove ventured out in winters cold only to stall their transportation modes in a snow bank or exercise their jumper cables. There are few rogues who insist on braving the elements of winter. Some even appear to enjoy the cold, playing and participatingin outdoor forms of recreation. Although not an authority, I do feel this propen- sity for hanging out in the cold is the result ofa nasty genetic muta- tion. Other humans snowbird) migrate to warmer cli- mates, eluding Mother Natures icy grip. Humans come into their glory each spring, however. At no other time during the year can such a wide variety be observed. Homo sapiens gravitate to the great out- in droves, happy and en-thusiastic over the mild weather, (sub-specie- s, having to swimming or out-dosummer wear in only a few weeks evokes genuine ter- ror. They are often seen franti- cally exercising and consuming powered diets to lose the winters accumulated rolls. With the onset of spring, perhaps the most prevalent human specimen (especially common in or the suburbs) is the Grillus Addictus . The Grillus Addictus has an insatiable need to charcoal-broil all food taken for consumption. The odd creature is often observed wearing ridicu-mo- n lous aprons while fanatically fanning small fires in barbecue grills. Grillus Addicti arent known for their intelligence, however. Several cases have been'reported when theyve sisted steadfastly on tending their grilling food, metal tongs in hand , during electrical storms, in-the- period each spring disappear soon thereafter. Where does our fine ture high tail it to when summer rolls around? Back to the conditioned den, of course, two-legg- ed crea-chang- 'V Another Homo sapiens species common in springtime is the LawnoLunatico. These especially odd creatures have a fanatic urge to care for the grassy area surrounding their dens. This may a sound like simple to undertaking...but them, quite the opposite is true. They mow, mulch, flower, weed, fertilize, irrigate and water their lawns, practically every day. You have to again question the sensibility of these creatures when you see the futility of their calling. They do all this to make their lawn grow only to mow it all down as soon as it gets growing well. Lawno .y tea, Daisy girl scout troop es air-oflif- es ) A The Daisy Girt Scout Troop 1397 earns their Daisy Pins. Great job girls! Pictured front row Acacia Sharrow, Victoria Renneis, and Nikolett Button. Back row Brookelan Bulloch, Cassalyn Torgerson, Zoe McAlear, Megan Buck, LaToya Baca, and Cady Taylor. Not pictured: Hannah Zweifel. L-- L-- EIoAoIv3o Ajpipflafflffii Commercial and Residential Service, Sales and Repair Major Applunces Coolers RefrigeratorsAC Swamp ir Furnaces Water Heaters Heat Pumps New & Reconditioned Appliances Phone: Fax: WhiriDool 520-643-79- 60 520-643-79- 63 - 565 N Main . Fredonia az 86o22 The Guys are still lonely, but the Dog got lucky ! Lunaticiaretrulyaddictedtotheir calling, often experiencing a phoric state when in the presence of grass clippings. The sight of a good compost heap sends shivers down their spines. I heard of one particular Lawno Lunatico that actually laid chalk lines down on his lawn to insure his mowing in straight rows. On occasion you may observe There are many different Homo sapiens specimens avail- children dressed too heavily for able for watching in the spring, the rising thermometer. Theyre Observation of these strange easy to spot, sweating profusely creatures can provide fascinat- - while wearing corduroy pants flannel shirts. ing sport. The following are a and long-sleev-e few of the more colorful variet- These are most likely the unfortunate offspring of Parento ies Ive observed. Its important to note, humans Procrastinatus. These parents winter hibernation differs from usually delay making the familys that of other animals. Unlike seasonal clothes changes until bears, humans dont eat before the very last minute, Spring has arrived and every hibernating. They eat before, Therefact. the and after day you will see more varieties of during of fore, the first group spring the intriguing Homo sapiens. Homo sapiens I will introduce is Take time to ezyoy and observe Human- - the odd creatures. It wont be the Thunder-thighe- d oid. Humans often emerge from long until you will again have hibernation in a flabby and un- - difficulty finding them. Their attractive form. The thought of. season is brief. They come out for. of-doo- rs 7 Kane County Dental Group PERSONALIZED & COMFORTABLE Ask us about our new orthodontic procedures, with new techniques that decrease treatment time up to 40! Call today for a consult with Dr. John Armstrong. K. John Armstrong DDS Robert Gibson DDS Larry Staples DDS Nileen Whitlock RDH Call now for an appointment 435-644-41- 81 355 N. Main Street Kanab, UT 84741 InU |