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Show J tiidtf X - - . j k ' v V f i a M i SOUTHERN UTAH NEWS WEDNESDAY APRIL i, 1997 Community r - 7 v. 4 Domestic Blitz A group of parents were sitting at a baseball game recently. One boy came over to ask his parents a question, while he changed from his tennis shoes to baseball cleats. All parents went silent, the dreaded moment of truth had arrived... The kid yanked off his tennies to reveal his athletic socks. Socks that had begun their existence snow white, were now the color of the Mississippi River. A collective sigh of relief is issued by the parents. The world was going to have to wait yet another day to find a kid wearing truly white socks. The kids mother shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. Ive given up. Ive tried all the detergents, all the whiteners, I've practically earned stock in the Clorox company, and I still cant get his socks white." Its a conspiracy to make parents feel inadequate. (Lowlife parents cant even keep their kids in white socks. Tsk...tsk...tsk.) Sock and detergent companies obviously plotted this to garnish Needless to say, the bunch is dressed in white from their heads to the toes of their snow white socks. As youve probably guessed, the drama unfolds to show that the Iil darlings get their white socks filthy. Cut to the laundry room where the impeccably-Kiressed- , sappingly-swe- et mother is surveying the damage. She doesnt frown, scream at the kids or even utter a mild expletive...not our beloved yuppie heroine. She smiles and reaches for BRAND-X- ! Within an instant the ad shows her gracefully retrieving the socks from the dryer. Surprise, surprise, theyve been cleansed so white you need sunglasses just to look at them. I venture the dirty sock dilemma wont go away. Parents will still be dealing with the problem long after my sons grow up. But Ive been thinking, I might just beat this thing yet. My plan is to market a new product which Im hoping will launch a new trend. What about selling a new type of sock? Re-- Ive practically earned stock in the Clorox company, and I still cant get his socks white. more business. The same scenario transpires in practically every home in America. The laundering parent discovers disgusting, brownish, things in the hamper, after the socks have been worn for the first time. The parent hollers at said child (nicely, of course) asserting that heshe got all from spouses side of the family. Then they proceed to soak, bleach, wash, soak, bleach and wash, and still have dirty looking socks to show for it Whats a parent to do? Obviously you can go ahead and let the kid wear the disgusting socks, and feign ignorance. But you can go to the bank with the fact that most any kid when given the opportunity to embarrass their parent will opt for it Despite all your threats, they will take off the shoes at some point to reveal the gross seeks. If it werent for those awful 3 a s, we all wouldnt worry about stagnant stockings. Detergent companies have done their test to make us feel inadequate. Detergent ads are always on TV. They show a large, happy group ofkids playing some other active sport in the mud together. member how hot the fadedjeans trend was? People paid enormous amounts of money to purchase jeans that looked like they were ten years old. , Dont laugh, if I play my cards right, grimy yellow socks could be the next big fad. : Shirley Harris, Hospital AuxiSary Kane County's RS VP (Five County Senior Program) members indude back row Thrift Shop; Emma Norton, President Hospital Auxiliary Thrift Shop; Mary Craven, Chairperson Kane County RSVP Advisory Council; Penne & George Farts, Senior Center. Front row: Unde Sappington, director of Ftve County RSVP Program eund Carol Peters. Kanab Elementary School and Secretary for RSVP program. Photo by Barbara Pyles. (l--r) National Volunteer Week spotlights RSVP The economic return to the community provided by the selfless efforts of nearly 800 seniors enrolled in the Five County Retired and Senior Volunteer Program is being applauded during National Volunteer Week (April Men and women over 55 contribute thousands of age volunteer hours every year in Washington, Kane, Iron, Beaver and Garfield counties. Linda Sappinton, Director of Five County RSVP, invites the community to express appreciation to a senior volunteer. Members of RSVP are assigned, according to their inter ests or life experiences, to volun- teer stations, including hut not limited to area hospitals, senior events, chambers of commerce, schools, libraries and literacy programs, food hanks, and dozens of other locations in every southwestern Utah community. There is no experience necessary. The only criteria for an assignment with RSVP is a friendly handshake andor smile, enthusiasm and a willingness to or on talk to people the phone. RSVP volunteers may also re- ceive, if needed, travel reimbursement at 18 cents per mile to a maximum of $50 per quar- ter. As government programs at all levels are being cut back and problems in our communities continue to mount, our senior volunteers are a dynamic resource for problem solving and a smart investment in the future, states Sappington. Beyond the pleasant experiThere is a special urgency to ence of serving as a volunteer, benefits of membership in RSVP National Volunteer Week, adds include recognition, Harris Wofford, chief executive volunteer site arbitration or re- officer of the Corporation for assignment when interest or cir-- , National SepvkTo solve our cumstimees ch&ngsra&d ajfio-- 4 Country's prcUsms, we need to cost accident ar.d habilityinsiir-anc- e make service the common expolicy providing coverage pectation and common experience of every American." citizens centers, community during time of service. 13-19- ). face-to-fa- ce on-goi- ng Clasci Hasiovattofia! kfGonl Wade, Hoodie Image Dr. Scoff Benfloy, Chiropracfic Physician, Is now seeing pafienfs! Call Tire Sale - Long Block Chev 350 as low as $1100 installed 644-203-7 So? an appointment - Fredanh.AZ -'''- $43-7813 " 'i it 4 Gonstead y V- - S.O.T. u, ?sperfc Z&oehssteal Repair Computer Analyzer rx-tf- i-? Activator w 3311,131 t Detailing ' FtaBs!xsc&3 . y Ccapnter ABsswct X Contact Reflex Analysis Member of American Chiropractic Association |