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Show School Oi WEDNESDAY AUGUST 6, 2003 Crankcase (aka Rodney Rebel) redefines dumb understand that Jim Ott finally has a job he can handle. Hes the new night watchman at the Kanab Cemetery. He takes I 14 SOUTHERN UTAH NEWS the nightly bed check. Jim, Im proud of you. A1 ways knew youd make it big someday. Know why Kathy Miles likes to wear a hat? It hides the air valve in the back of her head. How do you know the fax is from Kathy even before you read it? It has a stamp on it. Then theres poor Mark Gilberg who has to put up with Kathys driving... or lack of it. Just yesterday, Kathy put in an emergency call to Mark to re deal better than Kathy Miles. pulled his chair up to the table This morning Jo called Doug in just as Carol said, The two a panic. Doug, she cried. The things I cook best in this world car wont start. I think theres are meatloaf and apple pie. water in the carburetor. Sully took a bite, pondered a do How you know? said Doug moment and then said, Which scornfully. You dont even know one is this? Those cracked ribs seem to be healing nicely, Sully. what a carburetor is. Im telling you, repeated Jo. However, Carols cooking is Theres water in the carbure- not yet on a par with the Babes! I overheard the Babe telling tor! Well see about that, said Doug. Dilworth Perkins just the other Ill check it out. Wheres the car? day, I bought a new cookbook In the swimming pool, said but I finally threw it away. Jo. Doug, 111 bet you a quarter Why? said Dil. Were the theres water in the carburetor! recipes too complicated? Carol Sullivan and her cookNah, said the Babe, but all ing? Well, the other day Sully the recipes started out with the same instructions, Take a clean dish. Fred Chappell passes on this bitof advice: Marriage is a great institution... but who wants to live in an institution? Fred also fOj says, I take my wife everywhere. . .but she keeps finding her way back. As I understand, Fred, Tom Willardson and Leon Christensen were sitting around talking the other day. Fred and Tom were boasting about how they controlled their wives. Leon was conspicuously quiet. Finally, Fred asked Leon, What about you? As a matter of fact, said Leon, port that someone had broken into her auto. Mark drove over to investigate. Mark! cried Kathy, Look! Theyve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, the accelerator... Kathy, sighed Mark. Youre in the back seat. I know just how you feel, Mark. Cleve Bushnells dad never was very proud of Cleve. The picture his dad used to carry around in his wallet was the picture ofthe kid that came with the wallet. Jo McFaddens skill with Mr. Fords invention isnt a great Oj Siiny Fir only last night my wife came to me on her hands and knees. Really! said Fred. What did she want? Well, said Leon, She said, Get out from under the bed and fight like a man! My wifes an angel, Rod Lathim told Lawrence Reese last Friday. Youre lucky, said Lawrence, Mines still alive! Bust his face, Mrs. Reese. Jeanine Hafen told Arlyn, The thing I hate most about parking is that noisy crash! Carolyn Petersen (who works here at the Workforce Services) is pretty dumb. Her husband Pete gave her a calendar watch. She nailed it to the wall. Cleve Bushnell? He was so dumb as a kid that his parents went to PTA meetings under an assumed name. ...But even dumber is Lynn Button. I saw him this morning and he was soaking wet. I asked him why. Those were the instructions on this shirt and pants when I bought them, answered Lynn. They said Wash and Wear. Come see 01 Crankcase about higher education. Hes the King of Dumb. Why is he such an imbecile? The hours are good. Valley High School Vallsy High School, registration Community Council Valley High School student is scheduled for nity members are encouraged registration to submit their name if inter- Thursday, August 7, 2003 from ested in becoming a member of 7:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. Parents the SchoolCommunity Coun- and students are encouraged to cil, There are two positions attend. Please come prepared available. Elections will be with filled out forms (packets held during student registra- mailed Wednesday, July 30) and tion at the high school Thurs- fee payments. If this date is not please contact the day, August 7, 2003, between convenient, 8 office for an alterat the hours of 7 a,m. and 6 pun. nate time. tValiey High School commu- 648-227- , .3 OuiO GG00C3 (CHS vua will Gompunity College f ' mi l HI ai Don't assume you can't qualify! Call or visit MCC online to apply for college financial aid. wfita eddiial ' JacCpach ipcivn o -9 t r t r t r f r i r r f f f r f f r f r t ( r ' T 5060 |