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Show WEEKLY REFLEX .' lit W.W-'-J DAVIS NEWS JOURNAL. NORTH DAVIS LEADER, APRIL 15, 1981 Love, Honor... and Share the Load By Pearline A word to the bride and groom: If you think the joyous tones of the wedding recessional, the laughter as the rice flies and the excitement of speeding off for your honeymoon are but samples of the to come And if you think you are well acquainted with that gorgeous person who just said I do to you at the .... altar happily-ever-aft- er .... Well, hear this: All is not moonlight and roses from this day forward. Now comes the business of learning to live together. And it aint easy. Love wont carry you through. But cooperation will if combined with a sense of humor and the wisdom to keep your mouth shut at cru-citimes. The first crisis could come in a al hurry. For instance, there was the bride who had the bad luck to choose a wedding date that coincided with Playboy publication day. At the first gas stop en route to a seaside resort, Mr. Newlywed bought the magazine and turned the steering wheel over to his bride. She steamed! But his head didnt come up until he heard the siren. The speeding fine still is a hot subject 15 years later. Assuming, however, that love has triumphed long enough for you to take up residence in your first abode and settle down to the business of , living together, be ready for some ; . adjustments. d A affair makes it for easy wedding guests to feel like, beautiful people. It takes the burden of stress off the bridal parents and lets them enjoy themselves, too, during an offsprings hour of glory. Since few people can live on love, the guests and relatives who travel long distances to attend a wedding, should not be expected to subsist on tidbits and champagne. A caterers refreshment table is a thoughtful way to show appreciation for their coming, and an easy way to feed the bridal party with little fuss and bother while entertaining. The casual buffet serves its purpose well . . . allowing unstructured and easy hostessing, encouraging termingling of guests who might like to know one another . . . and it is surely an improvisation on stuffy formality. A catered breakfast following an early morning wedding might include a choice of juices, scrambled eggs, baked ham and sausage links, baked beans, cottage potatoes, cinnamon applesauce, two types of hot coffee-cak- e and coffee or tea. The caterers provide the banquet table for serving, chafing pan racks, table service, silver and napkins, personnel to prepare, serve and clean-upFor an evening buffet, the entrees ham and roast might be thinly-slicebeef with slaws, gelatin desserts, potato and vegetable salads and perhaps two side dishes such as buttered carrots and colorful scallop of corn and green peppers, and buttered rolls. Advertisements point out that the professional staff will prepare, deliver, set up, serve and clean up. . Some promise to serve at your loca-nicely-catere- .- d easy-to-e- at pull-apa- rt The way I figure it, on the housekeeping front theres a whole new day due, for even with most young wives solidly ensconced in the working world, there lingers the assumption that home is her responsibility and any thing he contributes in the way of chores is a gift. We. have to change the worlds thinking, brides. Try to get across to Mr. Newlywed that housework is also his responsibility. Hes not helping you; hes doing his half. But remember that if you succeed, hell expect you to do your half, too. In this regard, the worst trap, by far, is paying attention to the neighbors. Mr. Downstairs If you remark, gets up first every morning and cooks breakfast, Friend Husband may counter with, Mrs. Adjoiningapartment washes and waxes the car! Or if you try, Sam Southcorner does all the vacuuming, Theres, Fran Firstfloor insists that her husband have TWO nights a week out with the boys. If you use this bait to try to get some cooperative action, watch out for a mate with a snappy answer. Mines rebuttal to my neighborly comparisons was, Mr. Downstairs is not my ideal. And it turned out, neither was Sam Southcorner. The pattern1 was set early in our marriage. I heard voices outside. Mr. Nextdoor, a seasoned husband, was giving advice: Now, son, dont start ANYTHING that you dont want to do the rest of your life. Why,, once when my little cupcake had a bad cold, I did the dishes for her. Ever since, she sits on a kitchen stool and talks to me while I do the dishes. Thats 23 years. Dont lift a hand, son! Youll be sorry for the Serving Jthe Guests rest of your life. Thats the kind of man my husband chose as his ideal. One who thinks first and acts never. But all in a marriage is not work anti the proper distribution of same, so, young lovers, lets take up another topic one on which youve probably made some assumptions that will have to be rethought. You expect no problem in the bedroom right? Well, theres more than lovemaking goes on within those four walls. Theres also the matter of sleep, a necessity. And there are rules to the game. And you do not both enter this marriage with the same sleep rules. Is it impossible for you to. sleep unless the covers are cozily tucked in at the foot of the bed? Adjust, my girl. He kicks them out as a prelude to settling down to his dreams. Like to read in bed? Well, turn out the light. He doesnt. And a word about sleep attire. For every bride who shops the lingerie department for silk and lace there is a bridegroom who sleeps in old gym shorts. (Or, worse, in the underwear he has had on all day and will wear again tomorrow if you dont swipe it while he is in the shower.) Its revolting, but not worth worrying about . in comparison to Snoring! Doesnt seem like a hearts and flowers subject, does it? But there is a 100 per cent chance that one of you will snore every night and its 99 per cent sure to be him. My dear girl, there are only two avenues open to you: (1) Go to sleep first so you wont hear it. This may be difficult to accomplish, so theres the alternative: (2) Give him a nudge. This takes constant experimentation and adjust - .... ... mining the exact number of guests when people come and go. We just settle on an agreeable number after the hosting couple looks over sign-i- n books. Many successful caterers are in a round-robi- n group of people who ment of technique. You start gently, progress through shove, move on to punch, then a few well placed kicks, and hope it never gets to slug. The trick is to determine what it takes to stop the snore without waking him and bringing on a bellow, What the heck do you think you are doing? Those are just some of the battlegrounds. Also, fair bride, if your young man has been living a bachelors life, away from his mothers washing machine, you may confront the dirty sock syndrome. He has learned to avoid laundromats until his clothes walk there alone, and there is a male quirk that can let him step out of a shower, fresh and shiny, into the same soggy clothes he took off. Youll learn to deal with it. Meantime, try not to head for the marriage counselor when you discover that his mother never taught him to wipe down the wall after a shower, the sound of an emory board on her finger nails drowns out everything else. he simply will not hang towels neatly after hes used them. she is late for everything. there sometimes seems to be NOTHING on which you agree. Really, its a wonder any marriage survives. But yours can. The secret is for one of you to have a wonderful disposition. Impossible? Not at all. You take turns. offer wedding-relate- d services. For being dependable and doing good work, they may be given recommendations from department store bridal consultants, photographers who specialize in weddings, and, of course, from satisfied clients. Let Caterer1 Dolt! while others own their own halls where receptions can be held. Professional caterers are many different types . . the private club, the swank hotel, a smorgasbord cafeteria, as well as food service merchants. Catering for wedding receptions is g often a service of the womens groups of churches. For a set fee per guest, women volunteers prepare the reception party tables, set out flowers, mints Srid nuts, make the gingerale-sherbepunch, cut and serve the wedding cake, do the dishes and clean up. The manager of a yacht club with large membership explained that his catering provision for wedding receptions includes a single charge of $75 for set-u- p preparations, linens and table skirts, and also includes cleanup and one bartenders fee. We provide no cake or candles, he said. The main difficulty is deter-- . tion, well-staffe- d money-makin- rt Give someone something to talk to. From one of the largest collections of house plants, trees, pots, stands and macrame in the West. 1420 So. 500 W., Bountiful 292-277- 1 |