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Show PAGE 10 Halloween Horrorscopes ing into the smaller one to see the tive listlessness, thereby allowing 22 Oct. from the large one. This you to merge with the apathetic reflection 22) (Sept. If you happen to have alternative reduces dislocated ver- - masses that comprise the vast ma- jority of contemporary Americans, something very, very important to tebrae by nearly 99 percent. Pisces do, get it done as quickly as pos- Capricorn sible. (duh.) Dont listen to that (Dec. 21 - Jan. 19) (Feb. 18 - Mar. 19) Beware of lynch mobs. Be warned; when walking infamous procrastinator, Annie. buildtomorthe down a sidewalk, run if Something you have done in the (You know, Tomorrow, row, I love ya, tomorrow) Pune- ing beside you begins to collapse, past 24 hours has made someone tuality is essential to...uh...well, You must use wisdom and fore- - really, really mad at you. The stars Im sure it must be essential to sight, however, to determine the tell me you w ill inevitably fall into Libra Taurus (Apr. 20 - May 9) 1 beep Were sorry, the number you have dialed is not valid. Please hang up and try again. beep Were sorry, the number you have dialed is not valid. Please hang up and try again. Okay, I give up. Sorry, the clutches of rampaging, blood- - Taurus. Psychic Hotline isnt an- thirsty avengers, unless you beg sw ering. No horrorscope this for mercy from the stars in the fol- - month. lowing manner; jump up and down Gemini as rapidly as you can while roll- - (May 20) direction of your flight; normally, something. the w isest course available is to Scorpio run away from the building rather (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21) Watch w here you wave than toward it. However, leaping your stingers around. Ive never into the street might result in an been stung by a Scorpio, and I in- - automobile accident. Make your ing your eyes in opposite direc- tend to keep it that way. Speaking decision carefully before acting, tions and reciting Hamlet back- ward in Swahili. of stinging, be sure to carry a bee- - but dont take too long. allerAries have kit around if you sting Aquarius (Mar. 20 - Apr. 19) gic reactions to bee stings. If you (Jan. 20 - Feb. 17) I Red meat is good, but be about then the wouldnt Cease contemplating dont, worry it. vast unfathomability and seeming sure not to eat it in excess. (Per- inconsistencies of the universe, sonally, I prefer my meat brown. Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 20) Massive, malignant migrains com- - But, if you want it raw, I suppose All those of Sagittarius monly accompany the excessive thats your problem. Of course, all (Sagittarians?) had better watch overstimulation of the frontal as- - raw meat wont hurt you-it'- s their backs. Dont twist your neck sociation area, and the result is the little worms and bacteria in it out trying, though. Mirrors are a extreme discomfort. Rather, turn that will.) Green vegetables are much safer'alternhtive.' Place a your thoughts to trivial, inane, and also healthy, but no, moldy bread large one behind you and hold a inconsiquential phenomenon. This is not a vegetable, even though its one in your hands, look- - will lull your brain into an addic- - green. 20-Ju- ne Like, I was going through lae y ou ever wondered if you are a million dollar beach house along family? Perhaps you the shores of Waikiki. TwoManti were switched at birth and hae High School seniors were actually been liing with some strange sw itched at birth, but then returned, bunch of hoodlums while your .. or were they? in the right real" family enjoys the luxury lotea of bAotea Pizza 101 S. Main, Manti 835-800- One 8, 2-it- 0 pizza, small salad, medium drink $4.69 Between the hours of 1 1 a.m. and 4 p.m. Call in advance to ensure enough time. Expires Nov. 20, 1997 the hands of random chance, Leo (July 22 - Aug. 22) Never, ever, ever stick in a bucket of molten head your lead. This causes massive discrep- ancies in the brain, and your pain receptors will go crazy for a few moments and then permanently shut off. It will effectively end any potential or realized careers of yours, not to mention w reaking havoc on your hair. Burnt hair smells nasty. Besides which, mol- ten lead on skin doesnt feel too these charts some old dude left around, and it said some pretty cool things. The old fogies got a lot of stuff, and I found his com- puter. Like, I thought that was cool, so I like started typing on it, good. and...AHH! Like, the old mans Virgo back! Sorry, I, like, gotta run, (Aug. 23 - Sept. 21) dudes! Im sorry, Virgo, but I Cancer cant gie you a horrorscope. Ac- (June 21 - July 21) cording to the positions of the Oh, no! A black hole has stars, you do not officially exist, formed in the Crab Nebula, and You will not be bom until the year its effect is catostrophic to those 2064. Um...let me go double-smallof Cancer. It seems the black hole check my charts... er Who's Who? Which one is mine? I has caused a massive disruption in the transportation of cosmic radia- tion. It now appears that Cancer has been irrevocably cut off from the rest ofthe known universe. You are no longer under the sway of the stars; your fate is entirely in Switched at Birth dark brown but blondered. Jack by: Tiffany Jackson In the wee small hours of the morning, on August 3rd 1980. the cries of a new born babe rang through the halls of Mt. Pleasants Sanpete Valley Hospital. The baby girl. Margi Petersen, was the only infant in the hospital at the time. 1 low ever, the dry spell was broken replied, Uh. . . honey, I dont think this is Margi. Of course it is, Jack, Kris exclaimed. Studying the features of the infant in his arms. Jack responded. No, this babys skin is fairer, and she seems to weigh a lot less than Margi. Come look. Not heeding to her husbands pleas. Kris impatiently when Kathy Cox gave birth to said, Come on. Jack, lets go. Kristine later that day. The two With a confused look upon his face. infants had no recollection of the Jack began to accompany his w ife exciting events the next day held out of the hospital. In the corridor, in store. Mrs. Petersen was ready Cont. on page 12 to go home the follow ing morning. However, still extremely fatigued, she allowed the nurse to dress and prepare, what they thought to be, Margi for departure. Carefully the fragile warm package was placed into the hands of Mr. Jack Petersen. The proud new father peered through the receiving blanket. Surprisingly, he found that Margi had evolved quite dramatically overnight. Her hair was no longer Margi Petersen Kristine Cox Buy one 6 inch sandwich, get any other sanwich 12 off! 11 Store hours A M. to 4 P.M. 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