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Show What Good Does a Wedding Really Do? A lot. Here are some answers Why have wedding guests? Why have a ring? What good does all the “outward show” of a wedding really do? These questions are being asked more often than ever these days. Here are some answers: The ring, presented before witnesses at a ceremony, does not magically influence the heart, but it does psychologically influence the couple and the community, just as the rest of the ceremony does. Couples who are wed in a religious ceremony in the presence of relatives and friends have al- The solemnity’ of the service, the spiritual blessing and the emotional amtosphere of joyous dedication, does gether for a lifetime than those less ing relatives—than any amount of formally united. This is one reason that the custom logical argument. Andall these, plus the presence of friends and relatives, of weddings—and wedding guests— impress upon the couple that they are taking on adult responsibilities as well as privileges, and that the success between the couple and the community. And today there isstill very little when a couple elopes, and the marriage is witnessed by strangers. In order for the marital rite of passage to be effective, the concerned community, as well as the bride and groom, mustbe present. Today, in our mobile society of small families, the concerned community may number no more than half a dozen. On the with which they manage both is important not only to them but to others. Everyone at the wedding—the couple and the witnesses—are given a chance, through the ceremony, to act out their future roles: The father walks down the aisle with the daughter who has previously been his responsibility and “gives” her to her future protector. Then he joins her mother and the other guests, leaving the bride and groom alone together, as they will be in the future—no longer a part of their former families, but the nucleus of a new family. It is at this point that mothers often cry, and sometimes fathers, too. For happy as they may be, they are also other hand, when Tricia Nixon mar- conscious of their loss. The isolation ried Edward Cox in the White House Rose Garden, the concerned community was international. their vows is a dramatic reminder of The wedding guests may feel that they are simply to share a happy occa- of the man and woman repeating their changed status. They are no longer children and they no longer belongto their parents. They are adults sion, to congratulate the newlyweds, who are pledging themselves to each to enjoy the reception or to satisfy other. their curiosity. But they are playing much more important roles. By their presence, they are giving their spiritu- This is an emotional moment, not only for the couple but for the guests as well. Unmarried friends are impressed by the giant step that lies be- al approval and blessing to the union, which is the purpose of the service. And they are adding social sanction Family Weekly, June 27, 1971 the moral support of the newlyweds. more to overcome objections—even those of jealous suitors and disapprov- start their life together. Back in the days when men sivle their brides, there was no social communication 4 and-blessing to the union...” ways been more likely to remain. to- has remained with us, manyofits traditions little changed through thousands of years. A wedding is a means of social communication, often called a “rite of passage,” without which the newlyweds are handicapped as they “A wedding is a means of social communication, a ‘rite of passage,’ without which the newlyweds are handicapped asthey start life together.” “The wedding guests .. . are playing much more important roles. By their presence, they are giving spiritual approval to the legal union and toits responsibilities to children and the tutre. Parts of the service acknowledge the importance of the guests. One part commands: “Whom God has joined together let no man put asunder.” Since the guests receive and accept this injunction, they are pledged to fore them. Married guests are poignantly reminded of both the happiness and disappointments that followed their own vowsandof the adjustments that lie ahead for the two at the altar. The emotional nature of all this is an important part of the wedding impact. Acting out the changed status and new roles symbolically with those who care and are also affected makes |