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Show Family Weekly February ??.9 Happiness After Divorce the problems and pitfolls divorcees face-a- nd ther's visitation privileges, which men) as possible so that he may choose more wisely the second time. the mother remarries, what is the best arrangement for the father's visitation rights? are second Available evidence suggests that second marriages succeed far more often than id usually thought. It was believed, for example, that those who divorced were, by personality, divorce-prone and that they would desecond a stroy marriage as they de- stroyed the first. That's not true. There is the strong evidence that many divorced persons make a success of the second marriage. In one study, 87 percent of the remarried divorced wives maintained that their present married life was much better than their former. What are the chances of marital success when both parties have been married twice before? on the individual. people, this third marriage is likely to end in the divorce courts. This is so largely because of the individual's temperament, personality, and background. Much depends If they are divorce-pron- e What are the chances of a successful marriage for a divorced woman with children to a man who has no children? great deal depends on the man's temperament, personality, and age, as well as that cf the woman. A widower or divorced male often marries a woman considerably younger than himself. In such a case, the children are apt to be young. Whether the man can accept having youngsters around him without their getting on his nerves is something he will have to decide for himself. Moreover, there is always the consciousness that his wife's children are not his children. And, too, there is the complication of the real fa A may prove embarrassing to the new husband. All this and more may prove discouraging. Yet there are many men who make the transition with relative ease and whose lives are enriched by the presence of children in the home. If Having the real father visit the home of his whenever he wishes can be embarrassing both to the and her new husband, as well as to the children. A good arrangement is to have the real father telephone well in advance of the time of his arrival to prevent embarrassing situations. A good visse ex-wi- fe itation arrangement, if at ble, is to have the real Hear... how to cope with them How long should a divorce wail before remarriage? A minimum of six months to u year. The divorcee needs time to regain his composure, to restore his sense of balance as well as humor, and to allow himself the opportunity to meet as many different women (or Just how successful marriages? Sounds all possi- father call for the children outside the home and on weekends. Does the mother have full respon- sibility for all decisions concerning the children, or must she have from their father? If the mother was awarded sole custody of the children, she has full responsibility and need not consult with her former spouse. If joint custody has been awarde i, the approval of both is needed. In case of any serious conflict, the court will make the final decision. per-missi- How do you explain the fact that you are "dating" to your children? If the children are too young to understand what a divorce means, no explanation is necesssary. If they are old enough to understand, a straightforward explanation should be given. As for the dating, older children should be told that you are going out because you need entertainment and diversion. In any case, answer truthfully. most children adjust to divorce? Probably not completely. Recent studies indicate, however, that it is not the divorce which leaves emotional scars but the conflict and hostility between the parents which led to the divorce. In short, it is the unhappy marriage itself that damages the child. In almost all cases, it is the mother who obtains custody of the youngster. Deprived of the steadying influence of a father, the child's personality may be distorted and complicated by feelings of hostility and guilt. The hostility may be directed at one or both parents. The feeling of guilt may be based on the fact that the child's loyalties are Do now hopelessly divided. The simple truth is that a child needs both parents since both have different sets of skills and attitudes to give him. He needs both a father and mother to give him a feeling of emotional security a sense of belonging and of being loved. Losing this, a child often becomes confused, feels rejected and is demoralized, and often goes through life an emotional cripple. Are second marriages successful when, for financial reasons, both husband and wife must work? Yes, if both parties are reasonably mature and are willing to make some sacrifices. Marriage is a partnership requiring the utmost cooperation. The husband, thing he can to ease the wife's burden by helping out as much as he can around the house. The wife must refrain from belittling her husband's inability to support her on his own income. But the fact that each spouse is willing to work to support the household is in itself an encouraging sign. Cl, i. New Hope for Divorcees divorce must eome, it need not wreck life forever. A factual book, "How to Find a Husband After iOcnd Before, Too." shows how divorcees can discover renewed married happiness. Mail $5.98 to F.W. Books. Dept. ISA, Box 707, Grand Central Sta., Simply by telling them the truth you have fallen in love with someone and that someone is in love with you; that the prospective husband wants to take care of them as well a as you. New York, N.Y. 10017. plain-talkin- .i n that turns on your Conn Organ and tunes out the rest of the world. Now's your chance to trade the blahs of the day for some "Blues In The Night". 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New brochure, "Conn Organ Decorator ijandhooh.'' Name. Addreti. City Slate County -- Zip CONN ORGAN MAIL TO DIPT. FW-ICORPORATION, IIKK4M, INDIANA U14 Family Weekly, February 9, 1969 I could be yj)u. The real you. Giving vent to your inner feelings. Flipping the switch . How do you explain to children that you plan to remarry? for example, should do every la |