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Show Friday. December 7, 1530 The Daily Utah Chronicle - Page Nine Merry Christmas can lead to depression the relatives are gathered around the tree, everyone gets the present they want and the story ends happily ever By Linnea Lundgren Chronicle Feature Writer after. 'Tis the season to be jolly...for some, but not for all. Most people consider the Christmas season to be intrinsically special. However, when inflated expectations aren't realized, people are vulnerable to becoming depressed. Everyone wants life to be wonderful during the holidays; however, one must distinguish if that "want" is at the level of a preference or if it is elevated to the level of a demand or an insistence. For example, during the holiday season, most people prefer or wish to be with their family. If circumstances arise in which this can't happen, a person will understandably be disappointed or sad. However, if a person demands or insists to be with their family and it turns out otherwise, the person will likely be depressed. "People are capable of demanding anything they want and believing that things should be the way they demand," Donald Strassberg, associate professor of psychology at the University of Utah, said. "When as it often turns out their demands are not met, they feel depressed and see themselves as a victim of circumstance." In these cases, people are inclined to tell themselves such things as, "life is awful," "things never go the way I want them to," and "I'll never be happy." With these attitudes, the people may give up trying to enjoy themselves and become convinced life is drab. This- - prevents the people from putting their disappointment in perspective. They can't accept that things didn't follow the prescribed plan. Many of the expectations we have about the holiday season stem from the mass media namely, television. Through television we are given a model or blueprint on how the holidays "should be," Strassberg said. For example, on television, Christmas resembles a Waltons' family gathering where everyone is warm and fuzzy, all Unfortunately, the world of the Waltons does not reflect the realities of most people's family lives. "If people insist that their holiday be like a Waltons Family Christmas they will be, at the very least, disappointed and, at the worst, depressed, depending on how strongly they conform to that expectation," he said. People should have hopes for the holidays, but one must guard against letting those hopes turn into demands. Strassberg recommends two techniques to prevent this: "Keep hopes and expectations realistic," he said. Christmas is not only Demanding a picture-perfeunreasonable, but also sets one up to be depressed. The idea of having a Waltons' type Christmas in which everyone happily sings around the Christmas tree and all is forever perfect isn't reality. "It's a fact of life that when families get together people become frustrated, arguments erupt and people want to have things their way," Strassberg said. "It turns out that people have to do a lot of compromising and accommodating during the holidays. Not everyone is of wonderful time." having a Hollywood-typ- e ct If expectations are kept within reason and these expectations have some likelihood of being met, one has a much better chance of not becoming depressed during the holidays, Strassberg explained. The second recommendation is to keep hopes for the holidays at the level of preferences ways one would like the holidays to be, not ways the holidays have to be. Preferences can be beneficial, particularly when they are acted on, maximizing the chances of the holidays turning out the way one would like. For example, if holiday time means going to parties, throw some parties and try to be invited to parties. "Don't just sit back waiting' to be invited to parties just because it is a party time of year. Don't magically expect that you'll be invited to parties. It works that way on television, but not in real life," Strassberg added. CHRONICLE ARTRyan Wayment The key for getting through the holidays without becoming depressed is to recognize that there will be some things that work out and some things that don't. "Most of the holiday problems we face, such as the Christmas turkey burning or not being with a special person are unfortunate and unpleasant, but we can live through them," Strassberg said. "They only become awful when we demand or insist that it should have worked out differently." Christmas spirit, volunteers, needed By Bill Dunford Chronicle Assistant News Editor There are literally dozens of places in Salt Lake City for people to give their time and talent to charity during the Christmas season, but many volunteer coordinators wish more people would offer their help during the rest of the year as well. The opportunities open for volunteers this year range from serving food to the hungry to visiting those confined at home and playing the piano for nursing : homes. j. ;' "There are many; many places f-- Inoway said. "Many could not operate at all without people who are willing to help, especially as federal funding becomes less and less comparable to the needs of the people the programs serve." Volunteers are always needed at Hospice of Salt Lake, an organization that provides home health care. "People are being released from hospitals sicker and quicker," Carolyn Hunter, volunteer coordinator with Hospice, said. More people home from the hospital sooner means more people who need care as they complete their recoveries, she said. This attention comes from nurses, therapists and most importantly, scores of volunteers. People who need home care include women with high-rispregnancies, premature babies, k quadriplegics and the terminally ill. "We bring quality to people's lives," Hunter said of the results of her volunteers' work. "Our teams work together to provide magnificent caring." Huhter said the recipients of such care are by no means the only beneficiaries of service, and the volunteers themselves take year-roun- d much home with them. "It makes you feel fulfilled," she said, "if you can see how you can make an impact on people's lives and make them better." The organization functions with the help of nearly 80 volunteers, about 10 percent of whom are university students. More college-age- people d volunteered in the past, but the number has declined with a slower economy, Hunter said. The program can consistently use more help. "We are always willing to bring other people into the program," Hunter said, because j said. The council, part of the Volunteer Center, acts as a clearing house to match up volunteers with a broad range of Shelter if! H i service efforts across the city. The Holiday Project, Inoway said, is one example of a program fi f that has changed lives. This project sends volunteers to the homes of those who are tied I ; really counts for the people being visited," she added; : ; r V - woman who more offers than they can handle for children's parties and similar activities, while during other 'if r " 1 f-- l t i if definitely," she said. 'i lf - In addition, most volunteers only donate their work on a onetime basis. Some people who are exposed to a project during Christmas will come back later to help, but that occurs "less than one percent of the time," Inoway said. . However, she also said that volunteerism on the whole in Salt Lake is "extremely high" compared to many cities. She LT cites religious organizations and pervasive Boy Scout system for a the number of area service taught workers. communication made visits to a prison, teaching inmates to vent violent emotions constructively. The classes she taught helped inmates solve problems that had been insurmountable for them in the past. Local agencies will serve about n jfilli volunteer Other include working opportunities far-reachi- 1,500 families this Christmas, and the Volunteer Center works with up to 10,000 volunteers at times. "The best thing, though," she said, "is for people to do something, anything, on V a consistent basis, even if it's just once a month. That is the best with hospitals and nursing homes, counseling troubled adolescents and providing help ft to teenage mothers. Volunteers form an integral part in the operations of most organizations that provide human services to the needy, Christmas season they receive "It can be a nightmare to manage all those people, L One Officials at the Salt Lake have homeless shelter complained that during the workload. the volunteers "Just being there, talking, sharing their talents is what of the year during Christmas, sometimes an inbalanced creating Resource Center V-- - and . ' down because of illness, old age or any other reason. The gifts here are not material, but rather themselves. other months combined. . r the Community Services Council of constantly need to be replaced. However, service leaders said the biggest volunteer shortage in the city occurs annually right about from December 26th on. Inoway said her office deals with nearly as many volunteers during the months of November and December as during all the months the support is not nearly so strong. Hunter said enthusiasm for her program also increases markedly i where volunteers can have a lasting impact," Rita Inoway of consist volunteers who leave the state CHRONICLE PHOTOJudd R. Hillman At the homeless shelter, there are currently so many people wanting to volunteer that some are being turned away. However, the rest of the year, it is impossible to find enough volunteers to serve the shelters needs. way to really help." Anyone interested in giving a part of themselves V this Christmas can find out about any project by calling the Volunteer Center at 486-213- 6. |
